We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.