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Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation."

Adams Franklin

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Adams Franklin

If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Adams Franklin

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Ali Muhammad

"I don't understand," said the scientist, "why you lemmings all rush down to the sea and drown yourselves." "How curious," said the lemming. "The one thing I don't understand is why you human beings don't."

Alice Walker

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Alighieri Dante

What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.

Alinsky Saul

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

Alinsky Saul

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Alinsky Saul

He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.

Alito Noelie

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Arthur Sullivan

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Attorney General William

an idiot politically. But the designations may be good business for war veterans. Having bled for their country in 1861 and 1918, they have bled it all they could consequently. And why not?"

Aurelius Marcus

You tread upon my patience.

Aurelius Sextus

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Balliett Whitney

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Barker Clive

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.

Ben Franklin

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Berlioz Hector

America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.

Billings Josh

You get what you pay for.

Billings Josh

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Billings Josh

When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Billings Josh

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Billings Josh

Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!

Billings Josh

Prizes are for children.

Billings Josh

Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks into, there is room for lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is a matter of discretion.

Blake William

The world wants to be deceived.

Blake William

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Blake William

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Blake William

Many hands make light work.

Blake William

To know Edina is to reject it.

Blish James

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Bon John Dillinger on

The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Bowles Colin

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Bowles Colin

The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Nothing succeeds like success.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Everybody has something to conceal.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Brilliant Ashleigh

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Broughton Philip

The Least Perceptive Literary Critic The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax. A most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to give a public reading of his latest poem. Pope, the leading poet of h

Buckley William F.

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Buckley William F.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Burroughs William

Human kind cannot bear very much reality.

Burroughs William S.

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Caesar Gaius Julius

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Caesar Gaius Julius

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Caesar Gaius Julius

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

Caesar Julius

"There is a God, but He drinks"


Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Carlin George

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Carpenter Elizabeth

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Catlin Wynn

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Channing William Ellery

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Chaplin Charlie

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

Charles Darling

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Charles Darling

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Charlie Crazy

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

Chevalier Maurice

No good deed goes unpunished.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're leading the parade.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The worst part of having success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

Clarence Darrow to William

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Clifton Fadiman

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Coo Alistair

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say. "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints t

Cooke Alistair

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Cooke Alistair

In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing to us.

Coolidge Calvin

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Coolidge Calvin

We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.

Coolidge Calvin

Did you know that clones never use mirrors?

Coolidge Calvin

Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.

Coolidge Calvin

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Coolidge Calvin

I dote on his very absence.

Coolidge Calvin

All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.

Cromwell Oliver

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Dali Salvador

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Dane Franklin K.

How apt the poor are to be proud.

Darling Charles

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Dick Philip K.

I have nothing but utter contempt for the courts of this land.

Dillinger John

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Disraeli Benjamin

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Disraeli Benjamin

"Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday. Mannis feels he must devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might emanate from a recent statement he made compar

Disraeli Benjamin

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Disraeli Benjamin

The major advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.

Disraeli Benjamin

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Disraeli Benjamin

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Donatus Aelius

If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

Elder Pliny the

In the long run we are all dead.

Eliot George

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Eliot George

When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

Eliot T.S.

You can never do just one thing.

Eliot T.S.

Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Eliot T.S.

Were it not for the presence of the unwashed and the half-educated, the formless, queer and incomplete, the unreasonable and absurd, the infinite shapes of the delightful human tadpole, the horizon would not wear so wide a grin.

Eliot T.Sessay

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.

Elizabeth I

Don't change the reason, just change the excuses!

Elizabeth John Greenway

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.


I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

Ellis Havelock

It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

Ellis Havelock

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Ellis Nancy

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Ellison Harlan

Serfs up!

Ellison Harlan

Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull inbetween.

Erlich Paul

The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my government because they could not keep up.

Fadiman Clifton

They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Fadiman Clifton

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Fadiman Clifton

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Fadiman Clifton


Faulkner William

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.

Faulkner William

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Fee Elizabeth

In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Francisc Colin Bowles San

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Franklin B.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Franklin B.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Franklin B.

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

Franklin B.

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Franklin B.

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

Franklin B.

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Franklin Ben

Another day, another dollar.

Franklin Ben

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

Franklin Ben

If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Franklin Benjamin

Class, that's the only thing that counts in life. Class. Without class and style, a man's a bum; he might as well be dead.

Franklin Benjamin

If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Franklin Benjamin

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Franklin Benjamin

Everyone is in the best seat.

Franklin Benjamin

More are taken in by hope than by cunning.

Franklin Benjamin

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Franklin Benjamin

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Franklin Benjamin

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Franklin Benjamin

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Franklin Benjamin

Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.

G. Gordon Liddy's

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Galilei Galileo

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Garrison William Lloyd

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Gibran Kahlil

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Gibran Kahlil

The first requisite for immortality is death.

Gibran Kahlil

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Gilliam E.A.

Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Halsey Admiral William

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Hazlitt William

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Hellman Lillian

If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt


Politics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Holmes Oliver Wendell

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Huntingd Collis P.

Convention is the ruler of all.

James Clive

A decade after Vietnam, we still cannot understand why "their" Salvadorans fight better than "our" Salvadorans. It is not a matter of their training or their equipment. It has to do with the quality of the society we are asking them to risk death d

James William

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

James William

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.

Jim Starlin

But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Jim Starlin

A is for Apple.

John Lightfoot

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Joke The Killing

The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism, call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.

Jones Franklin P.

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

Jones Franklin P.

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Jones Franklin P.

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Jones Franklin P.

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Joplin Janis

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Juliana Queen

Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me.

Julius Caesar

Think sideways!

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.

