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Words have a longer life than deeds.

Abigail Van Buren


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

About Edmond


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

About Edmond


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

About Edmond


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Abrams Gen. C.


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Acheson Dean


Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Acton Lord


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Acton Lord


With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Adams D.


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Adams Franklin


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Adams Franklin


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Adams Franklin


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Adams Henry


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Adams Henry Brook


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Adams John


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Adams John Quincy


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Adams Samuel


The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Adams Douglas


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

AdamsHenry


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Ade George


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Adenauer Dr. Konrad


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Adenauer Konrad


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Adler Alfred


You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Adler Alfred


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Adler Renata


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Adler Bill


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Adler Bill


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Adler Bill


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Adler Bill


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Adolf Hitler


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Adolph Hitler


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Adolph Hitler


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Advanced R. Bach


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Adventurer The


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Aeschylus


I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Aeschylus


Your wig steers the gig.

Aeschylus


The man who runs may fight again.

Aesop


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Afer Terentius


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Agnew Spiro


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Agnew Spiro


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Aiken Howard


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Ajaye Franklyn


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Ajaye Franklyn


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Ajaye Franklyn


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Al Capone


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Al Capone


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Aldo Leopold


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Alexand


Real wealth can only increase.

Alexand


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Alexander Thea


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Alexander. N.


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Alexandre Arnoux


Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Alfieri


If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Ali Muhammad


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Alice Walker


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Alighieri Dante


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Alinsky Saul


Anything is possible on paper.

Alinsky Saul


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Alinsky Saul


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Alito Noelie


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Allan Virginia


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Allen Fred


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Allen Fred


I owe the public nothing.

Allen Fred


Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Allen Fred


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Allen Fred


Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Allen Henry


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Allen Hubert


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Allen Woody


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Allen Woody


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Allen Woody


Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Allen Woody


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Allen Woody


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Allen Woody


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Allen Woody


Well begun is half done.

Allen Woody


Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Allen Woody


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Allen Woody


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Allen Woody


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Allen Woody


Forgive and forget.

Allen Woody


Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Allen Woody


The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Allen Smith


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Allen Woody


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Allen Woody


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Allen Woody


Language is a virus from another planet.

Alo Vincent


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Alphonse Karr


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Alsop Joseph


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Altgeld John


If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Altman Robert


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Ambrose St.


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Ambrose Bierce


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Ambrose Bierce


And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Ambrose Bierce


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Ambrose Bierce


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Ambrose Bierce


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Ambrose Bierce


Look ere ye leap.

Anacreon


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Anastasia Albert


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Anderson Laurie


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Anderson Laurie


Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Anderson Laurie


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Andre Maurois


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Anne Frank


Beggars should be no choosers.

Anouilh Jean


Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Anouilh Jean


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Anthony Piers


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Anthony Susan B.


Honesty's the best policy.

Antoinette Marie


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Appleby Sir Humphrey


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Arendt Hannah


What one fool can do, another can.

Aristophanes


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Aristophanes


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Aristophanes


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Aristotle


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Aristotle


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Aristotle


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Aristotle


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Aristotle


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Aristotle


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Aristotle


Faith is under the left nipple.

Aristotle


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Arlen Michael


All phone calls are obscene.

Armour Richard


Business will be either better or worse.

Armstrong Louis


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Arthur Naiman


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Arthur Naiman


If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Arthur Naiman


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Arthur Sullivan


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Ashley-Pitt Alan


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Asimov Isaac


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Asimov Isaac


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Aspin Les D.


Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Asterix Adventures of


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Attorney General William


Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Atwood Margaret


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Auden W.H.


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Augustine


Housework can kill you if done right.

Augustine Norman


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Augustine Norman


per year.

Augustine Norman


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Augustine Norman


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Augustine Norman


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Augustine Norman


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Augustine Norman


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Augustine Saint


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Augustine St.


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Augustine St.


I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Augustine St.


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Augustine St.


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Aurelius Marcus


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Aurelius Sextus


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Aurobindo Sri


To have died once is enough.

Aurobindo Sri


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Austen J.


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Avery


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Ayres C.E.





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I needed the good will of the legislature of four states. I formed the legislative bodies with my own money. I found that it was cheaper that way.
Gould Jay

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