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Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Barry Dave


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Barry Dave


The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Barry Dave


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Barry Dave


The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Barry Dave


If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.

Barry Dave


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Barry Dave


We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.

Barry Dave


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Barry Dave


REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set i

Barry Dave


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Barry Dave


"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

Barry Dave


If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Barry Dave


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Barry Dave


Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

Barry Dave


There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Barry Dave


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Barry Dave


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Barry Dave


If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Barry Dave


Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Barry Dave


The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my government because they could not keep up.

Barry Dave


Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Barry Dave


Necessity hath no law.

Barry Dave


If people say that here and there someone has been taken away and maltreated, I can only reply: You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Barry Dave


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Barry Dave


Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Barry Dave


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Barry Dave


Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.

Barry Dave


America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

Barry Dave


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Barry Dave


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Barry Dave


So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Barry Dave


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Barry Dave


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Barry Dave


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Barry Dave


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Barry Dave


Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Barry Dave


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Barry Dave


We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.

Barry Dave


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Barry Dave


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Barry Dave


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Barry Dave


We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Barry Dave


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Barry Dave


If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Barry Dave


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Barry Dave


Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Barry Dave


A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

Barry Dave


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Barry Dave


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Dave Barry





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No is no negative in a woman's mouth.
Sidney

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Dave Barry
 
 
 
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