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What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Adams Franklin

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Adams Franklin

Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

Adams Franklin

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?

Ali Muhammad

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.

Alice Walker

All Gods were immortal.

Alighieri Dante

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Alinsky Saul

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Alinsky Saul

Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing can ever be made.

Alinsky Saul

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Alito Noelie

The Russians have put a small ball up in the air. That does not raise my apprehensions one iota.

Arthur Sullivan

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Attorney General William

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Aurelius Marcus

Language is a virus from another planet.

Aurelius Sextus

Many receive advice, few profit by it.

Balliett Whitney

That's always the way when you discover something new; everyone thinks you're crazy.

Barker Clive

Real wealth can only increase.

Ben Franklin

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Berlioz Hector

Who's scruffy-looking?

Billings Josh

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Billings Josh

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Billings Josh

"It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies."

Billings Josh

I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for: If they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude. I'm a very technical

Billings Josh

I have often looked at women and committed adultery in my heart.

Billings Josh

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Billings Josh

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Blake William

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Blake William

Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!

Blake William

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

Blake William

More are taken in by hope than by cunning.

Blake William

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Blish James

Everlasting peace will come to the world when the last man has slain the last but one.

Bon John Dillinger on

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Bowles Colin

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Bowles Colin

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Brilliant Ashleigh

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The Least Perceptive Literary Critic The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax. A most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to give a public reading of his latest poem. Pope, the leading poet of h

Brilliant Ashleigh

In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.

Brilliant Ashleigh

One of the large consolations for experiencing anything unpleasant is the knowledge that one can communicate it.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Broughton Philip

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

Buckley William F.

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Buckley William F.

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

I will follow the good side right to the fire, but not into it if I can help it.

Burroughs William

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Burroughs William S.

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Caesar Gaius Julius

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Caesar Gaius Julius

So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

Caesar Julius

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.


People need good lies. There are too many bad ones.

Carlin George

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Carpenter Elizabeth

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Catlin Wynn

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

You buy a judge by weight, like iron in a junk yard. A justice of the peace or a magistrate can be had for a five-dollar bill. In the municipal courts, he will cost you ten. In the circuit or superior courts, he wants fifteen. The state appellate

Channing William Ellery

I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.

Chaplin Charlie

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Charles Darling

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Charles Darling

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

Charlie Crazy

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

Chevalier Maurice

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Clarence Darrow to William

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.

Clifton Fadiman

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Coo Alistair

I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it.

Cooke Alistair

All art is but imitation of nature.

Cooke Alistair

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

Coolidge Calvin

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception."

Coolidge Calvin

Young men, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.

Coolidge Calvin

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Coolidge Calvin

What one fool can do, another can.

Coolidge Calvin

I don't make the rules, Gil, I only play the game.

Coolidge Calvin

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Coolidge Calvin

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Cromwell Oliver

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Dali Salvador

Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I'm smiling and shaking their hands, I want to kick them.

Dane Franklin K.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Darling Charles

The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.

Dick Philip K.

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Dillinger John

A rich man told me recently that a liberal is a man who tells other people what to do with their money.

Disraeli Benjamin

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.

Disraeli Benjamin

It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

Disraeli Benjamin

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Disraeli Benjamin

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Disraeli Benjamin

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Disraeli Benjamin

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Donatus Aelius

I knew one thing: as soon as anyone said you didn't need a gun, you'd better take one along that worked.

Elder Pliny the

The Crown is full of it!

Eliot George

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Eliot George

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Eliot T.S.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Eliot T.S.

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Eliot T.S.

A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is

Eliot T.Sessay

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Elizabeth I

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Elizabeth John Greenway

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.


What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Ellis Havelock

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Ellis Havelock

The rights you have are the rights given you by this Committee [the House Un-American Activities Committee]. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got.

Ellis Nancy

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Ellison Harlan

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Ellison Harlan

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Erlich Paul

Confucius say too much.

