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I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Allen Fred


The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Allen Fred


I hate quotations.

Allen Fred


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Allen Fred


If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

Allen Fred


The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Allen Henry


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Allen Hubert


When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.

Allen Woody


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Allen Woody


The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Allen Woody


There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Allen Woody


Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Allen Woody


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Allen Woody


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Allen Woody


"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

Allen Woody


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Allen Woody


"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Allen Woody


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Allen Woody


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Allen Woody


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Allen Woody


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Allen Woody


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Allen Smith


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Allen Woody


I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.

Allen Woody


A diplomat's life consists of three things: protocol, Geritol, and alcohol.

Allen Woody


"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Fred Allen


The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Ginsberg Allen


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Ginsberg Allen


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Smith H. Allen


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Smith Allen


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Smith Allen


The best you get is an even break.

White William Allen


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

White William Allen


What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Woody Allen


You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

Woody Allen


When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to

Woody Allen





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The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.
Menander

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