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Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Allen Woody


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Allen Woody


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Allen Woody


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Allen Woody


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Allen Woody


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Allen Woody


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Allen Woody


With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Allen Woody


All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Allen Woody


Many hands make light work.

Allen Woody


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Allen Woody


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Allen Woody


"Plaese porrf raed."

Allen Woody


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Allen Woody


A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Allen Woody


The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Allen Woody


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Allen Woody


Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Woody Allen


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Woody Allen


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Woody Allen





Random Quote


As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent
Franklin Benjamin

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Allen Woody
 
 
 
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