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If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

G Gen.


The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing and humiliating reality.

G. Gordon Liddy's


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

G. Roy


Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

G. Roy


Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Galbraith J.K.


Art is a jealous mistress.

Galbraith J.K.


America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Galbraith John Kenneth


The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Galbraith John Kenneth


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Galbraith John Kenneth


People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

Galilei Galileo


"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Gallagher


"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."

Gallagher Eugene P.


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Gallaher M.


What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Gallaher M.


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Galsworthy John


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Game


You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Gandhi


He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.

Gandhi Indira


Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage.

Gandhi Indira


"Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."

Gandhi Mahatma


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Gandhi Mahatma


Serfs up!

Gandhi Mahatma


Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Gandhi Mahatma


The best you get is an even break.

Garbers J.


With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a half.

Garfield


To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Garrison William Lloyd


I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

Garrison Keillor


[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Gary Gilmore


I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.

Gary Trudeau


Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Gasset Jos'e Ortega Y


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Gauguin Paul


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Gauguin Paul


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Gaulle Charles de


It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.

Gaulle Charles de


The goys have proven the following theorem...

Gaultier Jules de


True leadership is the art of changing a group from what it is to what it ought to be.

Gauss


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Gauvreay Emile Henry


You can't cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.

Gavin General James


You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

Geis R.


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Geis R.


Sometimes when you look into his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Geis R.


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Gene Kirkwood


I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.

Genter Quentin


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

George


He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

George F. Baer railroad


If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.

George Kennan


It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.

George Saunder


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

George Seldes


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Gerald Weinberg


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Gerould Katharine Fullerton


I am looking for a honest man.

Gerrold David


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Gerrold David


There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Gess Bene


The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.

Getty J. Paul


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Getty J.P.


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Giancana Sam


Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.

Giancana Sam e


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Gibbon Edward


WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Gibbon Edward


If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down. If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down. If the bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will exceed all expectations.

Gibbons Edward


Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Gibran Kahlil


Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Gibran Kahlil


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Gibran Kahlil


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Gibson J.J.


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Giddens Gary


I'll defend to the death your right to say that, but I never said I'd listen to it!

Gilbert W.S.


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Gillette George Francis


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Gilliam E.A.


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Ginsberg Allen


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Ginsberg Allen


Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Giraudoux Jean


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Giraudoux Jean


If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Glymour. C.


Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Gnaeus Pompeius


Don't take a nickel, just hand them your business card.

Gobeil Madeleine


I will follow the good side right to the fire, but not into it if I can help it.

Godwin Gail


Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Goebbels Josef


Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

Goering Hermann


Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Goering Hermann


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Goethe


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Goethe


I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Goethe


We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Goethe


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Goethe


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Goethe


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Goethe


Something better... 1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? 2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow. 3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something l

Goethe Johann Wolfgang von


Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they are another's.

Goethe Johann van


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Gold Vic


All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second.

Gold Barry


All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Goldenstern


The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Goldfinger Auric


Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

Goldthwait Bobcat


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Goldwater Barry


Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Goldwater Barry


Think sideways!

Goldwater Sen. Barry


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Goldwater Senator Barry


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Goldwater Barry


Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

Goldwater Senator Barry


God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Goldwyn Samuel


The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been more like fourteen.

Goldwyn Samuel


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Goldwyn Samuel


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Gondorf Henry


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Good Glynda the


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Goodman Saul


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

Gordon George


One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious.

Gorin Amy


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Gorin Amy


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Gould Jay


The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Gould Jay


Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.

Goulden Joseph C.


I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.

Goulden Joseph C.


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Goulden Joseph C.


I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Grant Cary


The Crown is full of it!

Grant Cary


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Gravy Wavy


Man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it.

Gregory Dick


In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.

Greville Fulke


Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Grogan Emmett


What one fool can do, another can.

Groucho Marx


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Grover


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Guaspari David


It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and then.

Guido Mark


The more the merrier.

Guindon


Events are not affected, they develop.

Guindon


Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Guiness


Better late than never.

Guiness


"Nuclear war would really set back cable."

Gusenberg Frank


You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

Guthrie Arlo


The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Guzik Jake


I realize that the MX missile is none of our concern. I realize that the whole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we can be free to concern ourselves wi

Guzman Adolfo


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Gween Actor Edmond


You can never do just one thing.

Gyles Brandreth





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A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.
Mizner Wilson

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