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XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Adams Franklin

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Adams Franklin

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Adams Franklin

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Ali Muhammad

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Alice Walker

Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Alighieri Dante

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Alinsky Saul

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Alinsky Saul

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Alinsky Saul

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Alito Noelie

Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Arthur Sullivan

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Attorney General William

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Aurelius Marcus

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Aurelius Sextus

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

Balliett Whitney

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Barker Clive

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Ben Franklin

The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

Berlioz Hector

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Billings Josh

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Billings Josh

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Billings Josh

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Billings Josh

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Billings Josh

A man is known by the company he organizes.

Billings Josh

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Billings Josh

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Blake William

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Blake William

If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Blake William

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Blake William

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Blake William

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Blish James

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Bon John Dillinger on

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Bowles Colin

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Bowles Colin

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Brilliant Ashleigh

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Brilliant Ashleigh

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Brilliant Ashleigh

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Broughton Philip

Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Buckley William F.

Talkers are no good doers.

Buckley William F.

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Burroughs William

I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Burroughs William S.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Caesar Gaius Julius

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Caesar Gaius Julius

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Caesar Gaius Julius

I needed the good will of the legislature of four states. I formed the legislative bodies with my own money. I found that it was cheaper that way.

Caesar Julius

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Carlin George

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Carpenter Elizabeth

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Catlin Wynn

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Channing William Ellery

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Chaplin Charlie

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Charles Darling

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Charles Darling

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him. "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi

Charlie Crazy


Chevalier Maurice

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Clarence Darrow to William

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Clifton Fadiman

Coo Alistair

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Cooke Alistair

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Cooke Alistair

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Coolidge Calvin

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Coolidge Calvin

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Coolidge Calvin

"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

Coolidge Calvin

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Coolidge Calvin

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Coolidge Calvin

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Coolidge Calvin

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Cromwell Oliver

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Dali Salvador

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Dane Franklin K.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Darling Charles

None love the bearer of bad news.

Dick Philip K.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Dillinger John

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Disraeli Benjamin

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Disraeli Benjamin

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Disraeli Benjamin

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Disraeli Benjamin

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Disraeli Benjamin

Nothing succeeds like success.

Disraeli Benjamin

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Donatus Aelius

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Elder Pliny the

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.

Eliot George

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Eliot George

So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

Eliot T.S.

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Eliot T.S.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Eliot T.S.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Eliot T.Sessay

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Elizabeth I

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Elizabeth John Greenway

It follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist of the plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the instrument of h


If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

Ellis Havelock

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Ellis Havelock

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Ellis Nancy

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Ellison Harlan

All phone calls are obscene.

Ellison Harlan

While there's life, there's hope.

Erlich Paul

Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Fadiman Clifton

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Fadiman Clifton

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Fadiman Clifton

I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Fadiman Clifton

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

Faulkner William

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Faulkner William

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

Fee Elizabeth

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Francisc Colin Bowles San

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Franklin B.

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Franklin B.

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Franklin B.

The Crown is full of it!

Franklin B.

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Franklin B.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Franklin B.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Franklin Ben

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Franklin Ben

Necessity has no law.

Franklin Ben

So little time, so little to do.

Franklin Benjamin

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Franklin Benjamin

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Franklin Benjamin

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Franklin Benjamin

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Franklin Benjamin

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Franklin Benjamin

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Franklin Benjamin

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Franklin Benjamin

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Franklin Benjamin

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Franklin Benjamin

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

G. Gordon Liddy's

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Galilei Galileo

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Garrison William Lloyd

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Gibran Kahlil

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Gibran Kahlil

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Gibran Kahlil

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Gilliam E.A.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Halsey Admiral William

She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.

Hazlitt William

I steal.

Hellman Lillian

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.


I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Hodder-Williams Christopher

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Holmes Oliver Wendell

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Huntingd Collis P.

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

James Clive

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

James William

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

James William

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Jim Starlin

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Jim Starlin

I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

John Lightfoot

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Joke The Killing

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Jones Franklin P.

"It don't matter, Sail, ... Could be worse. The fam'ly might be donatin' the proceeds to the Cath'lic Church, or the Mormons or somethin'. One cult's the same another."

Jones Franklin P.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Jones Franklin P.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Jones Franklin P.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Joplin Janis

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Juliana Queen

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Julius Caesar

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Kahlil Gibran

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Kipling Rudyard

Don't everyone thank me at once!

Kirk Lisa

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Larsen Dalglish

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

LeBoutillier J.

