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Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

H.G. Wells

Better late than never.

Ha Nate

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Hagen Walter

Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Hague Frank

Law enforcement officers should use only the minimum force necessary in dealing with disorders when they arise.

Hahn Tim

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Haig Alexander

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Haldeman H.R.

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Half-Constru Racter

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

Hallock Addison H.

If it takes a bloodbath, lets get it over with. No more appeasement.

Halsey Admiral William

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Hamilton Alexander

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Hamilton Alexander

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or wha

Hamilton Edith

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Hamlet Dick

You don't have to be nice to people on the way up if you're not planning on coming back down.

Hammarskjold Dag

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Hampton Christopher

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Handley Jack

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.


I don't understand what all the fuss was about in Los Angeles. It's not like we looted Brooks Brothers when Oliver North got off.

Hardin Salvor

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Harding Warren G.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Harper Lucille S.

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

Harper Roy

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Harris Sidney

The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.

Harris Sydney

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Harris Sydney J.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Harris Sydney J.

We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Harris Sydney J.

An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed). When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage. "What is this?" he shouts. "I fought

Harris Sydney J.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.


Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

Harrold Mark

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Harry Dirty

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.

Harry Dirty

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Hart Johnny

Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.


An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.

Haskins Ernest

But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Hawes J.

They use different words for things in America. For instance they say elevator and we say lift. They say drapes and we say curtains. They say president and we say brain damaged git.


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Hawley Cameron

They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.

Hayakawa S.I.

Necessity hath no law.

Hazlitt William

They also serve who only stand and wait.

Heidi Hartmann

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Heinlein R.A.

Look ere ye leap.

Heinlein Robert

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Heinlein Robert

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Heller Joseph

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Heller Robert

Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]

Heller Joseph

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Heller Joseph

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Heller Joseph

Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Heller Joseph

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Hellman Lillian

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

Hemingway Ernest

There is only one word for aid that is genuinely without strings, and that word is blackmail.

Hemingway Ernest

Man is by nature a political animal.

Hemingway Peter Applebome

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Henrik Ibsen

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Henry Durant

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Henry James

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Henry Robert

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.


Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down, and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soo

Herbert A.P.

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

Herbert Frank

The more I see of men the more I admire dogs.

Herbert Frank

Too much is just enough.

Herbert Hoover

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.


It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.


Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.


I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.


We are not loved by our friends for what we are; rather, we are loved in spite of what we are.

Heroi Stephen Pile

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Heroi Stephen Pile

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Heroi Stephen Pile

No two persons ever read the same book.

Heroi Stephen Pile

To add insult to injury.

Heroi Stephen Pile

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Herold Don

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Heywood John

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Heywood John

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Heywood John

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Heywood John

Something better... 13 (sympathetic): Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? 14 (complimentary): You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. 15 (scientific): Say, does that thing there influence the tides?

Heywood John

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Heywood John

Majorities, of course, start with minorities.

Heywood John

My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Heywood John

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Heywood John

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Heywood John

Democracy is good. I say this because other systems are worse.

Heywood John

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Heywood John

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Heywood John

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Heywood John

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Heywood John

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Heywood John

We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.

Hicks D.J.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Hickson W.E.

The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.

Hightower Jim

War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Hildebrand Joel

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Hinckley John

To be is to be related.

Hindu Code

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Hinojosa Daniel

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto


Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Hitler Adolf

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Hitler Adolf

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Hitler Adolf

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Hitler Adolf

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Hitler Adolf

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Hitler Adolf

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Hitler Adolph

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Hitler Adolph

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Hitler Adolph

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Hobbs Calvin and

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Hodder-Williams Christopher

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Hoest Bill

THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it. Probabl

Hoffer Eric

You'd better smile when they watch you, smile like you're in control.

Hoffer Eric

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Hoffman A.

There's no justice in this world.

Hoffman Abbie

Talkers are no good doers.

Holla Xaviera

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Holmes Sherlock

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Holmes Sherlock

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Holyoke Edward

And what accomplished villains these old engineers were! What diabolical ways to sabotage they found! Nikolai Karlovich von Meck, of the People's Comissariat of Railroads ... would hold forth for hours on end about the economic problems involved in

Holzer Jenny

We give advice, but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.


Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.


Even God cannot change the past.

Honda. Harpoon a

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Hook Sidney

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

Hoover Herbert

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Hoover Herbert

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Hoover J. Edgar

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Hoover J. Edgar

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Hoover J. Edgar

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Hoover J. Edgar

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Hope A.

Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan. Sometimes people are just begging for that frypan, and if we weaken for a moment and honor t

Hope Bob

Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far.

Hope Bob

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Hoppe Art

After the ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with th

Hopper Grace Murray

All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.

Hopper Grace Murray

Events are not affected, they develop.


This was the most unkindest cut of all.


Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year without explanation.


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Horner M.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Horning Jim

A rich man told me recently that a liberal is a man who tells other people what to do with their money.

Houghton Blair

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Houseman A.E.

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Howe E.W.

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

Howe Edgar W.

Nobody shot me.

Howe Irving

Prizes are for children.

Howe Nathaniel

We must remember that in time of war what is said on the enemy's side of the front is always propaganda and what is said on our side of the front is truth and righteousness, the cause of humanity and a crusade for peace.

Hubbard Elbert

A man's house is his castle.

Hubbard Elbert

If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.

Hubbard Elbert

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Hubbard Elbert

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Hubbard Elbert

It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

Hubbard Elbert

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Hubbard F.M.

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Hubbard Frank

A non-vegetarian anti-abortionist is a contradiction in terms.

Hubbard Frank

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Hubbard Kim

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Hubbard Kim

If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Hubbard Kim

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Hubbard Kin

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Hubbard Kin

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Hubbard L. Ron

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Hubbard L. Ron

Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Hudson Henry

A snake lurks in the grass.

Hugo Victor

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Hugo Victor

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Hugo Victor

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Hugo Victor

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Humphrey Hubert

Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Hunter S. Thompson

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Huntingd Collis P.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Hurley Jack

Charity begins at home.

Huron Port

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Hutchins Robert M.

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Huxley Aldous

They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Huxley Aldous

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

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It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.
Long Lazarus

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