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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Ambrose Bierce


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Ambrose Bierce


What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Ambrose Bierce


There are no manifestos like cannon and musketry.

Ambrose Bierce


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Ambrose Bierce


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Ambrose Bierce


I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Bierce Ambrose


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Bierce Ambrose


There's small choice in rotten apples.

Bierce Ambrose


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Bierce Ambrose


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Bierce Ambrose


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Bierce Ambrose


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Bierce Ambrose


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Bierce Ambrose


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Bierce Ambrose


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Bierce Ambrose





Random Quote


If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior.
Liebling A.J.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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