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It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Fadiman Clifton


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Fadiman Clifton


It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Fadiman Clifton


In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Fadiman Clifton


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Far Kilgore Trout


When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Faulkner William


Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Faulkner William


"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Fawcett-Majors Farrah


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Fee Elizabeth


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Feibleman James


Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Feiffer J.


In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Feiffer J.


A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Feirstein Bruce


God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Fenelon Francois


Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

Feodor Dostoevsky


San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Ferdinand Marechal Foch


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Fiebig Jim


Go ahead... make my day.

Fields W.C.


I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Fields W.C.


It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

Fields W.C.


Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Fields W.C.


In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Finley J.H.


Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

Finley Peter Dunne


So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

Fisher John


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Fishhawk Prof. Cosmo


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Fitch G.


It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Fitzgera F. Scott


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Fitzgera F. Scott


What fools these mortals be.

Fitzgerald F. Scott


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Flagg Reuben


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Flaubert


"It don't matter, Sail, ... Could be worse. The fam'ly might be donatin' the proceeds to the Cath'lic Church, or the Mormons or somethin'. One cult's the same another."

Florio John


After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

Floyd Mengot


O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Flynn Errol


He who slings mud generally loses ground.

Foote Samuel


The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Ford Henry


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Foreman John


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Forster E.M.


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Forward R.L.


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Fosdick Harry Emerson


You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Fowler Gene


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Foxx Redd


The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.

Frampton Peter


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Fran Lebowitz


I'll burn my books.

Fran Lebowitz


An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Fran Lebowitz


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

France Anatole


Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

France Anatole


"They make a desert and call it peace."

France Anatole


The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

France Anatole


Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

France Anatole


We are upping our standards ... so up yours.

France Anatole


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

France Anatole


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

France Anatole


Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organisation of hatreds.

Franci KFOG San


Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Francis Brendan


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Francis


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Francis


The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Francisc Colin Bowles San


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Frank Ann


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Frank Costello


I do desire we may be better strangers.

Frank Costello


What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Frank Herbert


Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name.

Frank Herbert


If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Frank Herbert


Turn the other cheek.

Frank Herbert


I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Franklin B.


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Franklin B.


War is like love, it always finds a way.

Franklin B.


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Franklin B.


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Franklin B.


We have gone on piling weapon upon weapon, missile upon missile, new levels of destructiveness upon old ones. We have done this helplessly, almost involuntarily: like the victims of some sort of hypnotism, like men in a dream, like lemmings heading

Franklin B.


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Franklin Ben


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Franklin Ben


Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Franklin Ben


Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Franklin Benjamin


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Franklin Benjamin


"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Franklin Benjamin


There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Franklin Benjamin


Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Franklin Benjamin


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Franklin Benjamin


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Franklin Benjamin


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Franklin Benjamin


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Franklin Benjamin


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Franklin Benjamin


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Fratianno


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Fratianno


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Fratianno


With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter.

Fred Allen


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Freud Sigmund


If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

Freud Sigmund


"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Friedman Milton


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Friendman Milton


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Friendman Milton


"It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies."

Fright Nero Wolfe


There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Fringe Beyond the


The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Fringe Beyond the


Pilfering Treasury property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are ruthless in punishing little thieves.

Fritzlar Herbert von


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Frog Kermit the


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Fromme Squeaky


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Frost Robert


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Frost Robert


You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Frost Robert


Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Frost Robert


The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Frost Robert


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Frost Robert


It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

Frost Robert


I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Fry Christopher


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Fuldheim Dorothy


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Fuller Buckminster


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Fuller Buckminster


Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Fuller R. Buckminster


BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Fuller R. Buckminster


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Fylstra Dan





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A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
Shoaff Edgar A.

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