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Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Adams Franklin


We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Adams Franklin


To be or not to be.

Adams Franklin


There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell

Ali Muhammad


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Alice Walker


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Alighieri Dante


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Alinsky Saul


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Alinsky Saul


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Alinsky Saul


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Alito Noelie


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Arthur Sullivan


We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Attorney General William


A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Aurelius Marcus


It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Aurelius Sextus


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Balliett Whitney


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Barker Clive


The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Ben Franklin


The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Berlioz Hector


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Billings Josh


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Billings Josh


To teach is to learn twice.

Billings Josh


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Billings Josh


A is for Apple.

Billings Josh


Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Billings Josh


The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Billings Josh


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Blake William


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Blake William


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Blake William


Look before you leap.

Blake William


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Blake William


The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Blish James


He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Bon John Dillinger on


Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

Bowles Colin


Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Bowles Colin


Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Brilliant Ashleigh


The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

Brilliant Ashleigh


May you live in uninteresting times.

Brilliant Ashleigh


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Brilliant Ashleigh


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Brilliant Ashleigh


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Broughton Philip


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Buckley William F.


Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

Buckley William F.


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony


A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Burroughs William


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Burroughs William S.


To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Caesar Gaius Julius


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Caesar Gaius Julius


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Caesar Julius


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Callimachus


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Carlin George


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Carpenter Elizabeth


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Catlin Wynn


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Channing William Ellery


A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Chaplin Charlie


"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Charles Darling


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Charles Darling


How should they answer?

Charlie Crazy


Faith is under the left nipple.

Chevalier Maurice


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Tempt not a desperate man.

Clarence Darrow to William


It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Clifton Fadiman


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Coo Alistair


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Cooke Alistair


I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Cooke Alistair


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Coolidge Calvin


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Coolidge Calvin


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Coolidge Calvin


If you want divine justice, die.

Coolidge Calvin


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Coolidge Calvin


He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Coolidge Calvin


Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

Coolidge Calvin


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Cromwell Oliver


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Dali Salvador


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Dane Franklin K.


Big book, big bore.

Darling Charles


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Dick Philip K.


To add insult to injury.

Dillinger John


There is always something new out of Africa.

Disraeli Benjamin


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Disraeli Benjamin


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Disraeli Benjamin


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Disraeli Benjamin


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Disraeli Benjamin


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Disraeli Benjamin


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Donatus Aelius


Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Elder Pliny the


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Eliot George


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Eliot George


The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Eliot T.S.


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Eliot T.S.


Beggars should be no choosers.

Eliot T.S.


Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Eliot T.Sessay


A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Elizabeth I


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Elizabeth John Greenway


Getting into trouble is easy.

Elliot


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Ellis Havelock


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Ellis Havelock


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Ellis Nancy


The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Ellison Harlan


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Ellison Harlan


Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Erlich Paul


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Fadiman Clifton


A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Fadiman Clifton


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Fadiman Clifton


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Fadiman Clifton


Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Faulkner William


Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Faulkner William


The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Fee Elizabeth


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Francisc Colin Bowles San


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Franklin B.


Franklin B.


A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Franklin B.


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Franklin B.


Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Franklin B.


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Franklin B.


Honesty's the best policy.

Franklin Ben


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Franklin Ben


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Franklin Ben


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Franklin Benjamin


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Franklin Benjamin


In the long run we are all dead.

Franklin Benjamin


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Franklin Benjamin


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Franklin Benjamin


To have died once is enough.

Franklin Benjamin


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Franklin Benjamin


Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Franklin Benjamin


Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Franklin Benjamin


This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Franklin Benjamin


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

G. Gordon Liddy's


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Galilei Galileo


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Garrison William Lloyd


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Gibran Kahlil


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Gibran Kahlil


Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Gibran Kahlil


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Gilliam E.A.


Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Halsey Admiral William


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hazlitt William


Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Hellman Lillian


No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Heraclitus


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Huntingd Collis P.


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

James Clive


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

James William


There must be more to life than having everything.

James William


Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Jim Starlin


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Jim Starlin


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

John Lightfoot


There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Joke The Killing


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Jones Franklin P.


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Jones Franklin P.


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Jones Franklin P.


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Jones Franklin P.


An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Joplin Janis


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Juliana Queen


We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Julius Caesar


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Kahlil Gibran


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Kipling Rudyard


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Kirk Lisa


We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Larsen Dalglish


What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

LeBoutillier J.


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

LeoGrande William


Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

Leslie Stephen


Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Leslie Stephen


Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Lester Julius


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Li Woman's


What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Li Mark Twain


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Lie Trygve


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Liebling A.J.


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Liebling A.J.


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Liepmann Hans


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Lilly John


A man's house is his castle.

Lincoln A.


