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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

H.G. Wells


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Ha Nate


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Hagen Walter


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Hague Frank


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Hahn Tim


The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Haig Alexander


The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Haldeman H.R.


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Half-Constru Racter


Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Hallock Addison H.


The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Halsey Admiral William


The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Hamilton Alexander


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Hamilton Alexander


It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Hamilton Edith


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Hamlet Dick


But you shall not escape my iambics.

Hammarskjold Dag


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Hampton Christopher


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Handley Jack


What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

Hardin


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Hardin Salvor


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Harding Warren G.


The Crown is full of it!

Harper Lucille S.


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Harper Roy


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Harris Sidney


It is better to have loved and lost

Harris Sydney


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Harris Sydney J.


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Harris Sydney J.


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Harris Sydney J.


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Harris Sydney J.


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Harrison


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Harrold Mark


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Harry Dirty


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Harry Dirty


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Hart Johnny


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Hartm


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Haskins Ernest


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Hawes J.


Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Hawkwind


Another day, another dollar.

Hawley Cameron


If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Hayakawa S.I.


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Hazlitt William


Heidi Hartmann


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Heine


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Heinlein R.A.


In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Heinlein Robert


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Heinlein Robert


It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Heller Joseph


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Heller Robert


When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Heller Joseph


Rule the Empire through force.

Heller Joseph


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Heller Joseph


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Heller Joseph


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Hellman Lillian


Think sideways!

Hemingway Ernest


Nothing endures but change.

Hemingway Ernest


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Hemingway Peter Applebome


One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Henrik Ibsen


But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Henry Durant


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Henry James


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Henry Robert


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Heraclitus


BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Herbert A.P.


Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Herbert Frank


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Herbert Frank


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Herbert Hoover


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Herodotus


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Herodotus


The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Herodotus


The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Herodotus


Too much of everything is just enough.

Herodotus


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Heroi Stephen Pile


You can never do just one thing.

Heroi Stephen Pile


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Heroi Stephen Pile


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Herold Don


I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Heywood John


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Heywood John


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Heywood John


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Heywood John


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Heywood John


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Heywood John


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Heywood John


Well begun is half done.

Heywood John


The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Heywood John


I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Heywood John


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Heywood John


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Heywood John


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Heywood John


Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Heywood John


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Heywood John


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Heywood John


In charity there is no excess.

Hicks D.J.


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Hickson W.E.


Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Hightower Jim


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Hildebrand Joel


The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Hinckley John


Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Hindu Code


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Hinojosa Daniel


The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Hippocrates


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Hitler Adolf


Many hands make light work.

Hitler Adolf


You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Hitler Adolf


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Hitler Adolf


When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Hitler Adolf


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Hitler Adolf


The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Hitler Adolph


In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Hitler Adolph


You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Hitler Adolph


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Hobbs Calvin and


People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Hoest Bill


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Hoffer Eric


I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Hoffer Eric


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Hoffman A.


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Hoffman Abbie


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Holla Xaviera


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Honesty's the best policy.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Holmes Sherlock


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Holmes Sherlock


Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Holyoke Edward


When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Holzer Jenny


If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Homer


Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

Homer


It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Honda. Harpoon a


A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Hook Sidney


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Hoover Herbert


There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

Hoover Herbert


The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Hoover J. Edgar


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Hoover J. Edgar


If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Hoover J. Edgar


People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Hoover J. Edgar


All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Hope A.


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Hope Bob


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Hope Bob


Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Hoppe Art


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Hopper Grace Murray


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Hopper Grace Murray


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Horace


Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Horace


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Horace


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Horner M.


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Horning Jim


The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

Houghton Blair


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Houseman A.E.


It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Howe E.W.


All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Howe Edgar W.


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Howe Irving


Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Howe Nathaniel


Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Hubbard Elbert


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Hubbard Elbert


It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Hubbard Elbert


Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Hubbard Elbert


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Hubbard Elbert


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Hubbard Elbert


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Hubbard F.M.


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Hubbard Frank


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Hubbard Frank


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Hubbard Kim


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Hubbard Kim


This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Hubbard Kim


Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Hubbard Kin


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Hubbard Kin


The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Hubbard L. Ron


Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Hubbard L. Ron


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Hudson Henry


The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Hugo Victor


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Hugo Victor


While there's life, there's hope.

Hugo Victor


The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Hugo Victor


If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

Humphrey Hubert


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Hunter S. Thompson


The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Huntingd Collis P.


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Hurley Jack


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Huron Port


Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Hutchins Robert M.


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Huxley Aldous


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Huxley Aldous


You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you





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The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap
Pile Stephen

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