Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Tempt not a desperate man.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.