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Lincoln Abraham


The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Lincoln Abraham


Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Lincoln Abraham


I'll turn over a new leaf.

Lincoln Abraham


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Lincoln Abraham


Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Lincoln Abraham


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Lincoln Abraham


Don't get mad, get even.

Lincoln Abraham


Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Lindbergh Charles


Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Ling James J.


Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Lippmann Walter


Housework can kill you if done right.

Lippmann Walter


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Little Mary Wilson


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Little Rich


While there's life, there's hope.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Machiavelli


The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Machiavelli Niccolo


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Man Little Big


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Marcus Tullius Cicero


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Mari Clive James on


If God is One, what is bad?

McCarthy Charlie


Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

McCarthy Charlie


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

McCorkle Julia Norton


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Melvin Belli


Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Miller. Olin


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Moliere


If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Morris William


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Moss Stirling


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

North Lt. Col. Ollie


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

North Oliver


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Novem The Realist


Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Oliver


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Oliver


The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Orton William


Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Palindromist The Mad


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Paul Tillich German


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Penn William


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Perlis Alan J.


What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Philip Hale Boston


Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Philips Emo


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Phillips Emo


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Phillips Utah


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Player Willis


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Professor English


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Publilius


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Publius Ovidius Naso


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Publius Terentius Afer


The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Publius Terentius Afer


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Publius Terentius Afer


Real wealth can only increase.

Publius Terentius Afer


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Publius Vergilius Maro


Odets, where is thy sting?

Publius Vergilius Maro


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Publius Vergilius Maro


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Publius Vergilius Maro


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Pulitzer Joseph


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Richard Little


A witty saying proves nothing.

Rockwell George Lincoln


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Roosevelt Franklin D.


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Roosevelt Franklin D.


Roosevelt Franklin Delano


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Salinger J. D.


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Sandra Gotlieb


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Schlafly Phyllis


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Secundus Gaius Plinius


You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Serling Rod


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Shake William


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Shake William


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Shake William


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Shake William


The best you get is an even break.

Shake William


A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Shake William


The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Shake William


Never laugh at live dragons.

Shake William


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Shake William


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Shake William


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Shake William


Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

Shakes William


Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Shakes William


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Shakesp William


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Shakesp William


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Shakesp William


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Shakespear William


Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Shakespear William


Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Shakespear William


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Shakespear William


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Shakespear William


You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

Shakespeare William


To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

Shakespeare William


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Shakespeare William


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Shakespeare William


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Shakespeare William


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Shakespeare William


We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Shakespeare William


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Shakespeare William


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Shakespeare William


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Shakespeare William


When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Shakespeare William


They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Shakespeare William


Words have a longer life than deeds.

Shakespeare William


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Shakespeare William


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Shakespeare William


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Shakespeare William


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Shakespeare William


Small things make base men proud.

Shakespeare William


In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Shaw Pygmali


Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Stalin Joseph


In charity there is no excess.

Stalin Joseph


Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Stalin Joseph


Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Stalin Joseph


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Stephen Leslie


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Strachey Lionel


A yawn is a silent shout.

Syrus Publilius


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Syrus Publilius


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Syrus Publilius


The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Syrus Publilius


"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Syrus Publilius


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Syrus Publilius


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Syrus Publilius


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Syrus Publilius


Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Syrus Publilius


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Syrus Publilius


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Syrus Publilius


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Syrus Publius


"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

T.S. Eliot


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Taylor Elizabeth


The white race is the cancer of history.

The Outer Limits


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Tiselius Arne


The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Titus Livius


Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Tomlin Lily


The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

Tomlin Lily


Mum's the word.

Tomlin Lily


If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

Tomlin Lily


I knew her before she was a virgin.

Tomlin Lily


VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Tomlin Lily


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Tomlin Lily


New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Trillin Calvin


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Trilling Lionel


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Wagner Lichty &


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Walinsky Adam


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

War Oliver


Think sideways!

Wellington The Duke of


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Wellington Duke


'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Wells J. Wellington


Never promise more than you can perform.

Wells J. Wellington


The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Whalen Philip


The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

White William Allen


Imagine what we can imagine!

White William Allen


Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Willard F. Libby


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

William


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

William Gibson


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

William S. Paley


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

William Shakespeare


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

William Shakespeare


Patch griefs with proverbs.

William Shakespeare


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

William Shakespeare


Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

William Shakespeare


There is no sin but ignorance.

Williams H.H.


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Williams Robin


I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Williams Tennessee


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Williams Robin


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Williamson Nicol


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Williamson Dr. Paul


He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Willie Sutton


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Yeats William Butler


"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

Yutang Lin


Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson


He hath eaten me out of house and home.

proverb Italian


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

proverb Polish





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Arthur Naiman

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