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I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Oscar Wilde


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Oscar Wilde


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Wilde Oscar


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Wilde Oscar


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Wilde Oscar


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Wilde Oscar


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Wilde Oscar


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Wilde Oscar


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Wilde Oscar


He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Wilde Oscar


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Wilde Oscar


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Wilde Oscar


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Wilde Oscar


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Wilde Oscar


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Wilde Oscar


The optimum committee has no members.

Wilde Oscar


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Wilde Oscar


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Wilde Oscar


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Wilde Oscar


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Wilde Oscar


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Wilde Oscar


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Wilde Oscar


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Wilde Oscar


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Wilde Oscar


If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Wilde Oscar


Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Wilde Oscar


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Wilde Oscar


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Wilde Oscar


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Wilde Oscar


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Wilde Oscar


The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Wilde Oscar


I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Wilde Oscar


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Wilde Oscar


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Wilde Oscar


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Wilde Oscar


When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Wilde Oscar


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Wilde Oscar


Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Wilde Oscar


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Wilde Oscar





Random Quote


Liberals are the first to dump you if you con them or get into trouble. Conservatives are better. They never run out on you.
Joseph Gallo

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Oscar Wilde
 
 
 
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