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The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

B Marion Zimmer

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Ba Dave

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

Baber R.E.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Babson Roger

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

Bacall Lauren

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Bach J.S.

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Bach Richard

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Bacharach Burt

Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Bacon Francis

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Bacon Francis

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Bacon Francis

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Bacon Francis

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.

Bacon Francis

We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

Bacon Francis

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Bacon Francis

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Bacon Francis

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Bailey P.J.

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

Baja Dan Jenkins

Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

Baker Russell

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Baker Russell

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in a world in which happiness is al

Baker Russell

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Baker Russell

Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Baldwin James

The truth about a man lies first and foremost in what he hides.

Baldwin Stanley

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."


A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Balfour Arthur

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Balliett Whitney

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Ballou Hosea

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Balzac Honor'e de

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Bandits Time

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Bankhead Tallulah

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Banks Russell

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Banzai Buckaroo

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Barber Milt

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."


Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Barf Biff

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Barker Clive

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Barrie J.M.

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Barris Chuck

The Least Successful Defrosting Device The all-time record here is held by Mr. Peter Rowlands of Lancaster whose lips became frozen to his lock in 1979 while blowing warm air on it. "I got down on my knees to breathe into the lock. Somehow my lips

Barry Dave

America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.

Barry Dave

Talkers are no good doers.

Barry Dave

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Barry Dave

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Barry Dave

I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behin

Barry Dave

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Barry Dave

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Barry Dave

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Barry Dave

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

Barry Dave

What an artist dies with me!

Barry Dave

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Barry Dave

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Barry Dave

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Barry Dave

Never promise more than you can perform.

Barry Dave

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Barry Dave

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Barry Dave

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Barry Dave

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Barry Dave

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Barry Dave

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Barry Dave

The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

Barry Dave

"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Barry Dave

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Barry Dave

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Barry Dave

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Barry Dave

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Barry Dave

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Barry Dave

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Barry Dave

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Barry Dave

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Barry Dave

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Barry Dave

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Barry Dave

What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.

Barry Dave

You can't underestimate the power of fear.

Barry Dave

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Barry Dave

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Barry Dave

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Barry Dave

Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello is fatal to a virgin.

Barry Dave

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Barry Dave

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Barry Dave

Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war, you can only be killed once.

Barry Dave

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.

Barry Dave

Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts.

Barry Dave

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Barry Dave

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Barry Dave

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Barry Dave

Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems. The man's young

Barry Dave

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Barry Dave

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Baruch B.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Battie Bill

Faith is under the left nipple.

Baudelaire Charles

It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat your own family with loving un

Beal Louise

We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.

Bear Greg

Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Beard Charles A.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Beard Peter

Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Beaton Cecil

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Beatty Paul

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Beauvoir Simone de

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

Beck Bob

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Becke Samuel

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.


Satire is tragedy plus time.

Beckett Samuel

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Beckett Samuel

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Beckett Samuel

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Beckman Roman

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Beer Stafford

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Behan Brendan

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Behan Brendan

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Behan Brendan

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Behan Brendan

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Belloc Hilaire

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Bellow Saul

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Ben Franklin

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Benares Camden

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Benares Camden

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Benchley Robert

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Benchley Robert

Never speak ill of yourself, your friends will always say enough on that subject.

Benchley Robert

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Benchley Robert

A is for Apple.


I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Benjamin A.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Bennett Alan

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Bennett Arnold

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Bennett D.

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Bennett James Gordon

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Bennett W.C.

One good turn deserves another.

Bennett W.C.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Bergen Candice

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Berle Milton

They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Berlioz Hector

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Berman Edgar

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Bernanos Georges

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Berner Jeff

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Berquier Edouard

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Berra Yogi

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Berra Yogi

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Berryman John

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Biel Gabriel

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Bierce Ambrose

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Bierce Ambrose

Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then do what's best.

Bierce Ambrose

The farther you go, the less you know.

Bierce Ambrose

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Bierce Ambrose

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Bierce Ambrose

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Bierce Ambrose

Better late than never.

Bierce Ambrose

We should keep the Panama Canal. After all, we stole it fair and square.

Bierce Ambrose

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Bierce Ambrose

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Bilbo Baggins

People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Bill Adler

Harp not on that string.

Bill Cain

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Bill Cain

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Billings Josh

Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Billings Josh

Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or

Billings Josh

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Billings Josh

Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Billings Josh

My father was a saint, I'm not.

Billings Josh

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Billings Josh

Beggars should be no choosers.

Binder Dr. L.

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Binstead Arthur

In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are


The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.


