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Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

G Gen.

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

G. Gordon Liddy's

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

G. Roy

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

G. Roy

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Galbraith J.K.

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Galbraith J.K.

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Galbraith John Kenneth

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Galbraith John Kenneth

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Galbraith John Kenneth

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Galilei Galileo

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.


Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Gallagher Eugene P.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Gallaher M.

Men will fuck mud.

Gallaher M.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Galsworthy John

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Gandhi Indira

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Gandhi Indira

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Gandhi Mahatma

Events are not affected, they develop.

Gandhi Mahatma

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Gandhi Mahatma

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Gandhi Mahatma

Never promise more than you can perform.

Garbers J.

It is like saying that for the cause of peace, God and the Devil will have a high-level meeting.


It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Garrison William Lloyd

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Garrison Keillor

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Gary Gilmore

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Gary Trudeau

If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.

Gasset Jos'e Ortega Y

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Gauguin Paul

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Gauguin Paul

... indifference is a militant thing ... when it goes away it leaves smoking ruins, where lie citizens bayonetted through the throat. It is not a children's pastime like mere highway robbery.

Gaulle Charles de

Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Gaulle Charles de

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Gaultier Jules de

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.


I knew her before she was a virgin.

Gauvreay Emile Henry

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Gavin General James

It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short

Geis R.

A is for Apple.

Geis R.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Geis R.

The man who runs may fight again.

Gene Kirkwood

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Genter Quentin

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.


All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

George F. Baer railroad

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

George Kennan

Facts are the enemy of truth.

George Saunder

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

George Seldes

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

Gerald Weinberg

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Gerould Katharine Fullerton

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Gerrold David


Gerrold David

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Gess Bene

Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

Getty J. Paul

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Getty J.P.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Giancana Sam

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Giancana Sam e

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Gibbon Edward

Big book, big bore.

Gibbon Edward

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Gibbons Edward

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Gibran Kahlil

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Gibran Kahlil

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

Gibran Kahlil

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Gibson J.J.

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Giddens Gary

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Gilbert W.S.

There's no justice in this world.

Gillette George Francis

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Gilliam E.A.

Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

Ginsberg Allen

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Ginsberg Allen

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Giraudoux Jean

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Giraudoux Jean

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Glymour. C.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Gnaeus Pompeius

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Gobeil Madeleine

Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Godwin Gail

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Goebbels Josef

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Goering Hermann

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Goering Hermann

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.


Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.


Let me take you a button-hole lower.


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.


The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.


I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.


Small things make base men proud.

Goethe Johann Wolfgang von

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Goethe Johann van

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.

Gold Vic

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Gold Barry

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Goldfinger Auric

Rule the Empire through force.

Goldthwait Bobcat

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Goldwater Barry

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Goldwater Barry

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Goldwater Sen. Barry

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Goldwater Senator Barry

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Goldwater Barry

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Goldwater Senator Barry

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Goldwyn Samuel

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Goldwyn Samuel

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Goldwyn Samuel

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Gondorf Henry

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Good Glynda the

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Goodman Saul

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Gordon George

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Gorin Amy

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Gorin Amy

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Gould Jay

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Gould Jay

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Goulden Joseph C.

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Goulden Joseph C.

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Goulden Joseph C.

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Grant Cary

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Grant Cary

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

Gravy Wavy

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

Gregory Dick

The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.

Greville Fulke

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Grogan Emmett

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Groucho Marx

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Guaspari David

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Guido Mark

I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.


It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles.


Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Gusenberg Frank

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Guthrie Arlo

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Guzik Jake

Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Guzman Adolfo

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Gween Actor Edmond

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Gyles Brandreth

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