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Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Eban Abba

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Eddie Cochran

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Edison Thomas Alva

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Edman Irwin

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Edward A. Murphy

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Edwards-Duff Ann

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Edwin Meese

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Efrain Rios Montt

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Einstein Albert

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Einstein Albert

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Einstein Albert

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Einstein Albert

A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Einstein Albert

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Einstein Albert

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Einstein Albert

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Einstein Albert

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Einstein Albert

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Einstein. A.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Eisenhower Dwight

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Eisenhower Dwight D.

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Eisenhower Dwight D.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Eisenhower Dwight D.

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Eisenhower Dwight D.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Eisenhower Dwight

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Elaine Stewart

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Elder Pliny the

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Eliot George

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Eliot George

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Eliot T.S.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Eliot T.S.

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Eliot T.S.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Eliot T.Sessay

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Elizabeth I

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Elizabeth John Greenway

What an artist dies with me!


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Ellis Havelock

We're only in it for the volume.

Ellis Havelock

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Ellis Nancy

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Ellison Harlan

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Ellison Harlan

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Elman Jeff

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Emers Ralph Waldo

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Emers Ralph Waldo

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Emerson Ralph Waldo

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Emerson Ralph Waldo

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Emmons Marguerite

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Englan Mark Twain on New

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Ennius Quintus

There's no justice in this world.

Ennius Quintus

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Enou R.A. Heinlein

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Enoug Lazarus Long

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Ephron Nora

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Epstein M.D.

There must be more to life than having everything.

Erasmus Desiderius

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Erica Jong

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Erlich Paul

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Errol Flynn

Forgive and forget.

Ertz Susan

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.


To teach is to learn twice.

Escher M.C.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Esquire Jun

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Estard Townsperson in

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Estes James

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Estienne Henri

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.


The man who runs may fight again.


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Evans Bergan

Let your conscience be your guide.

Examiner Watchman

Random Quote

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Keillor Garrison

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