If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Genius is pain.

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Don't get mad, get even.

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

We are what we pretend to be.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Words have a longer life than deeds.

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Piece of cake!

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.