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I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.

B Marion Zimmer

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Ba Dave

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Baber R.E.

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Babson Roger

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Bacall Lauren

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Bach J.S.

We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Bach Richard

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Bacharach Burt

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Bacon Francis

While there's life, there's hope.

Bacon Francis

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Bacon Francis

Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning must go to the same ass

Bacon Francis

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or wha

Bacon Francis

All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Bacon Francis

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Bacon Francis

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Bacon Francis

I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.

Bailey P.J.

The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.

Baja Dan Jenkins

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Baker Russell

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Baker Russell

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Baker Russell

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Baker Russell

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Baldwin James

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Baldwin Stanley

"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."


If you have seen one city slum you have seen them all.

Balfour Arthur

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Balliett Whitney

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Ballou Hosea

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.


Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Balzac Honor'e de

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Bandits Time

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Bankhead Tallulah

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Banks Russell

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Banzai Buckaroo

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Barber Milt

"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex." (Where there is no police, there is no speed limit.)


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Barf Biff

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Barker Clive

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Barrie J.M.

I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

Barris Chuck

I will make you shorter by the head.

Barry Dave

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Barry Dave

Too clever is dumb.

Barry Dave

Odets, where is thy sting?

Barry Dave

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Barry Dave

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Barry Dave

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

Barry Dave

It's not easy, being green.

Barry Dave

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Barry Dave

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Barry Dave

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

Barry Dave

There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell

Barry Dave

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Barry Dave

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Barry Dave

The man who raises a fist has run out of ideas.

Barry Dave

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Barry Dave

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Barry Dave

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

Barry Dave

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Barry Dave

Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Barry Dave

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Barry Dave

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Barry Dave

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Barry Dave

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Barry Dave

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Barry Dave

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Barry Dave

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Barry Dave

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Barry Dave

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Barry Dave

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Barry Dave

A witty saying proves nothing.

Barry Dave

If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.

Barry Dave

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Barry Dave

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Barry Dave

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Barry Dave

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Barry Dave

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Barry Dave

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Barry Dave

All phone calls are obscene.

Barry Dave

Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Barry Dave

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Barry Dave

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

Barry Dave

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Barry Dave

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Barry Dave

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Barry Dave

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Barry Dave

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Barry Dave

Robert Kennedy's 1964 Senatorial campaign planners told him that their intention was to present him to the television viewers as a sincere, generous person. "You going to use a double?" asked Kennedy. Thumbing through a promotional pamphlet prep

Barry Dave

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Barry Dave

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Baruch B.

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Battie Bill

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Baudelaire Charles

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Beal Louise

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Bear Greg

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.

Beard Charles A.

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

Beard Peter

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Beaton Cecil

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Beatty Paul

A rich man told me recently that a liberal is a man who tells other people what to do with their money.

Beauvoir Simone de

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Beck Bob

Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

Becke Samuel

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.


I am a deeply superficial person.

Beckett Samuel

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Beckett Samuel

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Beckett Samuel

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Beckman Roman

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Beer Stafford

Big book, big bore.

Behan Brendan

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Behan Brendan

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Behan Brendan

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Behan Brendan

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

Belloc Hilaire

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Bellow Saul

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Ben Franklin

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Benares Camden

... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

Benares Camden

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Benchley Robert

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Benchley Robert

In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.

Benchley Robert

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Benchley Robert

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.


A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Benjamin A.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Bennett Alan

Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Bennett Arnold

"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

Bennett D.

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

Bennett James Gordon

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Bennett W.C.

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

Bennett W.C.

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Bergen Candice

Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Berle Milton

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Berlioz Hector

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Berman Edgar

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Bernanos Georges

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Berner Jeff

The idle mind knows not what it is it wants.

Berquier Edouard

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Berra Yogi

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Berra Yogi

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Berryman John

Beggars should be no choosers.

Biel Gabriel

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Bierce Ambrose

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Bierce Ambrose

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Bierce Ambrose

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Bierce Ambrose

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Bierce Ambrose

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Bierce Ambrose

"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Bierce Ambrose

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Bierce Ambrose

If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Bierce Ambrose

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Bierce Ambrose

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

Bilbo Baggins

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Bill Adler

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Bill Cain

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Bill Cain

You are a wish to be here wishing yourself.

Billings Josh

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.

Billings Josh

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Billings Josh

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Billings Josh

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Billings Josh

The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper thoughts about their neighbours.

Billings Josh

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Billings Josh

What one fool can do, another can.

