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My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Adams Franklin

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Adams Franklin

A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Adams Franklin

Many hands make light work.

Ali Muhammad

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Alice Walker

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Alighieri Dante

Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Alinsky Saul

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Alinsky Saul

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Alinsky Saul

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Alito Noelie

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Arthur Sullivan

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Attorney General William

A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Aurelius Marcus

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Aurelius Sextus

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Balliett Whitney

Nothing endures but change.

Barker Clive

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Ben Franklin

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Berlioz Hector

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Billings Josh

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Billings Josh

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Billings Josh

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Billings Josh

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Billings Josh

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Billings Josh

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Billings Josh

Real wealth can only increase.

Blake William

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Blake William

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Blake William

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Blake William

We are what we pretend to be.

Blake William

The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Blish James

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Bon John Dillinger on

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Bowles Colin

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Bowles Colin

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Brilliant Ashleigh

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Brilliant Ashleigh

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Brilliant Ashleigh

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Brilliant Ashleigh

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Broughton Philip

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

Buckley William F.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Buckley William F.

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Burroughs William

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Burroughs William S.

With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter.

Caesar Gaius Julius

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Caesar Gaius Julius

The superfluous is very necessary.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Caesar Julius

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Carlin George

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Catlin Wynn

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

Channing William Ellery

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Chaplin Charlie

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Charles Darling

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Charles Darling

Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Charlie Crazy

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Chevalier Maurice

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Clarence Darrow to William

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Clifton Fadiman

There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

Coo Alistair

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Cooke Alistair

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Cooke Alistair

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Coolidge Calvin

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Coolidge Calvin

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Coolidge Calvin

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Coolidge Calvin

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Coolidge Calvin

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Coolidge Calvin

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Coolidge Calvin

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

Cromwell Oliver

Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.

Dali Salvador

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Dane Franklin K.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Darling Charles

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Dick Philip K.

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Dillinger John

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Disraeli Benjamin

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Disraeli Benjamin

You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Disraeli Benjamin

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Disraeli Benjamin

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Disraeli Benjamin

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

Disraeli Benjamin

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Donatus Aelius

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Elder Pliny the

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Eliot George

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Eliot George

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Eliot T.S.

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Eliot T.S.

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Eliot T.S.

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Eliot T.Sessay

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Elizabeth I

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Elizabeth John Greenway

That government is best which governs least.


If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Ellis Havelock

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Ellis Havelock

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Ellis Nancy

The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Ellison Harlan

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Ellison Harlan

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Erlich Paul

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Fadiman Clifton

"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Fadiman Clifton

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Fadiman Clifton

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Fadiman Clifton

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Faulkner William

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Faulkner William

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Fee Elizabeth

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Francisc Colin Bowles San

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Franklin B.

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Franklin B.

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Franklin B.

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Franklin B.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Franklin B.

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Franklin B.

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Franklin Ben

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

Franklin Ben

The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Franklin Ben

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Franklin Benjamin

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Franklin Benjamin

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Franklin Benjamin

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Franklin Benjamin

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Franklin Benjamin

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Franklin Benjamin

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Franklin Benjamin

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Franklin Benjamin

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

Franklin Benjamin

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Franklin Benjamin

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

G. Gordon Liddy's

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Galilei Galileo

Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.

Garrison William Lloyd

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Gibran Kahlil

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Gibran Kahlil

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Gibran Kahlil

Nothing succeeds like excess.

Gilliam E.A.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Halsey Admiral William

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Hazlitt William

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Hellman Lillian

Praise the sea; on shore remain.


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Huntingd Collis P.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

James Clive

I think we're in trouble.

James William

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

James William

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Jim Starlin

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Jim Starlin

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

John Lightfoot

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Joke The Killing

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Jones Franklin P.

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Jones Franklin P.

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Jones Franklin P.

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Jones Franklin P.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Joplin Janis

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Juliana Queen

Littering is dumb.

Julius Caesar

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Kahlil Gibran

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Kipling Rudyard

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Kirk Lisa

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Larsen Dalglish

The goys have proven the following theorem...

LeBoutillier J.

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

LeoGrande William

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Leslie Stephen

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Leslie Stephen

All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.

Lester Julius

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Li Woman's

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Li Mark Twain

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Lie Trygve

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Liebling A.J.

