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Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

B Marion Zimmer

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Ba Dave

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Baber R.E.

A snake lurks in the grass.

Babson Roger

Most general statements are false, including this one.

Bacall Lauren

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Bach J.S.

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Bach Richard

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

Bacharach Burt

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Bacon Francis

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Bacon Francis

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Bacon Francis

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Bacon Francis

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Bacon Francis

The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

Bacon Francis

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Bacon Francis

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Bacon Francis

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Bailey P.J.

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author

Baja Dan Jenkins

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Baker Russell

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Baker Russell

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Baker Russell

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Baker Russell

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Baldwin James

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Baldwin Stanley

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Balfour Arthur

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Balliett Whitney

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Ballou Hosea

What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Balzac Honor'e de

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Bandits Time

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Bankhead Tallulah

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Banks Russell

The best you get is an even break.

Banzai Buckaroo

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Barber Milt

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.


The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Barf Biff

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Barker Clive

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Barrie J.M.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Barris Chuck

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Barry Dave

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Barry Dave

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Barry Dave

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Barry Dave

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Barry Dave

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Barry Dave

The optimum committee has no members.

Barry Dave

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Barry Dave

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Barry Dave

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Barry Dave

A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Barry Dave

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Barry Dave

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Barry Dave

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Barry Dave

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Barry Dave

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Barry Dave

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Barry Dave

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Barry Dave

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Barry Dave

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Barry Dave

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Barry Dave

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Barry Dave

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Barry Dave

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Barry Dave

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Barry Dave

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Barry Dave


Barry Dave

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Barry Dave

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Barry Dave

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Barry Dave

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Barry Dave

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Barry Dave

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Barry Dave

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Barry Dave

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Barry Dave

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Barry Dave

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Barry Dave

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Barry Dave

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Barry Dave

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Barry Dave

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Barry Dave

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Barry Dave

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Barry Dave

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Barry Dave

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Barry Dave

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Barry Dave

The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.

Barry Dave

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Barry Dave

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Barry Dave

One big pile is better than two little piles.

Baruch B.

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Battie Bill

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Baudelaire Charles

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Beal Louise

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Bear Greg

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Beard Charles A.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Beard Peter

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Beaton Cecil

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

Beatty Paul

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Beauvoir Simone de

There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

Beck Bob

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Becke Samuel

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Beckett Samuel

Under every stone lurks a politician.

Beckett Samuel

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Beckett Samuel

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Beckman Roman

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Beer Stafford

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Behan Brendan

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Behan Brendan

A is for Apple.

Behan Brendan

The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

Behan Brendan

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Belloc Hilaire

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Bellow Saul

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Ben Franklin

Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

Benares Camden

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Benares Camden

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Benchley Robert

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Benchley Robert

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Benchley Robert

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Benchley Robert

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Benjamin A.

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Bennett Alan

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Bennett Arnold

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Bennett D.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Bennett James Gordon

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Bennett W.C.

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Bennett W.C.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Bergen Candice

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Berle Milton

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Berlioz Hector

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Berman Edgar

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Bernanos Georges

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Berner Jeff

I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.

Berquier Edouard

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Berra Yogi

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Berra Yogi

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Berryman John

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Biel Gabriel

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Bierce Ambrose

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Bierce Ambrose

A man's house is his castle.

Bierce Ambrose

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Bierce Ambrose

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Bierce Ambrose

"I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?"

Bierce Ambrose

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Bierce Ambrose

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Bierce Ambrose

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Bierce Ambrose

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Bierce Ambrose

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Bilbo Baggins

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Bill Adler

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Bill Cain

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Bill Cain

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Billings Josh

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Billings Josh

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Billings Josh

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Billings Josh

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Billings Josh

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Billings Josh

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Billings Josh

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Binder Dr. L.

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Binstead Arthur

Well begun is half done.


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She


If God is One, what is bad?


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Bismarck Otto Von

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Bismarck Otto Von

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Bismarck Otto von

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Bismarck Otto von

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Bismarck Otto von

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Bismark Otto von

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.


We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Blake William

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Blake William

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Blake William

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Blake William

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Blake William

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Blaylock James P.

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Blaylock James P.

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

Blaylock James P.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Blaylock James P.

A full belly makes a dull brain.

Blish James

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap


The world wants to be deceived.


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Bo Napoleon

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Bo Napoleon

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Bob Cary Grant

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Bob Dylan

Haste makes waste.

Boffo Mister

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Bogart Humphrey

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Bogart Humphrey

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Bohr Niels

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Boleyn Anne

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Bombeck Erma

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Bombeck Erma

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Bon John Dillinger on

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Bono Ed De

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Bonzai Buckaroo

What!? Me worry?

Boorstin Daniel J.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Boren James H.

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Borge Victor

Many hands make light work.

Bosky Bernadette

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Bosquet Pierre

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Bossert W.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Boswell James

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Bowie David

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Bowles Colin

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Bowles Colin

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

Bradbury Ray

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Bradley F.H.

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Bradley General Omar N.

Rome was not built in one day.

Bramah Ernest

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Brando Marlon

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Brando Marlon

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Brant Sebastian

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Braun Wernher von

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Brecher K.

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Brecheux J.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Brecht Bertold

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Brecht Bertolt

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Brecht Bertolt

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Brecht Bertolt

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Brecht Bertolt

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Brecht Bertolt

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Brecht Bertolt

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Brecht Bertolt

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Brenan Gerald

A witty saying proves nothing.

Brescia Albertano of

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Brian Herbert

A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Briggs Austen

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Brilliant Ashleigh

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Brilliant Ashleigh

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Broder David

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Brodsky Joseph

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Brogan Colm

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Brooks Mel

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Brooks Atkinson

Set the cart before the horse.

Brooks Mel

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Brooks Mel

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Brothers The Blues

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Brothers The Blues

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Broughton Philip

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Brow John Mason

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Brow John Mason

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Brown Governor Jerry

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Brown Rita Mae

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Browning Robert

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Bruce Lenny

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Bruce Lenny

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Bruce Lenny

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.

Bruce Lenny

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Bruce Lenny

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Bruce Lenny

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Bruce Lenny

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Bruce Lenny

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Bruce Lenny

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Bruce Lenny

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Bruce Lenny

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Brunner John

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Bruyere Jean de la

A violent man will die a violent death.

Bry Yul

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Bryson Lyman

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Buckley Lord

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Buckley William F.

There's small choice in rotten apples.

Buckley William F.

Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Buddha Gotama

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

Bullwinkle Rocky and

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Bullwinkle J. Moose

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Bumstead Dagwood

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Bungei Shunju

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Buren Abigail Van

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Buren Abigail Van

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Burgess Anthony

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Burke James

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Burnham Daniel Hudson

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Burns George

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Burns George

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Burroughs William

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Burroughs William S.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Burt Lanier Safford III

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Burton Robert

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Burton Sir Richard

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Burton Sir Richard

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Business Risky

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

Butler Dave

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Butler Samuel

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Butler Samuel

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Butler Samuel

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Butler Samuel

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Butler Samuel

We are what we pretend to be.

Butler Samuel

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Butler Samuel

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Bux Bastian B.

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Byrnes James F.

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Bywater T.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

beach. from the

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

better. much

Random Quote

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.
Orwell George

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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