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My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Adams Franklin


TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Adams Franklin


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Adams Franklin


Many hands make light work.

Ali Muhammad


Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Alice Walker


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Alighieri Dante


Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Alinsky Saul


It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Alinsky Saul


What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Alinsky Saul


Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Alito Noelie


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Arthur Sullivan


A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Attorney General William


A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Aurelius Marcus


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Aurelius Sextus


I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Balliett Whitney


Nothing endures but change.

Barker Clive


Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Ben Franklin


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Berlioz Hector


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Billings Josh


My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Billings Josh


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Billings Josh


Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Billings Josh


Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Billings Josh


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Billings Josh


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Billings Josh


Real wealth can only increase.

Blake William


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Blake William


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Blake William


In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Blake William


We are what we pretend to be.

Blake William


The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Blish James


Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Bon John Dillinger on


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Bowles Colin


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Bowles Colin


There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Brilliant Ashleigh


If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Brilliant Ashleigh


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Brilliant Ashleigh


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Brilliant Ashleigh


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Brilliant Ashleigh


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Broughton Philip


The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

Buckley William F.


Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Buckley William F.


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Burroughs William


Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Burroughs William S.


With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter.

Caesar Gaius Julius


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Caesar Gaius Julius


The superfluous is very necessary.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Caesar Julius


Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Callimachus


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Carlin George


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Carpenter Elizabeth


Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Catlin Wynn


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

Channing William Ellery


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Chaplin Charlie


Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Charles Darling


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Charles Darling


Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Charlie Crazy


There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Chevalier Maurice


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Cicero Marcus Tullius


The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Clarence Darrow to William


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Clifton Fadiman


There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

Coo Alistair


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Cooke Alistair


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Cooke Alistair


A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Coolidge Calvin


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Coolidge Calvin


The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Coolidge Calvin


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Coolidge Calvin


It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Coolidge Calvin


I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Coolidge Calvin


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Coolidge Calvin


Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

Cromwell Oliver


Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.

Dali Salvador


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Dane Franklin K.


Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Darling Charles


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Dick Philip K.


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Dillinger John


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Disraeli Benjamin


Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Disraeli Benjamin


You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Disraeli Benjamin


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Disraeli Benjamin


War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Disraeli Benjamin


His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

Disraeli Benjamin


Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Donatus Aelius


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Elder Pliny the


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Eliot George


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Eliot George


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Eliot T.S.


An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Eliot T.S.


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Eliot T.S.


The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Eliot T.Sessay


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Elizabeth I


The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Elizabeth John Greenway


That government is best which governs least.

Elliot


If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Ellis Havelock


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Ellis Havelock


Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Ellis Nancy


The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Ellison Harlan


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Ellison Harlan


Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Erlich Paul


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Fadiman Clifton


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Fadiman Clifton


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Fadiman Clifton


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Fadiman Clifton


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Faulkner William


We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Faulkner William


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Fee Elizabeth


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Francisc Colin Bowles San


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Franklin B.


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Franklin B.


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Franklin B.


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Franklin B.


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Franklin B.


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Franklin B.


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Franklin Ben


Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

Franklin Ben


The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Franklin Ben


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Franklin Benjamin


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Franklin Benjamin


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Franklin Benjamin


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Franklin Benjamin


There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Franklin Benjamin


I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Franklin Benjamin


So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Franklin Benjamin


A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Franklin Benjamin


Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

Franklin Benjamin


The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Franklin Benjamin


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

G. Gordon Liddy's


No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Galilei Galileo


Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.

Garrison William Lloyd


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Gibran Kahlil


There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Gibran Kahlil


"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Gibran Kahlil


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Gilliam E.A.


I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Halsey Admiral William


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Hazlitt William


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Hellman Lillian


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Heraclitus


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Huntingd Collis P.


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

James Clive


I think we're in trouble.

James William


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

James William


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Jim Starlin


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Jim Starlin


The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

John Lightfoot


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Joke The Killing


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Jones Franklin P.


You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Jones Franklin P.


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Jones Franklin P.


No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Jones Franklin P.


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Joplin Janis


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Juliana Queen


Littering is dumb.

Julius Caesar


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Kahlil Gibran


Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Kipling Rudyard


The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Kirk Lisa


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Larsen Dalglish


The goys have proven the following theorem...

LeBoutillier J.


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

LeoGrande William


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Leslie Stephen


There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Leslie Stephen


All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.

Lester Julius


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Li Woman's


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Li Mark Twain


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Lie Trygve


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Liebling A.J.


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Liebling A.J.


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Liepmann Hans


One good turn deserves another.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Lilly John


Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Lincoln A.


