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Housework can kill you if done right.

Abigail Van Buren

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

About Edmond

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

About Edmond

The better part of valor is discretion.

About Edmond

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Abrams Gen. C.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Acheson Dean

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Acton Lord

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Acton Lord

In charity there is no excess.

Adams D.

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Adams Franklin

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Adams Franklin

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Adams Franklin

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Adams Henry

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Adams Henry Brook

When in doubt, use brute force.

Adams John

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Adams John Quincy

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Adams Samuel

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

Adams Douglas

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.


I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Ade George

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Adenauer Dr. Konrad

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Adenauer Konrad

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Adler Alfred

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Adler Alfred

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Adler Renata

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Adler Bill

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Adler Bill

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Adler Bill

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Adler Bill

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Adolf Hitler

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Adolph Hitler

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Adolph Hitler

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Advanced R. Bach

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Adventurer The

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.


This was the most unkindest cut of all.


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.


Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Afer Terentius

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Agnew Spiro

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Agnew Spiro

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Aiken Howard

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Ajaye Franklyn

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Ajaye Franklyn

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Ajaye Franklyn

What one fool can do, another can.

Al Capone

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Al Capone

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Aldo Leopold

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r


Odets, where is thy sting?

Alexander Thea

The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

Alexander. N.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Alexandre Arnoux

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.


You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Ali Muhammad

I think we're in trouble.

Alice Walker

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Alighieri Dante

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Alinsky Saul

Who's scruffy-looking?

Alinsky Saul

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Alinsky Saul

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Alito Noelie

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Allan Virginia

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Allen Fred

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Allen Fred

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Allen Fred

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Allen Fred

One good turn deserves another.

Allen Fred

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Allen Henry

A full belly makes a dull brain.

Allen Hubert

Flame on!

Allen Woody

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Allen Woody

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Allen Woody

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Allen Woody

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Allen Woody

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Allen Woody

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Allen Woody

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Allen Woody

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Allen Woody

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Allen Woody

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Allen Woody

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Allen Woody

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Allen Woody

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Allen Woody

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Allen Smith

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Allen Woody

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Allen Woody

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Allen Woody

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Alo Vincent

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Alphonse Karr

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Alsop Joseph

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Altgeld John

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Altman Robert

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Ambrose St.

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Ambrose Bierce

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Ambrose Bierce

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Ambrose Bierce

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Ambrose Bierce

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Ambrose Bierce

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Ambrose Bierce

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.


I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Anastasia Albert

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

Anderson Laurie

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Anderson Laurie

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Anderson Laurie

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Andre Maurois

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Anne Frank

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Anouilh Jean

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Anouilh Jean

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Anthony Piers

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Anthony Susan B.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Antoinette Marie

Anything is possible on paper.

Appleby Sir Humphrey

Two heads are better than one.

Arendt Hannah

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.


Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.


The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."


Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.


No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.


America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Arlen Michael

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Armour Richard

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Armstrong Louis

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Arthur Naiman

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Arthur Naiman

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Arthur Naiman

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Arthur Sullivan

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Ashley-Pitt Alan

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Asimov Isaac

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Asimov Isaac

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Aspin Les D.

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Asterix Adventures of

The farther you go, the less you know.

Attorney General William

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Atwood Margaret

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Auden W.H.

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Augustine Norman

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Augustine Norman

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Augustine Norman

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Augustine Norman

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Augustine Norman

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Augustine Norman

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Augustine Norman

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Augustine Saint

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Augustine St.

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Augustine St.

It's not easy, being green.

Augustine St.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Augustine St.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Aurelius Marcus

Littering is dumb.

Aurelius Sextus

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Aurobindo Sri

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Aurobindo Sri

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Austen J.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Ayres C.E.

Random Quote

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."
M Hawkeye

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