I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained only by the disinclination of others to listen. Reserve is an artificial quality that is developed in most of us as the result of innumerable rebuffs.

Bismarck Otto Von

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Bismarck Otto Von

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Bismarck Otto von

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

Bismarck Otto von

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Bismarck Otto von

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Bismark Otto von

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.


The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Blake William

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Blake William

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Blake William

You can't have your cake and let your neighbor eat it too.

Blake William

"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"

Blake William

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Blaylock James P.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Blaylock James P.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Blaylock James P.

When you jump for joy, beware that no-one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Blaylock James P.

You shouldn't wallow in self-pity. But it's OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.

Blish James

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Bo Napoleon

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Bo Napoleon

If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.

Bob Cary Grant

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Bob Dylan

Too much is just enough.

Boffo Mister

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Bogart Humphrey

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Bogart Humphrey

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Bohr Niels

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Boleyn Anne

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Bombeck Erma

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Bombeck Erma

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Bon John Dillinger on

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Bono Ed De

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

Bonzai Buckaroo

You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

Boorstin Daniel J.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Boren James H.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Borge Victor

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Bosky Bernadette

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Bosquet Pierre

There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Bossert W.

You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower, start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.

Boswell James

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Bowie David

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Bowles Colin

If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

Bowles Colin

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

Bradbury Ray

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Bradley F.H.

I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.

Bradley General Omar N.

The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Bramah Ernest

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.

Brando Marlon

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Brando Marlon

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

Brant Sebastian

One good turn asketh another.

Braun Wernher von

We're only in it for the volume.

Brecher K.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Brecheux J.

One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious.

Brecht Bertold

One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they need no answer.

Brecht Bertolt

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Brecht Bertolt

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Brecht Bertolt

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Brecht Bertolt

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Brecht Bertolt

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

Brecht Bertolt

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Brecht Bertolt

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Brenan Gerald

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Brescia Albertano of

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Brian Herbert

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.

Briggs Austen

Necessity hath no law.

Brilliant Ashleigh

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Brilliant Ashleigh

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Brilliant Ashleigh

I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.

Brilliant Ashleigh

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Brilliant Ashleigh

There is no proverb that is not true.

Broder David

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

Brodsky Joseph

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Brogan Colm

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

Brooks Mel

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Brooks Atkinson

The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.

Brooks Mel

The perfect friend sees the best in you

Brooks Mel

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Brothers The Blues

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Brothers The Blues

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Broughton Philip

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

Brow John Mason

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

Brow John Mason

Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.

Brown Governor Jerry

America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesman with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

Brown Rita Mae

I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Browning Robert

I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.

Bruce Lenny

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Bruce Lenny

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Bruce Lenny

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Bruce Lenny

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Bruce Lenny

"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them."

Bruce Lenny

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Bruce Lenny

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Bruce Lenny

Come home America.

Bruce Lenny

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Bruce Lenny

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Bruce Lenny

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Brunner John

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Bruyere Jean de la

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Bry Yul

It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...

Bryson Lyman

I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Buckley Lord

"Oh, yes. The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you've got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You've got to stop. You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home. I think th

Buckley William F.

So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least we exist.

Buckley William F.

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Buddha Gotama

I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Bullwinkle Rocky and

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Bullwinkle J. Moose

They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.


Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.


Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.


All phone calls are obscene.

Bumstead Dagwood

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Bungei Shunju

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Buren Abigail Van

The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.

Buren Abigail Van

We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual. We do everything we can to butter him up. We give him a name, assure him that he has certain inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and when he dies we give

Burgess Anthony

If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.

Burke James

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Burnham Daniel Hudson

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Burns George

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Burns George

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Burroughs William

We cannot put the face of a person on a stamp unless said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore, is that you drop dead.

Burroughs William S.

If you do not wish a man to do a thing, you had better get him to talk about it; for the more men talk, the more likely they are to do nothing else.

Burt Lanier Safford III

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Burton Robert

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Burton Sir Richard

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Burton Sir Richard

I have nothing but utter contempt for the courts of this land.

Business Risky

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Butler Dave

Imagine me going around with a pot belly. It would mean political ruin.

Butler Samuel

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Butler Samuel

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Butler Samuel

Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

Butler Samuel

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.

Butler Samuel

Necessity has no law.

Butler Samuel

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Butler Samuel

The white race is the cancer of history.

Bux Bastian B.

Byrnes James F.

Oh this age! How tasteless and ill-bred it is.

Bywater T.

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

beach. from the

Since we're all here, we must not be all there.

better. much

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Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?
Pusey Nathan

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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