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Home is where the hurt is.

Barry Dave


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Barry Dave


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Barry Dave


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Barry Dave


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Barry Dave


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Barry Dave


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Barry Dave


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Barry Dave


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Barry Dave


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Barry Dave


"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Barry Dave


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Barry Dave


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Barry Dave


I'll turn over a new leaf.

Barry Dave


All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Barry Dave


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Barry Dave


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Barry Dave


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Barry Dave


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Barry Dave


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Barry Dave


Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Barry Dave


He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Barry Dave


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Barry Dave


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Barry Dave


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Barry Dave


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Barry Dave


Set the cart before the horse.

Barry Dave


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Barry Dave


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Barry Dave


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Barry Dave


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Barry Dave


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Barry Dave


A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Barry Dave


What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Barry Dave


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Barry Dave


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Barry Dave


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Barry Dave


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Barry Dave


If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Barry Dave


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Barry Dave


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Barry Dave


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Barry Dave


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Barry Dave


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Barry Dave


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Barry Dave


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Barry Dave


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Barry Dave


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Barry Dave


Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Barry Dave


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Dave Barry





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When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
Truman Harry

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Barry Dave
 
 
 
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