I hate dying.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

One good turn deserves another.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Practice yourself what you preach.