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"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Johnson Dave

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Johnson Dr.

Last guys don't finish nice.

Johnson Dr.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Johnson Lyndon Baines

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our common doom.

Johnson S.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Johnson Samuel

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Johnson Samuel

Life is a series of rude awakenings.

Johnson Samuel

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Johnson Samuel

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Johnson Samuel

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Johnson Samuel

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Johnson Samuel

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.


France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Johnson Lyndon

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Samuel Johnson

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

de Dave Johnson on

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Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.
Bennett W.C.

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