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Littering is dumb.

H.G. Wells


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Ha Nate


We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Hagen Walter


I would not like to be a political leader in Russia. They never know when they're being taped.

Hague Frank


I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Hahn Tim


Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Haig Alexander


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Haldeman H.R.


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Half-Constru Racter


All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Hallock Addison H.


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Halsey Admiral William


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Hamilton Alexander


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Hamilton Alexander


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Hamilton Edith


"One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there should be a Coastal Commission, I took a helicopter ride from Los Angeles to San Diego. We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some virtually empty. They had the

Hamlet Dick


Youth is a disease from which we all recover.

Hammarskjold Dag


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Hampton Christopher


I am not now and never have been a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.

Handley Jack


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Hardin


Who's scruffy-looking?

Hardin Salvor


Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Harding Warren G.


And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

Harper Lucille S.


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Harper Roy


Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and

Harris Sidney


Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Harris Sydney


A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

Harris Sydney J.


There is always something new out of Africa.

Harris Sydney J.


When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.

Harris Sydney J.


You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me from your own life. May it all turn out to your happiness.

Harris Sydney J.


By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Harrison


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Harrold Mark


I would have made a good pope.

Harry Dirty


We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Harry Dirty


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Hart Johnny


Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Hartm


A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Haskins Ernest


Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Hawes J.


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Hawkwind


As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

Hawley Cameron


Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Hayakawa S.I.


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Hazlitt William


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Heidi Hartmann


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Heine


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Heinlein R.A.


Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Heinlein Robert


Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Heinlein Robert


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Heller Joseph


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Heller Robert


The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Heller Joseph


The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Heller Joseph


The goys have proven the following theorem...

Heller Joseph


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Heller Joseph


If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

Hellman Lillian


Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

Hemingway Ernest


I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Hemingway Ernest


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Hemingway Peter Applebome


The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall


Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Henrik Ibsen


There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.

Henry Durant


A man is known by the company he organizes.

Henry James


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Henry Robert


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker


Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Heraclitus


The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Herbert A.P.


I hate quotations.

Herbert Frank


Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

Herbert Frank


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Herbert Hoover


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Herodotus


That's where the money was.

Herodotus


He who slings mud generally loses ground.

Herodotus


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Herodotus


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Herodotus


'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Heroi Stephen Pile


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Heroi Stephen Pile


I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Mr. Salter's side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent. When Lord Copper was right he said "Definitely, Lord Copper"; when he was wrong, "Up to a point." "Let me see, what's the name of the place I mean? Capital of Japan? Yokoh

Heroi Stephen Pile


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Heroi Stephen Pile


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Heroi Stephen Pile


But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Herold Don


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Heywood John


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Heywood John


Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Heywood John


War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Heywood John


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Heywood John


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Heywood John


Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Heywood John


The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

Heywood John


Man proposes, God disposes.

Heywood John


Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Heywood John


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Heywood John


Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Heywood John


Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Heywood John


When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Heywood John


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Heywood John


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Heywood John


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Hicks D.J.


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Hickson W.E.


Indomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.

Hightower Jim


Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Hildebrand Joel


You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Hinckley John


REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set i

Hindu Code


We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.

Hinojosa Daniel


If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Hippocrates


The world wants to be deceived.

Hitler Adolf


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Hitler Adolf


Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Hitler Adolf


To add insult to injury.

Hitler Adolf


A snake lurks in the grass.

Hitler Adolf


Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps. If I had not known that the Leader would have sc

Hitler Adolf


Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

Hitler Adolph


When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this was bound to happen in a democratic system. However, we National Socialists never asserted that we represented a democratic point of view, but we have declared openly that

Hitler Adolph


The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism, call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.

Hitler Adolph


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Hobbs Calvin and


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Hoest Bill


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Hoffer Eric


"Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday. Mannis feels he must devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might emanate from a recent statement he made compar

Hoffer Eric


The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.

Hoffman A.


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Hoffman Abbie


The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity. To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.

Holla Xaviera


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Holmes Sherlock


I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.

Holmes Sherlock


It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

Holyoke Edward


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Holzer Jenny


The major advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.

Homer


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Homer


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Honda. Harpoon a


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Hook Sidney


To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

Hoover Herbert


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Hoover Herbert


Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Hoover J. Edgar


Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

Hoover J. Edgar


Justice is incidental to law and order.

Hoover J. Edgar


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Hoover J. Edgar


You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m. anyway.

Hope A.


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Hope Bob


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Hope Bob


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Hoppe Art


No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

Hopper Grace Murray


WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Hopper Grace Murray


I needed the good will of the legislature of four states. I formed the legislative bodies with my own money. I found that it was cheaper that way.

Horace


To have died once is enough.

Horace


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Horace


An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Horner M.


There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.

Horning Jim


I hate dying.

Houghton Blair


I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot save myself.

Houseman A.E.


"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Howe E.W.


He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Howe Edgar W.


If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

Howe Irving


The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

Howe Nathaniel


When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Hubbard Elbert


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Hubbard Elbert


Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Hubbard Elbert


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Hubbard Elbert


If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

Hubbard Elbert


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Hubbard Elbert


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Hubbard F.M.


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Hubbard Frank


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Hubbard Frank


"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Hubbard Kim


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Hubbard Kim


A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

Hubbard Kim


New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Hubbard Kin


Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Hubbard Kin


"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Hubbard L. Ron


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Hubbard L. Ron


Don't take a nickel, just hand them your business card.

Hudson Henry


Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Hugo Victor


If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Hugo Victor


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Hugo Victor


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Hugo Victor


The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Humphrey Hubert


Business will be either better or worse.

Hunter S. Thompson


I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

Huntingd Collis P.


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hurley Jack


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Huron Port


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Hutchins Robert M.


You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.

Huxley Aldous


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Huxley Aldous


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you





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Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.
Sayre Wallace

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