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What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Ambrose Bierce


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Ambrose Bierce


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Ambrose Bierce


If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Ambrose Bierce


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Ambrose Bierce


Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Ambrose Bierce


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Bierce Ambrose


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Bierce Ambrose


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Bierce Ambrose


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Bierce Ambrose


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Bierce Ambrose


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Bierce Ambrose


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Bierce Ambrose


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Bierce Ambrose


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Bierce Ambrose


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Bierce Ambrose





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I'm glad I was not born before tea.
Sidney Smith

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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