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I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Shakespeare William


There are no answers, only cross-references.

Shakespeare William


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Shakespeare William


If there is no wind, row.

Shakespeare William


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Shakespeare William


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Shakespeare William


When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Shakespeare William


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Shakespeare William


Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Shakespeare William


You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Shakespeare William


Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Shakespeare William


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Shakespeare William


Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Shakespeare William


Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Shakespeare William


Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Shakespeare William


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Shakespeare William


We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Shakespeare William


I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behin

Shakespeare William


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

William Shakespeare


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

William Shakespeare


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

William Shakespeare


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

William Shakespeare


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

William Shakespeare





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I never killed a man that didn't deserve it.
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William Shakespeare
 
 
 
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