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Lincoln Abraham


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Lincoln Abraham


I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Lincoln Abraham


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Lincoln Abraham


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Lincoln Abraham


A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Lincoln Abraham


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Lincoln Abraham


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Lincoln Abraham


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Lindbergh Charles


Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Ling James J.


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Lippmann Walter


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Lippmann Walter


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Little Mary Wilson


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Little Rich


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Machiavelli


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Machiavelli Niccolo


Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Man Little Big


Satire is tragedy plus time.

Marcus Tullius Cicero


The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

Mari Clive James on


It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

McCarthy Charlie


In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

McCarthy Charlie


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

McCorkle Julia Norton


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Melvin Belli


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Miller. Olin


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Moliere


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Morris William


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Moss Stirling


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

North Lt. Col. Ollie


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

North Oliver


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Novem The Realist


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Oliver


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Oliver


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Orton William


War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

Palindromist The Mad


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Paul Tillich German


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Penn William


To generalize is to be an idiot.

Perlis Alan J.


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Philip Hale Boston


The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Philips Emo


All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Phillips Emo


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Phillips Utah


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Player Willis


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Professor English


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Publilius


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Publius Ovidius Naso


If God is One, what is bad?

Publius Terentius Afer


He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Publius Terentius Afer


No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Publius Terentius Afer


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Publius Terentius Afer


Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

Publius Vergilius Maro


The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Publius Vergilius Maro


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Publius Vergilius Maro


This night methinks is but the daylight sick.

Publius Vergilius Maro


The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

Pulitzer Joseph


We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Richard Little


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Rockwell George Lincoln


Flame on!

Roosevelt Franklin D.


Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Roosevelt Franklin D.


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Roosevelt Franklin Delano


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Salinger J. D.


Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Sandra Gotlieb


Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Schlafly Phyllis


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Secundus Gaius Plinius


IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Serling Rod


Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

Shake William


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Shake William


We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Shake William


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Shake William


Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Shake William


The farther you go, the less you know.

Shake William


Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Shake William


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Shake William


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Shake William


The best you get is an even break.

Shake William


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Shake William


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Shakes William


My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Shakes William


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Shakesp William


America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Shakesp William


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Shakesp William


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Shakespear William


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Shakespear William


The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Shakespear William


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Shakespear William


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Shakespear William


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Shakespeare William


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Shakespeare William


The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Shakespeare William


Don't guess

Shakespeare William


The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Shakespeare William


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Shakespeare William


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Shakespeare William


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Shakespeare William


I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Shakespeare William


A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Shakespeare William


The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Shakespeare William


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Shakespeare William


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Shakespeare William


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Shakespeare William


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Shakespeare William


It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Shakespeare William


You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Shakespeare William


"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Shakespeare William


In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Shaw Pygmali


There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Stalin Joseph


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Stalin Joseph


Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Stalin Joseph


Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Stalin Joseph


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Stephen Leslie


... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Strachey Lionel


Man proposes, God disposes.

Syrus Publilius


I'll never get off this planet.

Syrus Publilius


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Syrus Publilius


"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Syrus Publilius


A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Syrus Publilius


per year.

Syrus Publilius


Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Syrus Publilius


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Syrus Publilius


I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Syrus Publilius


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Syrus Publilius


One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Syrus Publilius


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Syrus Publius


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

T.S. Eliot


Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Taylor Elizabeth


A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

The Outer Limits


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Tiselius Arne


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Titus Livius


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Tomlin Lily


[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Tomlin Lily


To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

Tomlin Lily


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Tomlin Lily


If there is no wind, row.

Tomlin Lily


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Tomlin Lily


There is always something new out of Africa.

Tomlin Lily


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Trillin Calvin


"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Trilling Lionel


If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Wagner Lichty &


"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Walinsky Adam


There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

War Oliver


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Wellington The Duke of


Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Wellington Duke


Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Wells J. Wellington


Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Wells J. Wellington


Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Whalen Philip


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

White William Allen


Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

White William Allen


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Willard F. Libby


Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

William


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

William Gibson


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

William S. Paley


To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

William Shakespeare


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

William Shakespeare


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

William Shakespeare


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

William Shakespeare


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

William Shakespeare


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Williams H.H.


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Williams Robin


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Williams Tennessee


Small is beautiful.

Williams Robin


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Williamson Ren'e de Visme


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Williamson Nicol


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Williamson Dr. Paul


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Willie Sutton


Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Yeats William Butler


Mum's the word.

Yutang Lin


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson


The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

proverb Italian


Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

proverb Polish





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Most of the fear that spoils our life comes from attacking difficulties before we get to them.
Crane Dr. Frank

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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