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Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

H.G. Wells

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Ha Nate

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Hagen Walter

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Hague Frank

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Hahn Tim

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Haig Alexander

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Haldeman H.R.

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Half-Constru Racter

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Hallock Addison H.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Halsey Admiral William

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Hamilton Alexander

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Hamilton Alexander

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Hamilton Edith

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Hamlet Dick

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Hammarskjold Dag

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Hampton Christopher

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Handley Jack

A witty saying proves nothing.


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Hardin Salvor

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Harding Warren G.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Harper Lucille S.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Harper Roy

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Harris Sidney

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Harris Sydney

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Harris Sydney J.

A snake lurks in the grass.

Harris Sydney J.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Harris Sydney J.

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Harris Sydney J.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Harrold Mark

When in doubt, use brute force.

Harry Dirty

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Harry Dirty

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Hart Johnny

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Haskins Ernest

Don't guess

Hawes J.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Hawley Cameron

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hayakawa S.I.

Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Hazlitt William

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Heidi Hartmann

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Heinlein R.A.

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Heinlein Robert

Piece of cake!

Heinlein Robert

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Heller Joseph

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Heller Robert

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Heller Joseph

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Heller Joseph

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Heller Joseph

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Heller Joseph

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Hellman Lillian

Language is a virus from another planet.

Hemingway Ernest

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Hemingway Ernest

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Hemingway Peter Applebome

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Henrik Ibsen

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Henry Durant

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Henry James

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Henry Robert

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Herbert A.P.

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Herbert Frank

Let your conscience be your guide.

Herbert Frank

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Herbert Hoover

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Heroi Stephen Pile

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Heroi Stephen Pile

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Heroi Stephen Pile

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Heroi Stephen Pile

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Herold Don

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Heywood John

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Heywood John

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Heywood John

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Heywood John

Set the cart before the horse.

Heywood John

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Heywood John

"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Heywood John

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Heywood John

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Heywood John

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Heywood John

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Heywood John

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Heywood John

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Heywood John

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Heywood John

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Heywood John

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Heywood John

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Hicks D.J.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Hickson W.E.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Hightower Jim

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Hildebrand Joel

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Hinckley John

Nothing recedes like success.

Hindu Code

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Hinojosa Daniel

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Hitler Adolf

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Hitler Adolf

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Hitler Adolf

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Hitler Adolf

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Hitler Adolf

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Hitler Adolf

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Hitler Adolph

Who's scruffy-looking?

Hitler Adolph

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Hitler Adolph

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Hobbs Calvin and

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Charity begins at home.

Hoest Bill

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Hoffer Eric

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Hoffer Eric

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Hoffman A.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Hoffman Abbie

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Holla Xaviera

Well begun is half done.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

If there is no wind, row.

Holmes Sherlock

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Holmes Sherlock

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Holyoke Edward

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Holzer Jenny

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.


The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Honda. Harpoon a

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Hook Sidney

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Hoover Herbert

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Hoover Herbert

One good turn deserves another.

Hoover J. Edgar

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Hoover J. Edgar

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Hoover J. Edgar

Imagine what we can imagine!

Hoover J. Edgar

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

Hope A.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Hope Bob

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Hope Bob

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Hoppe Art

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Hopper Grace Murray

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Hopper Grace Murray

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.


"Plaese porrf raed."

Horner M.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Horning Jim

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Houghton Blair

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Houseman A.E.

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Howe E.W.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Howe Edgar W.

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Howe Irving

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Howe Nathaniel

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Hubbard Elbert

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Hubbard Elbert

Nice guys finish last.

Hubbard Elbert

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Hubbard Elbert

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Hubbard Elbert

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Hubbard Elbert

I will make you shorter by the head.

Hubbard F.M.

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Hubbard Frank

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Hubbard Frank

No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Hubbard Kim

We are what we pretend to be.

Hubbard Kim

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Hubbard Kim

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Hubbard Kin

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Hubbard Kin

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Hubbard L. Ron

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Hubbard L. Ron

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Hudson Henry

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Hugo Victor

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Hugo Victor

There is no sin but ignorance.

Hugo Victor

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Hugo Victor

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Humphrey Hubert

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Hunter S. Thompson

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Huntingd Collis P.

Things are not always what they seem.

Hurley Jack

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Huron Port

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Hutchins Robert M.

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Huxley Aldous

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Huxley Aldous

There must be more to life than having everything.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

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Envy is a pain of mind that successful men cause their neighbors.

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