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Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

D Vine


If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

D'Hericault Charles


You get what you pay for.

Dada Idi Amin


What an artist dies with me!

Dada Idi Amin


I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

Dagny Taggart


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Daley Mayor


That government is best which governs least.

Daley Mayor


Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Daley Richard


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Dali Salvador


It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Dam Andries van


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Dane Franklin K.


The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

Dangerfield Rodney


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Danton G.J.


What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Darling Charles


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Darrow Clarence


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Darrow Clarence


The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Darrow Clarence


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Darrow Clarence


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Darrow Clarence


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Darrow Clarence


Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Darwin Charles


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Darwin Porter


While there's life, there's hope.

Dass Baba Ram


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Dass Baba Ram


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Dave


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Dave Barry


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

David Bodanis


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

David Niven


All is well that ends well.

Davis Evan


The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Davis Evan


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Davis Miles


The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Davisson Richard


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Day Clarence


When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

DeBalzac Honore


It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

DeGaulle Charles


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Dead The Grateful


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Dean James


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Dekker Thomas


Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Demosthenes


Nothing recedes like success.

Dennett Daniel


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Derek Bok


The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Descart


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Descartes Rene


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Dewar Lord Thomas


If it takes a bloodbath, lets get it over with. No more appeasement.

Dewar Lord Thomas


Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!

Dewar Lord Thomas Rober


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Dewey John


Odets, where is thy sting?

Dick Philip K.


Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

Dickens Charles


"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception."

Dickens Charles


If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Dickens Charles


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Dickey James


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Dickson Paul


There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Dictionary Webster's Unafraid


If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

Dictum Schumacher's


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Diefenbaker John


The thought of being President frightens me and I do not think I want the job.

Dillinger John


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Diogenes


Out of sight is out of mind.

Disney Walt


If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

Disney Walt


Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Disra Benjamin


IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Disrael Benjamin


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Disraeli Benjamin


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Disraeli Benjamin


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Disraeli Benjamin


The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Disraeli Benjamin


In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Disraeli Benjamin


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Disraeli Benjamin


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Dobbs Waldo D.R.


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Dobson Austin


Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Doctor The


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Dogtender The Mad


What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue but fitness. The weak and the

Dolph Sharp


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Dolph Sharp


We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Donald N. Smith president


Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Donatus Aelius


[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Donleavy J.P.


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Dooley Mr.


It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Dooley Mr.


Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Dostoyevski F.


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Doug Larson


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Douglas Lord Alfred


If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Douglas Norman


Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or

Douglas Adams


Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Douglass Frederick


One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Douglass Frederick


Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan


In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Dr. Laurence J. Peter


The Crown is full of it!

Dreshfield Jerry


Harp not on that string.

Droz Gustave


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Drucker Peter


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Dudley Riggs


There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

Duggan B.


"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Duke Raoul


All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second.

Dumas


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Dumas Alexander


An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.

Dumas Alexandre


Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Dunne Finley Peter


When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Durant Will


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Durocher Leo


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Dwight Walter


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Dwight Van de Vate


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Dye W.H. Auden


For a light heart lives long.

Dyer


The man who runs may fight again.

Dyke Henry Van


The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

Dykstra


Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Dylan Bob


Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Dylan Bob


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Dylan Bob


I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Dyson Freeman


Fear is the greatest salesman.

de Dave Johnson on


I will make you shorter by the head.

distinctly and quite





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We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto
Cousins Norman

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