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Go away, I'm all right.

Abigail Van Buren


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

About Edmond


One good turn asketh another.

About Edmond


I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

About Edmond


Haste makes waste.

Abrams Gen. C.


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Acheson Dean


Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Acton Lord


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Acton Lord


Genius is pain.

Adams D.


I do desire we may be better strangers.

Adams Franklin


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Adams Franklin


If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Adams Franklin


Such evil deeds could religion prompt.

Adams Henry


"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Adams Henry Brook


The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Adams John


The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Adams John Quincy


There can be no daily democracy without daily citizenship.

Adams Samuel


This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

Adams Douglas


We should be glad we're living in the time that we are. If any of us had been born into a more enlightened age, I'm sure we would have immediately been taken out and shot.

AdamsHenry


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Ade George


April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Adenauer Dr. Konrad


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Adenauer Konrad


Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS ag

Adler Alfred


The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity. To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.

Adler Alfred


"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Adler Renata


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Adler Bill


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Adler Bill


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Adler Bill


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Adler Bill


Men will fuck mud.

Adolf Hitler


I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.

Adolph Hitler


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Adolph Hitler


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Advanced R. Bach


If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

Adventurer The


If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Aeschylus


Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Aeschylus


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Aeschylus


Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Aesop


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Afer Terentius


To add insult to injury.

Agnew Spiro


Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.

Agnew Spiro


You buy a judge by weight, like iron in a junk yard. A justice of the peace or a magistrate can be had for a five-dollar bill. In the municipal courts, he will cost you ten. In the circuit or superior courts, he wants fifteen. The state appellate

Aiken Howard


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Ajaye Franklyn


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Ajaye Franklyn


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Ajaye Franklyn


Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Al Capone


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Al Capone


When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Aldo Leopold


This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Alexand


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Alexand


In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Alexander Thea


Words have a longer life than deeds.

Alexander. N.


It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Alexandre Arnoux


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Alfieri


Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Ali Muhammad


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Alice Walker


If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.

Alighieri Dante


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Alinsky Saul


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Alinsky Saul


By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Alinsky Saul


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Alito Noelie


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Allan Virginia


Business will be either better or worse.

Allen Fred


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Allen Fred


No two persons ever read the same book.

Allen Fred


What!? Me worry?

Allen Fred


Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Allen Fred


The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Allen Henry


Two heads are better than one.

Allen Hubert


If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Allen Woody


"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Allen Woody


We are what we pretend to be.

Allen Woody


Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

Allen Woody


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Allen Woody


All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.

Allen Woody


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Allen Woody


If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Allen Woody


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Allen Woody


If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Allen Woody


"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Allen Woody


I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Allen Woody


Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Allen Woody


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Allen Woody


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Allen Smith


Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Allen Woody


What I tell you three times is true.

Allen Woody


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Allen Woody


Robert Kennedy's 1964 Senatorial campaign planners told him that their intention was to present him to the television viewers as a sincere, generous person. "You going to use a double?" asked Kennedy. Thumbing through a promotional pamphlet prep

Alo Vincent


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Alphonse Karr


One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Alsop Joseph


There are no answers, only cross-references.

Altgeld John


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Altman Robert


Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Ambrose St.


Well begun is half done.

Ambrose Bierce


The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

Ambrose Bierce


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Ambrose Bierce


To use violence is to already be defeated.

Ambrose Bierce


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Ambrose Bierce


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Ambrose Bierce


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Anacreon


You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Anastasia Albert


What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Anderson Laurie


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Anderson Laurie


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Anderson Laurie


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Andre Maurois


Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author

Anne Frank


The language of politics is poetry, not prose. Jackson is poetry. Cuomo is poetry. Dukakis is a word processor.

Anouilh Jean


Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Anouilh Jean


Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Anthony Piers


They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Anthony Susan B.


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Antoinette Marie


I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

Appleby Sir Humphrey


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Arendt Hannah


Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Aristophanes


Aristophanes


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Aristophanes


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Aristotle


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Aristotle


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Aristotle


The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Aristotle


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Aristotle


Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Aristotle


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Aristotle


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Aristotle


The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.

Arlen Michael


"Listen to what I say, not what I mean. I mean ...."

Armour Richard


Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Armstrong Louis


I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Arthur Naiman


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Arthur Naiman


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Arthur Naiman


Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

Arthur Sullivan


Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Asimov Isaac


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Asimov Isaac


Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

Aspin Les D.


Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Asterix Adventures of


The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Attorney General William


NEW YORK

Atwood Margaret


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Auden W.H.


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Augustine


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Augustine Norman


Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.

Augustine Norman


The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

Augustine Norman


"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

Augustine Norman


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Augustine Norman


Events are not affected, they develop.

Augustine Norman


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Augustine Norman


I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Augustine Saint


Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Augustine St.


Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Augustine St.


"If we relied conclusively on scientific data for every one of our findings, I'm afraid all of our work would be inconclusive."

Augustine St.


Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Augustine St.


The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Aurelius Marcus


They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Aurelius Sextus


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Aurobindo Sri


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Aurobindo Sri


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Austen J.


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Avery


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Ayres C.E.





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Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.
Seeger Pete

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