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How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

H.G. Wells

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Ha Nate

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Hagen Walter

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Hague Frank

You tread upon my patience.

Hahn Tim

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Haig Alexander

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Haldeman H.R.

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Half-Constru Racter

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Hallock Addison H.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Halsey Admiral William

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Hamilton Alexander

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Hamilton Alexander

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Hamilton Edith

A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Hamlet Dick

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Hammarskjold Dag

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Hampton Christopher

Who's scruffy-looking?

Handley Jack

How should they answer?


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Hardin Salvor

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Harding Warren G.

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Harper Lucille S.

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Harper Roy

Honesty's the best policy.

Harris Sidney

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

Harris Sydney

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Harris Sydney J.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Harris Sydney J.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Harris Sydney J.

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Harris Sydney J.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Harrold Mark

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Harry Dirty

It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Harry Dirty

No evil can happen to a good man.

Hart Johnny

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?


Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Haskins Ernest

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Hawes J.

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Hawley Cameron

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Hayakawa S.I.

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Hazlitt William

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Heidi Hartmann

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.


No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Heinlein R.A.

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Heinlein Robert

What fools these mortals be.

Heinlein Robert

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Heller Joseph

General notions are generally wrong.

Heller Robert

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Heller Joseph

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Heller Joseph

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Heller Joseph

Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.

Heller Joseph

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Hellman Lillian

I think we're in trouble.

Hemingway Ernest

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Hemingway Ernest

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Hemingway Peter Applebome

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Henrik Ibsen

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Henry Durant

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Henry James

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Henry Robert

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Herbert A.P.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Herbert Frank

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Herbert Frank

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Herbert Hoover

It is better to live rich than to die rich.


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Heroi Stephen Pile

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Heroi Stephen Pile

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Heroi Stephen Pile

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Heroi Stephen Pile

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Herold Don

You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Heywood John

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Heywood John

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Heywood John

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Heywood John

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Heywood John

If God is One, what is bad?

Heywood John

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Heywood John

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Heywood John

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Heywood John

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Heywood John

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Heywood John

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Heywood John

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Heywood John

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Heywood John

The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been more like fourteen.

Heywood John

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Heywood John

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Hicks D.J.

Real wealth can only increase.

Hickson W.E.

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Hightower Jim

The better part of valor is discretion.

Hildebrand Joel

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Hinckley John

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Hindu Code


Hinojosa Daniel

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Hitler Adolf

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Hitler Adolf

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Hitler Adolf

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Hitler Adolf

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Hitler Adolf

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Hitler Adolf

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Hitler Adolph

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Hitler Adolph

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Hitler Adolph

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Hobbs Calvin and

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Hoest Bill

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Hoffer Eric

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Hoffer Eric

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Hoffman A.

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Hoffman Abbie

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Holla Xaviera

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Holmes Sherlock

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Holmes Sherlock

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Holyoke Edward

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Holzer Jenny

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Honda. Harpoon a

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Hook Sidney

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Hoover Herbert

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Hoover Herbert

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Hoover J. Edgar

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Hoover J. Edgar

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Hoover J. Edgar

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Hoover J. Edgar

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Hope A.

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Hope Bob

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Hope Bob

When the sun shineth, make hay.

Hoppe Art

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Hopper Grace Murray

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Hopper Grace Murray

Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.


Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.


Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Horner M.

Small is beautiful.

Horning Jim

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Houghton Blair

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Houseman A.E.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Howe E.W.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Howe Edgar W.

Think sideways!

Howe Irving

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Howe Nathaniel

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Hubbard Elbert

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Hubbard Elbert

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Hubbard Elbert

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Hubbard Elbert

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Hubbard Elbert

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Hubbard Elbert

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Hubbard F.M.

May you live in uninteresting times.

Hubbard Frank

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Hubbard Frank

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Hubbard Kim

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Hubbard Kim

A snake lurks in the grass.

Hubbard Kim

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Hubbard Kin

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Hubbard Kin

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Hubbard L. Ron

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Hubbard L. Ron

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Hudson Henry

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Hugo Victor

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Hugo Victor

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Hugo Victor

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Hugo Victor

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Humphrey Hubert

Your wig steers the gig.

Hunter S. Thompson

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Huntingd Collis P.

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Hurley Jack

"I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?"

Huron Port

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Hutchins Robert M.

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Huxley Aldous

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Huxley Aldous

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

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A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
Prochnow Herbert

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