Fadiman Clifton

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Fadiman Clifton

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Fadiman Clifton

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Fadiman Clifton

If there is no wind, row.

Faulkner William

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Faulkner William

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Fee Elizabeth

Did you know that clones never use mirrors?

Francisc Colin Bowles San

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Franklin B.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Franklin B.

"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

Franklin B.

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Franklin B.

"I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true."

Franklin B.

He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.

Franklin B.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Franklin Ben

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Franklin Ben

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Franklin Ben

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.

Franklin Benjamin

One is often kept in the right road by a rut.

Franklin Benjamin

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Franklin Benjamin

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Franklin Benjamin

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Franklin Benjamin

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Franklin Benjamin

We are not loved by our friends for what we are; rather, we are loved in spite of what we are.

Franklin Benjamin

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Franklin Benjamin

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.

Franklin Benjamin

The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

Franklin Benjamin

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

G. Gordon Liddy's

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Galilei Galileo

Never buy from a rich salesman.

Garrison William Lloyd

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Gibran Kahlil

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Gibran Kahlil

A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.

Gibran Kahlil

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Gilliam E.A.

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one.

Halsey Admiral William

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Hazlitt William

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Hellman Lillian

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Huntingd Collis P.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

James Clive

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

James William

Success is in the minds of Fools.

James William

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.

Jim Starlin

I'm sorry I missed.

Jim Starlin

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

John Lightfoot

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Joke The Killing

We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

Jones Franklin P.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Jones Franklin P.

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.

Jones Franklin P.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Jones Franklin P.

Grub first, then ethics.

Joplin Janis

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Juliana Queen

We have no scorched earth policy. We have a policy of scorched Communists.

Julius Caesar

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Kahlil Gibran

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Kipling Rudyard

If you are a fatalist, what can you do about it?

Kirk Lisa

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Larsen Dalglish

A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

LeBoutillier J.

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

LeoGrande William

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Leslie Stephen

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Leslie Stephen

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Lester Julius

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Li Woman's

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Li Mark Twain

Let's do it.

Lie Trygve

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Liebling A.J.

She often gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it).

Liebling A.J.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Liepmann Hans

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Lilly John

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Lincoln A.

Human kind cannot bear very much reality.

Lincoln Abraham

Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.

Lincoln Abraham

"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

Lincoln Abraham

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet, challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents itself before us

Lincoln Abraham

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Lincoln Abraham

I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the sentiments of others, and all positive assertion of my own. I even forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fixed opinion, such as "certainly", "

Lincoln Abraham

Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?

Lincoln Abraham

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Lincoln Abraham

I think we're in trouble.

Lindbergh Charles

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Ling James J.

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Lippmann Walter

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Lippmann Walter

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Little Mary Wilson

I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I have never made one.

Little Rich

That must be wonderful: I don't understand it at all.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Machiavelli Niccolo

"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."

Man Little Big

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Marcus Tullius Cicero

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Mari Clive James on

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

McCarthy Charlie

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

McCarthy Charlie

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

McCorkle Julia Norton

I call them as I see them. If I can't see them, I make them up.

Melvin Belli

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Miller. Olin

Go away, I'm all right.


Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Morris William

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Moss Stirling

If you want divine justice, die.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

North Oliver

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

Novem The Realist

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Orton William

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Palindromist The Mad

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Paul Tillich German

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Penn William

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

Perlis Alan J.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Philip Hale Boston

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Philips Emo

I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

Phillips Emo

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Phillips Utah

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Player Willis

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Professor English

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.


Once is happenstance, Twice is coincidence, Three times is enemy action.

Publius Ovidius Naso

I owe the public nothing.

Publius Terentius Afer

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Publius Terentius Afer

The only two things that motivate me and that matter to me are revenge and guilt.

