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Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

H.G. Wells


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Ha Nate


So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Hagen Walter


The better part of valor is discretion.

Hague Frank


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Hahn Tim


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Haig Alexander


It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

Haldeman H.R.


Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Half-Constru Racter


Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Hallock Addison H.


Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Halsey Admiral William


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Hamilton Alexander


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Hamilton Alexander


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Hamilton Edith


What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Hamlet Dick


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Hammarskjold Dag


A man's house is his castle.

Hampton Christopher


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Handley Jack


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Hardin


She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Hardin Salvor


Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Harding Warren G.


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Harper Lucille S.


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Harper Roy


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Harris Sidney


To generalize is to be an idiot.

Harris Sydney


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Harris Sydney J.


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Harris Sydney J.


Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Harris Sydney J.


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Harris Sydney J.


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Harrison


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Harrold Mark


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Harry Dirty


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Harry Dirty


The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Hart Johnny


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Hartm


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Haskins Ernest


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Hawes J.


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Hawkwind


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Hawley Cameron


I stick my neck out for nobody.

Hayakawa S.I.


Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Hazlitt William


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Heidi Hartmann


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Heine


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Heinlein R.A.


Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Heinlein Robert


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Heinlein Robert


per year.

Heller Joseph


When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Heller Robert


When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Heller Joseph


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Heller Joseph


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Heller Joseph


You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Heller Joseph


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Hellman Lillian


What we do not understand we do not possess.

Hemingway Ernest


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Hemingway Ernest


We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Hemingway Peter Applebome


Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall


The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

Henrik Ibsen


'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Henry Durant


In the long run we are all dead.

Henry James


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Henry Robert


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Hepbur Dorothy Parker


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Heraclitus


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Herbert A.P.


It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Herbert Frank


There is no fool to the old fool.

Herbert Frank


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Herbert Hoover


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Herodotus


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Herodotus


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Herodotus


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Herodotus


Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Herodotus


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Heroi Stephen Pile


I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Heroi Stephen Pile


He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Littering is dumb.

Heroi Stephen Pile


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Heroi Stephen Pile


The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Herold Don


The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Heywood John


What you don't know won't help you much either.

Heywood John


Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Heywood John


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Heywood John


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Heywood John


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Heywood John


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Heywood John


The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Heywood John


Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Heywood John


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Heywood John


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Heywood John


The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Heywood John


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Heywood John


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Heywood John


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Heywood John


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Heywood John


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Hicks D.J.


When in doubt, tell the truth.

Hickson W.E.


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Hightower Jim


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Hildebrand Joel


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Hinckley John


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Hindu Code


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Hinojosa Daniel


Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Hippocrates


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Hitler Adolf


He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Hitler Adolf


Never buy from a rich salesman.

Hitler Adolf


America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Hitler Adolf


Nice guys finish last.

Hitler Adolf


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Hitler Adolf


"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Hitler Adolph


Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Hitler Adolph


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Hitler Adolph


I hate quotations.

Hobbs Calvin and


So little time, so little to do.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

Hoest Bill


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Hoffer Eric


We're only in it for the volume.

Hoffer Eric


The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Hoffman A.


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Hoffman Abbie


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Holla Xaviera


Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Holmes Sherlock


Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Holmes Sherlock


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Holyoke Edward


BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Holzer Jenny


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Homer


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Homer


I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Honda. Harpoon a


Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Hook Sidney


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Hoover Herbert


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Hoover Herbert


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Hoover J. Edgar


One good turn deserves another.

Hoover J. Edgar


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hoover J. Edgar


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Hoover J. Edgar


To lead people, you must follow behind.

Hope A.


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Hope Bob


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Hope Bob


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Hoppe Art


Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Hopper Grace Murray


Confucius say too much.

Hopper Grace Murray


Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Horace


Too much is just enough.

Horace


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Horace


The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Horner M.


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Horning Jim


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Houghton Blair


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Houseman A.E.


The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Howe E.W.


The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Howe Edgar W.


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Howe Irving


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Howe Nathaniel


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Hubbard Elbert


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Hubbard Elbert


I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

Hubbard Elbert


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Hubbard Elbert


For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

Hubbard Elbert


So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Hubbard Elbert


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Hubbard F.M.


There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Hubbard Frank


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Hubbard Frank


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Hubbard Kim


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Hubbard Kim


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Hubbard Kim


The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Hubbard Kin


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Hubbard Kin


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Hubbard L. Ron


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Hubbard L. Ron


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Hudson Henry


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Hugo Victor


Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Hugo Victor


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Hugo Victor


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Hugo Victor


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Humphrey Hubert


The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Hunter S. Thompson


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Huntingd Collis P.


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Hurley Jack


Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Huron Port


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Hutchins Robert M.


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Huxley Aldous


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Huxley Aldous


I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you





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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to
Barry Dave

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