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Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

H.G. Wells

I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice. To be a man is to suffer for others.

Ha Nate

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Hagen Walter

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Hague Frank

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

Hahn Tim

When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this was bound to happen in a democratic system. However, we National Socialists never asserted that we represented a democratic point of view, but we have declared openly that

Haig Alexander

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Haldeman H.R.

For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Half-Constru Racter

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Hallock Addison H.

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Halsey Admiral William

Put a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.

Hamilton Alexander

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Hamilton Alexander

Another day, another dollar.

Hamilton Edith

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Hamlet Dick

A decade after Vietnam, we still cannot understand why "their" Salvadorans fight better than "our" Salvadorans. It is not a matter of their training or their equipment. It has to do with the quality of the society we are asking them to risk death d

Hammarskjold Dag

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Hampton Christopher

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Handley Jack

Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be


The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national organization. The stated goal of the c

Hardin Salvor

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Harding Warren G.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Harper Lucille S.

Real wealth can only increase.

Harper Roy

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Harris Sidney

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Harris Sydney

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Harris Sydney J.

Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or

Harris Sydney J.

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Harris Sydney J.

"Any news from the President on a successor?" he asked hopefully. "None," Anita replied. "She's having great difficulty finding someone qualified who is willing to accept the post." "Then I stay," said Dr. Fresh. "I'm not good for much, but I c

Harris Sydney J.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.


He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.

Harrold Mark

There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.

Harry Dirty

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Harry Dirty

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Hart Johnny

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.


I'll never get off this planet.

Haskins Ernest

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Hawes J.

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.


We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Hawley Cameron

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Hayakawa S.I.

Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

Hazlitt William

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Heidi Hartmann

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Heinlein R.A.

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Heinlein Robert

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Heinlein Robert

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Heller Joseph

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Heller Robert

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Heller Joseph

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

Heller Joseph

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Heller Joseph

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Heller Joseph

The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Hellman Lillian

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Hemingway Ernest

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Hemingway Ernest

Harp not on that string.

Hemingway Peter Applebome

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Henrik Ibsen

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Henry Durant

If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

Henry James

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Henry Robert

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.


Well begun is half done.

Herbert A.P.

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Herbert Frank

In the future, there will be fewer but better Russians.

Herbert Frank

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Herbert Hoover

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.


Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year without explanation.


Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.


I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.


I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Heroi Stephen Pile

You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

Heroi Stephen Pile

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.

Heroi Stephen Pile

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Heroi Stephen Pile

"One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there should be a Coastal Commission, I took a helicopter ride from Los Angeles to San Diego. We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some virtually empty. They had the

Heroi Stephen Pile

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Herold Don

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Heywood John

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Heywood John

Nothing recedes like success.

Heywood John

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Heywood John

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Heywood John

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Heywood John

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Heywood John

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Heywood John

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Heywood John

There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day.

Heywood John

Don't get mad, get even.

Heywood John

The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Heywood John

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Heywood John

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

Heywood John

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Heywood John

The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism, call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.

Heywood John

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.

Hicks D.J.

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Hickson W.E.

Nice boy, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Hightower Jim

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Hildebrand Joel

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.

Hinckley John

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Hindu Code

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Hinojosa Daniel

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.


Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Hitler Adolf

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.

Hitler Adolf

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Hitler Adolf

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Hitler Adolf

The best you get is an even break.

Hitler Adolf

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Hitler Adolf

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Hitler Adolph

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Hitler Adolph

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Hitler Adolph

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Hobbs Calvin and

Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Another day, another dollar.

Hoest Bill

Sanity is the trademark of a weak mind.

Hoffer Eric

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

Hoffer Eric

We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Hoffman A.

The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.

Hoffman Abbie

"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Holla Xaviera

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Holmes Sherlock

"Lemme show ya the odds, Sparky... In yer country, ya got 14 million black people, and 3 million white people. Now, does the name `Custer' mean anything to you?"

Holmes Sherlock

Al Gore resembled a Vulcan desperately in need of a blow job.

Holyoke Edward

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Holzer Jenny

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.


My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Honda. Harpoon a

Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan. Sometimes people are just begging for that frypan, and if we weaken for a moment and honor t

Hook Sidney

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Hoover Herbert

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Hoover Herbert

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Hoover J. Edgar

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Hoover J. Edgar

There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Hoover J. Edgar

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Hoover J. Edgar

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Hope A.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Hope Bob

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Hope Bob

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Hoppe Art

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Hopper Grace Murray

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Hopper Grace Murray

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!


To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Horner M.

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Horning Jim

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Houghton Blair

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Houseman A.E.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Howe E.W.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Howe Edgar W.

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.

Howe Irving

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Howe Nathaniel

Even God cannot change the past.

Hubbard Elbert

Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Hubbard Elbert

The farther you go, the less you know.

Hubbard Elbert

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Hubbard Elbert

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Hubbard Elbert

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Hubbard Elbert

Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

Hubbard F.M.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Hubbard Frank

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Hubbard Frank

Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps. If I had not known that the Leader would have sc

Hubbard Kim

To teach is to learn twice.

Hubbard Kim

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Hubbard Kim

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Hubbard Kin

Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

Hubbard Kin

You can never do just one thing.

Hubbard L. Ron

No television performance takes as much preparation as an off-the-cuff talk.

Hubbard L. Ron

It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Hudson Henry

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Hugo Victor

You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me from your own life. May it all turn out to your happiness.

Hugo Victor

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Hugo Victor

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Hugo Victor

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Humphrey Hubert

In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Hunter S. Thompson

You guys have been practicing discrimination for years. Now it's our turn.

Huntingd Collis P.

My father was a saint, I'm not.

Hurley Jack

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Huron Port

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Hutchins Robert M.

The angry man always thinks he can do more than he can.

Huxley Aldous

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Huxley Aldous

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

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I am not a politician and my other habits are also good.
Ward A.

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