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The more the merrier.

Ba Dave


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Barry Dave


Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Barry Dave


Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Barry Dave


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Barry Dave


Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Barry Dave


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Barry Dave


It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Barry Dave


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Barry Dave


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Barry Dave


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Barry Dave


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Barry Dave


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Barry Dave


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Barry Dave


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Barry Dave


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Barry Dave


The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Barry Dave


If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Barry Dave


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Barry Dave


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Barry Dave


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Barry Dave


Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Barry Dave


A dead man cannot bite.

Barry Dave


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Barry Dave


There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Barry Dave


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Barry Dave


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Barry Dave


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Barry Dave


Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Barry Dave


Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Barry Dave


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Barry Dave


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Barry Dave


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Barry Dave


Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Barry Dave


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Barry Dave


If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Barry Dave


Nothing recedes like success.

Barry Dave


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Barry Dave


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Barry Dave


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Barry Dave


Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Barry Dave


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Barry Dave


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Barry Dave


Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Barry Dave


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Barry Dave


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Barry Dave


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Barry Dave


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Barry Dave


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Barry Dave


Piece of cake!

Barry Dave


He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Dave Barry





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The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.
Ballou Hosea

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ba Dave
 
 
 
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