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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Adams Franklin

Knowledge is power.

Adams Franklin

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Adams Franklin

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Ali Muhammad

The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

Alice Walker

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Alighieri Dante

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Alinsky Saul

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Alinsky Saul

Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Alinsky Saul

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Alito Noelie

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Arthur Sullivan

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Attorney General William

Nobody shot me.

Aurelius Marcus

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Aurelius Sextus

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Balliett Whitney

I think the world is run by C students.

Barker Clive

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Ben Franklin

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Berlioz Hector

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Billings Josh

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Billings Josh

A snake lurks in the grass.

Billings Josh

Pilfering Treasury property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are ruthless in punishing little thieves.

Billings Josh

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Billings Josh

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.

Billings Josh

The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Billings Josh

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Blake William

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Blake William

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Blake William

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Blake William

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Blake William

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Blish James

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

Bon John Dillinger on

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Bowles Colin

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Bowles Colin

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Men are superior to women.

Brilliant Ashleigh

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Anything is possible on paper.

Brilliant Ashleigh

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Broughton Philip

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Buckley William F.

I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practice law.

Buckley William F.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Burroughs William

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Burroughs William S.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Caesar Gaius Julius

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Caesar Gaius Julius

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Caesar Julius

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Carlin George

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Carpenter Elizabeth


Catlin Wynn

I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

A yawn is a silent shout.

Channing William Ellery

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Chaplin Charlie

If there is no wind, row.

Charles Darling

In Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of assassination.

Charles Darling

You can't underestimate the power of fear.

Charlie Crazy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Chevalier Maurice

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Clarence Darrow to William

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Clifton Fadiman

You can never do just one thing.

Coo Alistair

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Cooke Alistair

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Cooke Alistair

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Coolidge Calvin

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Coolidge Calvin

There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.

Coolidge Calvin

Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Coolidge Calvin

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Coolidge Calvin

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Coolidge Calvin

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Coolidge Calvin

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Cromwell Oliver

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Dali Salvador

Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

Dane Franklin K.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Darling Charles

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Dick Philip K.

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Dillinger John

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Disraeli Benjamin

Man proposes, God disposes.

Disraeli Benjamin

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Disraeli Benjamin

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Disraeli Benjamin

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Disraeli Benjamin

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Disraeli Benjamin

The white race is the cancer of history.

Donatus Aelius

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Elder Pliny the

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Eliot George

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Eliot George

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Eliot T.S.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Eliot T.S.

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Eliot T.S.

War is like love, it always finds a way.

Eliot T.Sessay

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.

Elizabeth I

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Elizabeth John Greenway

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Ellis Havelock

For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years. This gives me great hope for the human race.

Ellis Havelock

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Ellis Nancy

You can build a throne out of bayonets, but you can't sit on it for very long.

Ellison Harlan

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Ellison Harlan

We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.

Erlich Paul

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Fadiman Clifton

Three things have been difficult to tame: The oceans, fools, and women. We may soon be able to tame the ocean. Fools and women will take a little longer.

Fadiman Clifton

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Fadiman Clifton

Andrea: Unhappy the land that has no heroes. Galileo: No, unhappy the land that _____needs heroes.

Fadiman Clifton

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Faulkner William

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Faulkner William

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Fee Elizabeth

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Francisc Colin Bowles San

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Franklin B.

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Franklin B.

I'm not a lovable man.

Franklin B.

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

Franklin B.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Franklin B.

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Franklin B.

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Franklin Ben

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Franklin Ben

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Franklin Ben

We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Franklin Benjamin

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Franklin Benjamin

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Franklin Benjamin

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Franklin Benjamin

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Franklin Benjamin

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Franklin Benjamin

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

Franklin Benjamin

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Franklin Benjamin

A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.

Franklin Benjamin

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Franklin Benjamin

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

G. Gordon Liddy's

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Galilei Galileo

A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Garrison William Lloyd

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Gibran Kahlil

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Gibran Kahlil

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Gibran Kahlil

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Gilliam E.A.

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Halsey Admiral William

So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

Hazlitt William

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Hellman Lillian

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Hodder-Williams Christopher

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

There's no justice in this world.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

General notions are generally wrong.

Huntingd Collis P.

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

James Clive

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

James William

I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

James William

"One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there should be a Coastal Commission, I took a helicopter ride from Los Angeles to San Diego. We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some virtually empty. They had the

Jim Starlin

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

Jim Starlin

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

John Lightfoot

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Joke The Killing

"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."

Jones Franklin P.

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Jones Franklin P.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Jones Franklin P.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Jones Franklin P.

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Joplin Janis

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Juliana Queen

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

Julius Caesar

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Kahlil Gibran

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Kipling Rudyard

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Kirk Lisa

Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

Larsen Dalglish

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

LeBoutillier J.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

LeoGrande William

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

Leslie Stephen

The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national organization. The stated goal of the c

Leslie Stephen

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Lester Julius

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

Li Woman's

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Li Mark Twain

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Lie Trygve

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Liebling A.J.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Liebling A.J.

