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Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

Adams John

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Adams John Quincy

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Altgeld John

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Berryman John

Go ahead... make my day.

Bon John Dillinger on

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Brow John Mason

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Brow John Mason

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Brunner John

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Cage John

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Cage John

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Carson Johnny

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Carson Johnny

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Carson Johnny

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Carson Johnny

I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

Ch St. John

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Cheever John

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Ciardi John

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Ciardi John

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Ciardi John

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Croll John

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Dewey John

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Diefenbaker John

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

Dillinger John

War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Elizabeth John Greenway

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Fisher John

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Florio John

"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

Foreman John

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Galbraith John Kenneth

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Galbraith John Kenneth

One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Galbraith John Kenneth

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Galsworthy John

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Hart Johnny

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Heywood John

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

Heywood John

Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Heywood John

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Heywood John

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Heywood John

One big pile is better than two little piles.

Heywood John

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Heywood John

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Heywood John

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Heywood John

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Heywood John

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Heywood John

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Heywood John

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Heywood John

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Heywood John

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Heywood John

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Heywood John

If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt

Hinckley John

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Irving John

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

John Ball

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

John Barrymore

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

John Denver

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

John Dewey

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

John Donne

Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered].

John Gardner

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

John Hunt British

Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

John Kennedy

A yawn is a silent shout.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

John LeCarre

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

John Lightfoot

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

John The Dragon to Grendel in

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Johnson Dave

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Johnson Dr.

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Johnson Dr.

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Johnson Lyndon Baines

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Johnson S.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Johnson Samuel

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Johnson Samuel

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Johnson Samuel

One good turn deserves another.

Johnson Samuel

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Johnson Samuel

To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

Johnson Samuel

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Johnson Samuel

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Johnson Lyndon

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Johnston M. M.

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Ke John F.

The first requisite for immortality is death.

Keats John

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Kennedy John F.

Small is beautiful.

Kennedy John F.

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Kennedy John F.

Nice guys finish last.

Kennedy John F.

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Kennedy John Fitzgerald

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Kennedy John

"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

Keynes John Maynard

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Keynes John Maynard

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Keynes John Maynard

There must be more to life than having everything.

Lehman John

Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Lennon John

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Lennon John

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Lilly John

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Locke John

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Lubbock John

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Lyly John

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Mill John Stuart

Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Milton John

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Milton John

Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.

Milton John

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Morley John Viscount

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

O'Hara John

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Physicist John von Neumann

It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Pollard John G.

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Pope John Paul

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Rockefeller John D.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Samuel Johnson

"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Sinclair John

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Sloan John

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Steinbeck John

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Storm Johnny

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Swayze John Cameron

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Updike John

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Updike John

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Whorfin Lord John

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

de Dave Johnson on

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