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We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Allen Woody


"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Allen Woody


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Allen Woody


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Allen Woody


God is Dead.

Allen Woody


He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of years.

Allen Woody


A diplomat's life consists of three things: protocol, Geritol, and alcohol.

Allen Woody


The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Allen Woody


People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.

Allen Woody


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Allen Woody


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Allen Woody


There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Allen Woody


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Allen Woody


A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Allen Woody


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Allen Woody


Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Allen Woody


If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Allen Woody


If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.

Woody Allen


"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

Woody Allen


Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Woody Allen





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The faster we go, the rounder we get.
Dead The Grateful

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Allen Woody
 
 
 
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