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Liebling A.J.

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Liepmann Hans

One good turn deserves another.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Lilly John

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Lincoln A.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Lincoln Abraham

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Lincoln Abraham

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Lincoln Abraham

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Lincoln Abraham

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Lincoln Abraham

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Lincoln Abraham

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Lincoln Abraham

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Lincoln Abraham

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Lindbergh Charles

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Ling James J.

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Lippmann Walter

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Lippmann Walter

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Little Mary Wilson

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Little Rich

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Machiavelli Niccolo

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Man Little Big

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

Mari Clive James on

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

McCarthy Charlie

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

McCarthy Charlie

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

McCorkle Julia Norton

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Melvin Belli

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Miller. Olin

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Morris William

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Moss Stirling

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

North Oliver

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Novem The Realist

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Orton William

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

Palindromist The Mad

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Paul Tillich German

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Penn William

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Perlis Alan J.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Philip Hale Boston

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Philips Emo

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Phillips Emo

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Phillips Utah

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Player Willis

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Professor English

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Publius Ovidius Naso

If God is One, what is bad?

Publius Terentius Afer

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Publius Terentius Afer

No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Publius Terentius Afer

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Publius Terentius Afer

Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Publius Vergilius Maro

Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Publius Vergilius Maro

This night methinks is but the daylight sick.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

Pulitzer Joseph

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Richard Little

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Rockwell George Lincoln

Flame on!

Roosevelt Franklin D.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Salinger J. D.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Sandra Gotlieb

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Schlafly Phyllis

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Secundus Gaius Plinius

IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Serling Rod

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

Shake William

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Shake William

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Shake William

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Shake William

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Shake William

The farther you go, the less you know.

Shake William

Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Shake William

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Shake William

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Shake William

The best you get is an even break.

Shake William

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Shake William

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Shakes William

My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Shakes William

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Shakesp William

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Shakesp William

"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Shakesp William

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Shakespear William

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Shakespear William

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Shakespear William

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Shakespear William

Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Shakespear William

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Shakespeare William

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Shakespeare William

The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Shakespeare William

Don't guess

Shakespeare William

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Shakespeare William

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Shakespeare William

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Shakespeare William

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Shakespeare William

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Shakespeare William

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Shakespeare William

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Shakespeare William

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Shakespeare William

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Shakespeare William

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Shakespeare William

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Shakespeare William

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Shakespeare William

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Shakespeare William

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Shakespeare William

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Shaw Pygmali

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Stalin Joseph

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Stalin Joseph

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Stalin Joseph

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Stalin Joseph

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Stephen Leslie

... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Strachey Lionel

Man proposes, God disposes.

Syrus Publilius

I'll never get off this planet.

Syrus Publilius

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Syrus Publilius

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Syrus Publilius

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Syrus Publilius

per year.

Syrus Publilius

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Syrus Publilius

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Syrus Publilius

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Syrus Publilius

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Syrus Publilius

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Syrus Publilius

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Syrus Publius

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

T.S. Eliot

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Taylor Elizabeth

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

The Outer Limits

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Tiselius Arne

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Titus Livius

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Tomlin Lily

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Tomlin Lily

To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

Tomlin Lily

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Tomlin Lily

If there is no wind, row.

Tomlin Lily

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Tomlin Lily

There is always something new out of Africa.

Tomlin Lily

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Trillin Calvin

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Trilling Lionel

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Wagner Lichty &

"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Walinsky Adam

There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

War Oliver

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Wellington The Duke of

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Wellington Duke

Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Wells J. Wellington

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Wells J. Wellington

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Whalen Philip

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

White William Allen

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

White William Allen

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Willard F. Libby

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

William Gibson

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

William S. Paley

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

William Shakespeare

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

William Shakespeare

Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

William Shakespeare

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

William Shakespeare

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

William Shakespeare

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Williams H.H.

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Williams Robin

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Williams Tennessee

Small is beautiful.

Williams Robin

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Williamson Nicol

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Williamson Dr. Paul

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Willie Sutton

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Yeats William Butler

Mum's the word.

Yutang Lin

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

proverb Italian

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

proverb Polish

Random Quote

Most of the fear that spoils our life comes from attacking difficulties before we get to them.
Crane Dr. Frank

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Li Woman's
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