Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

All is well that ends well.

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

The better part of valor is discretion.

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

You get what you pay for.

Art is anything you can get away with.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

"That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Well begun is half done.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Go away, I'm all right.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

There is always something new out of Africa.

War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.