There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

Liepmann Hans

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Lilly John

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Lincoln A.

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Lincoln Abraham

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Lincoln Abraham

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Lincoln Abraham

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Lincoln Abraham

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Lincoln Abraham

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Lincoln Abraham

Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

Lincoln Abraham

Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Lincoln Abraham

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Lindbergh Charles

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

Ling James J.

Uppers are no longer stylish, methedrine is almost as rare as pure acid or DMT. "Consciousness Expansion" went out with LBJ and it is worth noting, historically, that downers came in with Nixon.

Lippmann Walter

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Lippmann Walter

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Little Mary Wilson

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Little Rich

The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is marxism.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Nothing succeeds like success.


He thinks the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

Machiavelli Niccolo

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Man Little Big

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Marcus Tullius Cicero

The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Mari Clive James on

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

McCarthy Charlie

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

McCarthy Charlie

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

McCorkle Julia Norton

I would have made a good pope.

Melvin Belli

No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

Miller. Olin

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Morris William

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Moss Stirling

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

North Oliver

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Novem The Realist

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Orton William

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

Palindromist The Mad

How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read.

Paul Tillich German

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Penn William

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Perlis Alan J.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Philip Hale Boston

Our swords shall play the orators for us.

Philips Emo

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Phillips Emo

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Phillips Utah

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Player Willis

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Professor English

The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.


They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Publius Ovidius Naso

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

Publius Terentius Afer

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Publius Terentius Afer

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Publius Terentius Afer

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

Publius Terentius Afer

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Publius Vergilius Maro

It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

Publius Vergilius Maro

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Pulitzer Joseph

My rackets are run on strictly American lines, and they're going to stay that way.

Richard Little

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Rockwell George Lincoln

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

When you're in command, command.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Salinger J. D.

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Sandra Gotlieb

No good deed goes unpunished.

Schlafly Phyllis

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Secundus Gaius Plinius

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Serling Rod

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Shake William

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.

Shake William

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Shake William

But you shall not escape my iambics.

Shake William

We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Shake William

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Shake William

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Shake William

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Shake William

IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Shake William

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Shake William

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Shake William

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Shakes William

Nice guys finish last.

Shakes William

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Shakesp William

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Shakesp William

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Shakesp William

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Shakespear William

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Shakespear William

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Shakespear William

Confucius say too much.

Shakespear William

Under every stone lurks a politician.

Shakespear William

I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.

Shakespeare William

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Shakespeare William

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

Shakespeare William

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Shakespeare William

If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.

Shakespeare William

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Shakespeare William

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Shakespeare William

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Shakespeare William

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Shakespeare William

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Shakespeare William

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Shakespeare William

Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Shakespeare William

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Shakespeare William

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Shakespeare William

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Shakespeare William

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Shakespeare William

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Shakespeare William

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Shakespeare William

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Shaw Pygmali

There's small choice in rotten apples.

Stalin Joseph

If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.

Stalin Joseph

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Stalin Joseph

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Stalin Joseph

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Stephen Leslie

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Strachey Lionel

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Syrus Publilius

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Syrus Publilius

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Syrus Publilius

No television performance takes as much preparation as an off-the-cuff talk.

Syrus Publilius

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Syrus Publilius

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Syrus Publilius

The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

Syrus Publilius

The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

Syrus Publilius

The Crown is full of it!

Syrus Publilius

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Syrus Publilius

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Syrus Publilius

Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Syrus Publius

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

T.S. Eliot

"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Taylor Elizabeth

How apt the poor are to be proud.

The Outer Limits

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Tiselius Arne

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Titus Livius

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Tomlin Lily

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Tomlin Lily

He didn't run for reelection. "Politics brings you into contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."

Tomlin Lily

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Tomlin Lily

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Tomlin Lily

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Tomlin Lily

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Tomlin Lily

While there's life, there's hope.

Trillin Calvin

Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Trilling Lionel

I'm never through with a girl until I've had her three ways.

Wagner Lichty &

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Walinsky Adam

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

War Oliver

To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

Wellington The Duke of

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Wellington Duke

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Wells J. Wellington

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Wells J. Wellington

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Whalen Philip

If people say that here and there someone has been taken away and maltreated, I can only reply: You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

White William Allen

I steal.

White William Allen

No evil can happen to a good man.

Willard F. Libby

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.


Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

William Gibson

We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

William S. Paley

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

William Shakespeare

United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of all the patriots of every persuasion. Meanwhil

William Shakespeare

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

William Shakespeare

Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

William Shakespeare

Go away, I'm all right.

William Shakespeare

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Williams H.H.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Williams Robin

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Williams Tennessee

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Williams Robin

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre! [It is magnificent, but it is not war]

Williamson Nicol

April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Williamson Dr. Paul

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Willie Sutton

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Yeats William Butler

Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull inbetween.

Yutang Lin

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

of the time.

proverb Italian

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

proverb Polish

Random Quote

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."
D Vine

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Li Woman's
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