Publius Terentius Afer

Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan. Sometimes people are just begging for that frypan, and if we weaken for a moment and honor t

Publius Terentius Afer

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Publius Vergilius Maro

For men use, if they have an evil turn, to write it in marble: and whoso doth us a good turn we write it in dust.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Publius Vergilius Maro

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.

Pulitzer Joseph

Richard Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people, and the world.

Richard Little

Politics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.

Rockwell George Lincoln

The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Salinger J. D.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Sandra Gotlieb

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

Schlafly Phyllis

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Secundus Gaius Plinius

It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.

Serling Rod

Life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on someone else.

Shake William

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Shake William

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Shake William

The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Shake William

Nothing endures but change.

Shake William

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Shake William

Don't remember what you can infer.

Shake William

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Shake William

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Shake William

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.

Shake William

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Shake William

Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.

Shakes William

Business will be either better or worse.

Shakes William

If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.

Shakesp William

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Shakesp William

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

Shakesp William

Whatever doesn't succeed in two months and a half in California will never succeed.

Shakespear William

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Shakespear William

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Shakespear William

... [after the announcement of Vanguard] ... Secretary of Defense Charles Wilson (the same "Engine Charlie" who once told the Senate, "[F]or years I've thought that what was good for our country was good for General Motors, and vice versa," probably

Shakespear William

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Shakespear William

The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Shakespeare William

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Shakespeare William

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Shakespeare William

If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

Shakespeare William

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Shakespeare William

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Shakespeare William

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Shakespeare William

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Shakespeare William

Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Shakespeare William

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Shakespeare William

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Shakespeare William

The angry man always thinks he can do more than he can.

Shakespeare William

You're always thinking you're gonna be the one that makes 'em act different.

Shakespeare William

Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

Shakespeare William

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Shakespeare William

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Shakespeare William

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Shakespeare William

Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

Shakespeare William

The mirror sees the man as beautiful, the mirror loves the man; another mirror sees the man as frightful and hates him; and it is always the same being who produces the impressions.

Shaw Pygmali

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... se

Stalin Joseph

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

Stalin Joseph

Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

Stalin Joseph

There is no sin but ignorance.

Stalin Joseph

... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

Stephen Leslie

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Strachey Lionel

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Syrus Publilius

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Syrus Publilius

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Syrus Publilius

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Syrus Publilius

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Syrus Publilius

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Syrus Publilius

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Syrus Publilius

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.

Syrus Publilius

When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.

Syrus Publilius

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Syrus Publilius

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Syrus Publilius

The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Syrus Publius

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

T.S. Eliot

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Taylor Elizabeth

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

The Outer Limits

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Tiselius Arne

The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.

Titus Livius

Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names.

Tomlin Lily

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

Tomlin Lily

Class, that's the only thing that counts in life. Class. Without class and style, a man's a bum; he might as well be dead.

Tomlin Lily

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Tomlin Lily

It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.

Tomlin Lily

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Tomlin Lily

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Tomlin Lily

Let your conscience be your guide.

Trillin Calvin

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Trilling Lionel

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Wagner Lichty &

To be is to be related.

Walinsky Adam

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."

War Oliver

It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Wellington The Duke of

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Wellington Duke

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Wells J. Wellington

As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

Wells J. Wellington

In the long run we are all dead.

Whalen Philip

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

White William Allen

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

White William Allen

Well, I'm disenchanted too. We're all disenchanted.

Willard F. Libby

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.


However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea.

William Gibson

More people are flattered into virtue than bullied out of vice.

William S. Paley

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

William Shakespeare

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

William Shakespeare

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

William Shakespeare

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

William Shakespeare

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

William Shakespeare

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Williams H.H.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Williams Robin

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Williams Tennessee

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Williams Robin

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

You shall judge of a man by his foes as well as by his friends.

Williamson Nicol

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Williamson Dr. Paul

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Willie Sutton

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Yeats William Butler

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Yutang Lin

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

proverb Italian

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

proverb Polish

Random Quote

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.
Antoinette Marie

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Li Woman's
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