Binder Dr. L.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Binstead Arthur

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.


Walking on water wasn't built in a day.


If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Bismarck Otto Von

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Bismarck Otto Von

Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I'm smiling and shaking their hands, I want to kick them.

Bismarck Otto von

Somewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees on the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of employees in the Department

Bismarck Otto von

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Bismarck Otto von

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Bismark Otto von

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Blake William

She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.

Blake William

Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems. The man's young

Blake William

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

Blake William

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.

Blake William

... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Blaylock James P.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Blaylock James P.

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Blaylock James P.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Blaylock James P.

The more the merrier.

Blish James

May you live in uninteresting times.


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.


Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

Bo Napoleon

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Bo Napoleon

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

Bob Cary Grant

There is no sin but ignorance.

Bob Dylan

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Boffo Mister

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Bogart Humphrey

United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of all the patriots of every persuasion. Meanwhil

Bogart Humphrey

I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

Bohr Niels

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Boleyn Anne

Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Bombeck Erma

Everyone is in the best seat.

Bombeck Erma

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

Bon John Dillinger on

Well begun is half done.

Bono Ed De

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Bonzai Buckaroo

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Boorstin Daniel J.

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Boren James H.

When, in 1964, New Hampshire Republican Senator Norris Cotton announced his support of Bary Goldwater in his state's primary election, he was questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal" political views. "Well," expla

Borge Victor

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Bosky Bernadette

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Bosquet Pierre

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

Bossert W.

A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Boswell James

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Bowie David

I have often looked at women and committed adultery in my heart.

Bowles Colin

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Bowles Colin

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Bradbury Ray

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

Bradley F.H.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Bradley General Omar N.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Bramah Ernest

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Brando Marlon

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Brando Marlon

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Brant Sebastian

If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

Braun Wernher von

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Brecher K.

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Brecheux J.

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Brecht Bertold

He who slings mud generally loses ground.

Brecht Bertolt

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Brecht Bertolt

The man who runs may fight again.

Brecht Bertolt

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Brecht Bertolt

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Brecht Bertolt

I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Brecht Bertolt

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Brecht Bertolt

America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.

Brenan Gerald

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Brescia Albertano of

Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year without explanation.

Brian Herbert

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Briggs Austen

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Brilliant Ashleigh

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Brilliant Ashleigh

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

Brilliant Ashleigh

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

Broder David

April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Brodsky Joseph

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Brogan Colm

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Brooks Mel

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Brooks Atkinson

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Brooks Mel

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Brooks Mel

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

Brothers The Blues

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Brothers The Blues

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Broughton Philip

You can't cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.

Brow John Mason

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Brow John Mason

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Brown Governor Jerry

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Brown Rita Mae

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Browning Robert

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

Bruce Lenny

We are upping our standards ... so up yours.

Bruce Lenny

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."

Bruce Lenny

If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.

Bruce Lenny

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Bruce Lenny

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Bruce Lenny

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Bruce Lenny

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Bruce Lenny

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Bruce Lenny

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Bruce Lenny

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Bruce Lenny

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Brunner John

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Bruyere Jean de la

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Bry Yul

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Bryson Lyman

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Buckley Lord

Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Buckley William F.

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Buckley William F.

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Buddha Gotama

American cars are made shoddily... Cars made overseas are far superior.

Bullwinkle Rocky and

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Bullwinkle J. Moose

It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.


The world wants to be deceived.


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Bumstead Dagwood

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Bungei Shunju

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Buren Abigail Van

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Buren Abigail Van

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Burgess Anthony

I am examining you on your fool ideas that no intelligent Christian on earth believes.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Burke James

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Burnham Daniel Hudson

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

Burns George

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Burns George

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Burroughs William

Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps. If I had not known that the Leader would have sc

Burroughs William S.

Young men, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.

Burt Lanier Safford III

The most disagreeable thing that your worst enemy says to your face does not approach what your best friends say behind your back.

Burton Robert

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Burton Sir Richard

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Burton Sir Richard

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Business Risky

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Butler Dave

Therefore it is necessary to learn how not to be good, and to use this knowledge and not use it, according to the necessity of the cause.

Butler Samuel

That's no moon...

Butler Samuel

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Butler Samuel

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Butler Samuel

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Butler Samuel

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Butler Samuel

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Butler Samuel

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Bux Bastian B.

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

Byrnes James F.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Bywater T.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

beach. from the

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

better. much

Random Quote

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w
Tolkien J. R. R.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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