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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

H.G. Wells

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Ha Nate

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Hagen Walter

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Hague Frank

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Hahn Tim

The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Haig Alexander

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Haldeman H.R.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Half-Constru Racter

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Hallock Addison H.

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Halsey Admiral William

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Hamilton Alexander

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Hamilton Alexander

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Hamilton Edith

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Hamlet Dick

But you shall not escape my iambics.

Hammarskjold Dag

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Hampton Christopher

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Handley Jack

What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Hardin Salvor

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Harding Warren G.

The Crown is full of it!

Harper Lucille S.

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Harper Roy

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Harris Sidney

It is better to have loved and lost

Harris Sydney

"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Harris Sydney J.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Harris Sydney J.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Harris Sydney J.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Harris Sydney J.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Harrold Mark

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Harry Dirty

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Harry Dirty

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Hart Johnny

The fact that it works is immaterial.


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Haskins Ernest

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Hawes J.

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?


Another day, another dollar.

Hawley Cameron

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Hayakawa S.I.

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Hazlitt William

Heidi Hartmann

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Heinlein R.A.

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Heinlein Robert

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Heinlein Robert

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Heller Joseph

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Heller Robert

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Heller Joseph

Rule the Empire through force.

Heller Joseph

A full belly makes a dull brain.

Heller Joseph

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Heller Joseph

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Hellman Lillian

Think sideways!

Hemingway Ernest

Nothing endures but change.

Hemingway Ernest

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Hemingway Peter Applebome

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Henrik Ibsen

But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Henry Durant

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Henry James

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Henry Robert

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.


BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Herbert A.P.

Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Herbert Frank

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Herbert Frank

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Herbert Hoover

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.


The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.


The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.


Too much of everything is just enough.


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Heroi Stephen Pile

You can never do just one thing.

Heroi Stephen Pile

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Heroi Stephen Pile

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Herold Don

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Heywood John

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Heywood John

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Heywood John

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Heywood John

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Heywood John

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Heywood John

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Heywood John

Well begun is half done.

Heywood John

The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Heywood John

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Heywood John

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Heywood John

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Heywood John

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Heywood John

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Heywood John

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Heywood John

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Heywood John

In charity there is no excess.

Hicks D.J.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Hickson W.E.

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Hightower Jim

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Hildebrand Joel

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Hinckley John

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Hindu Code

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Hinojosa Daniel

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Hitler Adolf

Many hands make light work.

Hitler Adolf

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Hitler Adolf

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Hitler Adolf

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Hitler Adolf

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Hitler Adolf

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Hitler Adolph

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Hitler Adolph

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Hitler Adolph

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Hobbs Calvin and

People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Hoest Bill

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Hoffer Eric

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Hoffer Eric

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Hoffman A.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Hoffman Abbie

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Holla Xaviera

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Honesty's the best policy.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Holmes Sherlock

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Holmes Sherlock

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Holyoke Edward

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Holzer Jenny

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.


Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.


It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Honda. Harpoon a

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Hook Sidney

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Hoover Herbert

There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

Hoover Herbert

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Hoover J. Edgar

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Hoover J. Edgar

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Hoover J. Edgar

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Hoover J. Edgar

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Hope A.

For courage mounteth with occasion.

Hope Bob

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Hope Bob

Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Hoppe Art

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Hopper Grace Murray

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Hopper Grace Murray

"There is a God, but He drinks"


Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Horner M.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Horning Jim

The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

Houghton Blair

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Houseman A.E.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Howe E.W.

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Howe Edgar W.

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Howe Irving

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Howe Nathaniel

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Hubbard Elbert

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Hubbard Elbert

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Hubbard Elbert

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Hubbard Elbert

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Hubbard Elbert

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Hubbard Elbert

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Hubbard F.M.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Hubbard Frank

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Hubbard Frank

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Hubbard Kim

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Hubbard Kim

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Hubbard Kim

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Hubbard Kin

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Hubbard Kin

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Hubbard L. Ron

Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Hubbard L. Ron

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Hudson Henry

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Hugo Victor

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Hugo Victor

While there's life, there's hope.

Hugo Victor

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Hugo Victor

If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

Humphrey Hubert

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Hunter S. Thompson

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Huntingd Collis P.


Hurley Jack

Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Huron Port

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Hutchins Robert M.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Huxley Aldous

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Huxley Aldous

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

Random Quote

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap
Pile Stephen

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