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If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Oscar Wilde


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Oscar Wilde


I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Wilde Oscar


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Wilde Oscar


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Wilde Oscar


If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Wilde Oscar


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Wilde Oscar


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Wilde Oscar


"Plaese porrf raed."

Wilde Oscar


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Wilde Oscar


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Wilde Oscar


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Wilde Oscar


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Wilde Oscar


Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

Wilde Oscar


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Wilde Oscar


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Wilde Oscar


Look before you leap.

Wilde Oscar


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Wilde Oscar


Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Wilde Oscar


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Wilde Oscar


We're all in this alone.

Wilde Oscar


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Wilde Oscar


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Wilde Oscar


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Wilde Oscar


Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Wilde Oscar


Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Wilde Oscar


There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Wilde Oscar


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Wilde Oscar


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Wilde Oscar


God is Dead.

Wilde Oscar


None love the bearer of bad news.

Wilde Oscar


Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Wilde Oscar


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Wilde Oscar


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Wilde Oscar


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Wilde Oscar


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Wilde Oscar


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Wilde Oscar


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Wilde Oscar


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Wilde Oscar





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You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.
Gerould Katharine Fullerton

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Oscar Wilde
 
 
 
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