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Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

Ba Dave


While there's life, there's hope.

Barry Dave


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Barry Dave


If I made peace with Russia today, I'd only attack her again tomorrow. I just couldn't help myself.

Barry Dave


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Barry Dave


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Barry Dave


A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

Barry Dave


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Barry Dave


A violent man will die a violent death.

Barry Dave


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Barry Dave


Three things have been difficult to tame: The oceans, fools, and women. We may soon be able to tame the ocean. Fools and women will take a little longer.

Barry Dave


You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Barry Dave


"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

Barry Dave


There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Barry Dave


Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

Barry Dave


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Barry Dave


There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Barry Dave


She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Barry Dave


Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Barry Dave


Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Barry Dave


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Barry Dave


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Barry Dave


Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Barry Dave


I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Barry Dave


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Barry Dave


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Barry Dave


"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

Barry Dave


Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Barry Dave


Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Barry Dave


"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.

Barry Dave


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Barry Dave


The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.

Barry Dave


They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Barry Dave


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Barry Dave


Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Barry Dave


Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Barry Dave


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Barry Dave


Art is anything you can get away with.

Barry Dave


I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Barry Dave


I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

Barry Dave


A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

Barry Dave


Art is a jealous mistress.

Barry Dave


He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Barry Dave


Beggars should be no choosers.

Barry Dave


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Barry Dave


Go ahead... make my day.

Barry Dave


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Barry Dave


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Barry Dave


America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesman with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

Barry Dave


Small is beautiful.

Barry Dave


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Butler Dave


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Dave


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Dave Barry


The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national organization. The stated goal of the c

Johnson Dave


The rights you have are the rights given you by this Committee [the House Un-American Activities Committee]. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got.

Millman Dave


The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

Parnas Dave


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Thomas Dave


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

de Dave Johnson on





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Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.
Brilliant Ashleigh

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Dave
 
 
 
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