Kahlil Gibran

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Kipling Rudyard

It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

Kirk Lisa

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Larsen Dalglish

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

LeBoutillier J.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

LeoGrande William

I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practice law.

Leslie Stephen

It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.

Leslie Stephen

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Lester Julius

The great merit of society is to make one appreciate solitude.

Li Woman's

Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies.

Li Mark Twain

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Lie Trygve

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Liebling A.J.

Go slowly to the entertainments of thy friends, but quickly to their misfortunes.

Liebling A.J.

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Liepmann Hans

If there is no wind, row.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Lilly John

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

Lincoln A.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Lincoln Abraham

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Lincoln Abraham

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Lincoln Abraham

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Lincoln Abraham

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Lincoln Abraham

Don't remember what you can infer.

Lincoln Abraham

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Lincoln Abraham

The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.

Lincoln Abraham

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Lindbergh Charles

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Ling James J.

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

Lippmann Walter

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is the reason that He makes so many of them.

Lippmann Walter

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Little Mary Wilson

If you want divine justice, die.

Little Rich

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

"Quite frankly, I don't like you humans. After what you all have done, I find being 'inhuman' a compliment."

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

I consider the day misspent that I am not either charged with a crime, or arrested for one.


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Machiavelli Niccolo

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Man Little Big

No Marxist can deny that the interests of socialism are higher than the interests of the right of nations to self-determination.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Mari Clive James on

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

McCarthy Charlie

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

McCarthy Charlie

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

McCorkle Julia Norton

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Melvin Belli

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

Miller. Olin

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.


I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

Morris William

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Moss Stirling

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

North Oliver

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Novem The Realist

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.


Go away, I'm all right.


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Orton William

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Palindromist The Mad

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Paul Tillich German

Having no talent is no longer enough.

Penn William

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Perlis Alan J.

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Philip Hale Boston

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Philips Emo

For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Phillips Emo

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Phillips Utah

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Player Willis

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Professor English

Nice guys finish last.


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Publius Ovidius Naso

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Publius Terentius Afer

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Publius Terentius Afer

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so.

Publius Terentius Afer

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Publius Terentius Afer

Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

Publius Vergilius Maro

If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.

Publius Vergilius Maro

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Publius Vergilius Maro

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Publius Vergilius Maro

People say I live in my own little fantasy world... well, at least they *know* me there!

Pulitzer Joseph

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Richard Little

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Rockwell George Lincoln

So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least we exist.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.

Salinger J. D.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Sandra Gotlieb

I go the way that Providence dictates.

Schlafly Phyllis

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Secundus Gaius Plinius

NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

Serling Rod

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Shake William

Sometimes, too long is too long.

Shake William

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Shake William

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Shake William

Beggars should be no choosers.

Shake William

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Shake William

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Shake William

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Shake William

We're all in this alone.

Shake William

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Shake William

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Shake William

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Shakes William

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Shakes William

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Shakesp William

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out on the pleasure.

Shakesp William

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Shakesp William

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Shakespear William

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Shakespear William

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Shakespear William

Piece of cake!

Shakespear William

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Shakespear William

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Shakespeare William

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Shakespeare William

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Shakespeare William

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Shakespeare William

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Shakespeare William

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Shakespeare William

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Shakespeare William

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

Shakespeare William

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Shakespeare William

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Shakespeare William

A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow. The time had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to catching instructions on the wing.

Shakespeare William

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Shakespeare William

One good turn asketh another.

Shakespeare William

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Shakespeare William

The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.

Shakespeare William

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

Shakespeare William

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

Shakespeare William

It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short

Shakespeare William

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Shaw Pygmali

When you jump for joy, beware that no-one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Stalin Joseph

"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."

Stalin Joseph

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Stalin Joseph

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Stalin Joseph

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Stephen Leslie

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Strachey Lionel

Your wig steers the gig.

Syrus Publilius

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Syrus Publilius

For a light heart lives long.

Syrus Publilius

"Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else. He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!" "Which is what we do to anyone

Syrus Publilius

Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Syrus Publilius

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Syrus Publilius

Talkers are no good doers.

Syrus Publilius

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Syrus Publilius

I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behin

Syrus Publilius

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

Syrus Publilius

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Syrus Publilius

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Syrus Publius

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

T.S. Eliot

"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Taylor Elizabeth

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

The Outer Limits

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Tiselius Arne

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

Titus Livius

To teach is to learn twice.

Tomlin Lily

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Tomlin Lily

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Tomlin Lily

Charity begins at home.

Tomlin Lily

A witty saying proves nothing.

Tomlin Lily

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Tomlin Lily

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Tomlin Lily

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Trillin Calvin

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Trilling Lionel

Language is a virus from another planet.

Wagner Lichty &

[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Walinsky Adam

"They make a desert and call it peace."

War Oliver

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Wellington The Duke of

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Wellington Duke

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Wells J. Wellington

Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing can ever be made.

Wells J. Wellington

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.

Whalen Philip

A non-vegetarian anti-abortionist is a contradiction in terms.

White William Allen

It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles.

White William Allen

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Willard F. Libby

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.


If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.

William Gibson

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

William S. Paley

I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

William Shakespeare

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

William Shakespeare

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

William Shakespeare

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

William Shakespeare

She often gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it).

William Shakespeare

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Williams H.H.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Williams Robin

The worst is not so long as we can say "This is the worst."

Williams Tennessee

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Williams Robin

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue.

Williamson Nicol

Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.

Williamson Dr. Paul

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Willie Sutton

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Yeats William Butler

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Yutang Lin

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

proverb Italian

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened. Keep the company of bums and you will become a bum. Hang around with rich people and you will end by picki

proverb Polish

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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Borge Victor

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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