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

LeoGrande William

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Leslie Stephen

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Leslie Stephen

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Lester Julius

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Li Woman's

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Li Mark Twain

Faith is under the left nipple.

Lie Trygve

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Liebling A.J.

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Liebling A.J.

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Liepmann Hans

This night methinks is but the daylight sick.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Lilly John

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

Lincoln A.

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Lincoln Abraham

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Lincoln Abraham

Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.

Lincoln Abraham

If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.

Lincoln Abraham

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Lincoln Abraham

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Lincoln Abraham

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Lincoln Abraham

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Lincoln Abraham

Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Lindbergh Charles

One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Ling James J.

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Lippmann Walter

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Lippmann Walter

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Little Mary Wilson

I dote on his very absence.

Little Rich

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.


The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Machiavelli Niccolo

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Man Little Big

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Mari Clive James on

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

McCarthy Charlie

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

McCarthy Charlie

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

McCorkle Julia Norton

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Melvin Belli

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Miller. Olin

Every why hath a wherefore.


"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Morris William

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Moss Stirling

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

North Lt. Col. Ollie

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

North Oliver

The farther you go, the less you know.

Novem The Realist

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.


History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Orton William

A dead man cannot bite.

Palindromist The Mad

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Paul Tillich German

A man's house is his castle.

Penn William

Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Perlis Alan J.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Philip Hale Boston

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Philips Emo

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Phillips Emo

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Phillips Utah

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Player Willis

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Professor English

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Publius Ovidius Naso

What fools these mortals be.

Publius Terentius Afer

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Publius Terentius Afer

The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the author's name on the title page.

Publius Terentius Afer


Publius Terentius Afer

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Publius Vergilius Maro

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Publius Vergilius Maro

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Pulitzer Joseph

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Richard Little

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Rockwell George Lincoln

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

What you don't know won't help you much either.

Salinger J. D.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Sandra Gotlieb

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Schlafly Phyllis

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Secundus Gaius Plinius

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Serling Rod

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Shake William

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Shake William

Necessity hath no law.

Shake William

Don't guess

Shake William

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Shake William

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Shake William

There's no justice in this world.

Shake William

The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.

Shake William

To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

Shake William

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Shake William

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Shake William

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Shakes William

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Shakes William

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Shakesp William

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Shakesp William

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Shakesp William

Never trust an automatic pistol or a D.A.'s deal.

Shakespear William

Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Shakespear William

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Shakespear William

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Shakespear William

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Shakespear William

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Shakespeare William

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Shakespeare William

And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

Shakespeare William

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Shakespeare William

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Shakespeare William

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Shakespeare William

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Shakespeare William

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Shakespeare William

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Shakespeare William

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Shakespeare William

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Shakespeare William

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Shakespeare William

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Shakespeare William

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Shakespeare William

Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Shakespeare William

The Least Successful Collector Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of t

Shakespeare William

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Shakespeare William

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Shakespeare William

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Shaw Pygmali

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Stalin Joseph

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Stalin Joseph

To use violence is to already be defeated.

Stalin Joseph

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Stalin Joseph

In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and

Stephen Leslie

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Strachey Lionel

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Syrus Publilius

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Syrus Publilius

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Syrus Publilius

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Syrus Publilius

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Syrus Publilius

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Syrus Publilius

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Syrus Publilius

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Syrus Publilius

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Syrus Publilius

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Syrus Publilius

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Syrus Publilius

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Syrus Publius

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

T.S. Eliot

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Taylor Elizabeth

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

The Outer Limits

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Tiselius Arne

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Titus Livius

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Tomlin Lily

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Tomlin Lily

Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Tomlin Lily

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Tomlin Lily

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Tomlin Lily

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

Tomlin Lily

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Tomlin Lily

A witty saying proves nothing.

Trillin Calvin

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Trilling Lionel

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Wagner Lichty &

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Walinsky Adam

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

War Oliver

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Wellington The Duke of

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Wellington Duke

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Wells J. Wellington

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Wells J. Wellington

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Whalen Philip

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

White William Allen

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

White William Allen

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Willard F. Libby

The world wants to be deceived.


Rome was not built in one day.

William Gibson

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

William S. Paley

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

William Shakespeare

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

William Shakespeare

How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

William Shakespeare

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

William Shakespeare

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

William Shakespeare

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Williams H.H.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Williams Robin

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Williams Tennessee

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Williams Robin

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Williamson Nicol

There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

Williamson Dr. Paul

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Willie Sutton

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Yeats William Butler

Your wig steers the gig.

Yutang Lin

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

proverb Italian

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

proverb Polish

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Convention is the ruler of all.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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