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If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Shake William


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Shake William


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Shake William


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Shake William


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Shake William


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Shake William


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Shake William


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Shake William


Housework can kill you if done right.

Shake William


Shake William


One good turn asketh another.

Shake William


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Shakes William


America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Shakes William


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Shakesp William


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Shakesp William


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Shakesp William


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Shakespear William


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Shakespear William


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Shakespear William


Go ahead... make my day.

Shakespear William


Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Shakespear William


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Shakespeare William


Mum's the word.

Shakespeare William


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Shakespeare William


Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Shakespeare William


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Shakespeare William


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Shakespeare William


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Shakespeare William


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Shakespeare William


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Shakespeare William


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Shakespeare William


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Shakespeare William


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Shakespeare William


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Shakespeare William


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Shakespeare William


Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Shakespeare William


It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Shakespeare William


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Shakespeare William


Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Shakespeare William


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

William Shakespeare


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

William Shakespeare


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

William Shakespeare


For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

William Shakespeare


You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

William Shakespeare





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Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
Long Lazarus

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Shake William
 
 
 
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