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He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Ba Dave


Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Barry Dave


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Barry Dave


Our parents were of Midwestern stock and very strict. They didn't want us to grow up to be spoiled and rich. If we left our tennis racquets in the rain, we were punished.

Barry Dave


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Barry Dave


Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Barry Dave


A witty saying proves nothing.

Barry Dave


REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set i

Barry Dave


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Barry Dave


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Barry Dave


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Barry Dave


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Barry Dave


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Barry Dave


A snake lurks in the grass.

Barry Dave


To be or not to be.

Barry Dave


If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.

Barry Dave


History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

Barry Dave


Turn the other cheek.

Barry Dave


Some days you wake and immediately start worrying. Nothing in particular is wrong, it's just the suspicion that forces are aligning quietly and there will be trouble.

Barry Dave


Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Barry Dave


There but for the grace of God, goes God.

Barry Dave


A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Barry Dave


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Barry Dave


Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Barry Dave


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Barry Dave


How should they answer?

Barry Dave


I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Barry Dave


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Barry Dave


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Barry Dave


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Barry Dave


My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Barry Dave


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Barry Dave


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Barry Dave


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Barry Dave


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Barry Dave


THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it. Probabl

Barry Dave


We're only in it for the volume.

Barry Dave


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Barry Dave


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Barry Dave


What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Barry Dave


Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

Barry Dave


God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little... The trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty [...] I do not mean to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman... not enough to support a man and fiv

Barry Dave


Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Barry Dave


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Barry Dave


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Barry Dave


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Barry Dave


Indomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.

Barry Dave


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Barry Dave


Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

Barry Dave


... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

Barry Dave


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Butler Dave


What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Dave


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Dave Barry


Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

Johnson Dave


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Millman Dave


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Parnas Dave


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Thomas Dave


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

de Dave Johnson on





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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
Bierce Ambrose

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Dave
 
 
 
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