Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Go away, I'm all right.

I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Nothing recedes like success.

Men will fuck mud.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.