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Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Jack Handley

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Jackson Glenda

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Jackson Justice Robert H.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Jackson Andrew

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Jagger Mick

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

James Clive

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

James William

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

James William

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

James Agate

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Jane Wagner

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Jarry Alfred

Don't guess

Jean Giraudoux

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Jefferson Thomas

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Jefferson Thomas

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Jefferson Thomas

Indomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.

Jefferson Thomas

I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.

Jefferson Thomas

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Jefferson Thomas

One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Jefferson Thomas

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Jefferson Thomas

The first requisite for immortality is death.

Jefferson Thomas

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Jefferson Thomas

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Jerome Jerome K.

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Jerome Jerome Klapka

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Jerome Saint

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Jerrold Douglas

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Jessel Sir George

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Jessica Salmonson

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Jim Strange de

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Jim Strange de

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Jim Strange de

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Jim Starlin

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Jim Starlin

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Jim Steinman

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Jimmy Crazy

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Jitterbu Tom Robbins

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Joan Didion

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

Joan Didion

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Joel Chandler Harris

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Joel M. Snyder

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.


There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Joh Lyndon B.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

John Ball

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

John Barrymore

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

John Denver

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

John Dewey

In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and

John Donne

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

John Gardner

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

John Hunt British

If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

John Kennedy

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

John Kenneth Galbraith

The ripest fruit falls first.

John LeCarre

Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

John Lightfoot

There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

John The Dragon to Grendel in

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Johnson Dave

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Johnson Dr.

If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Johnson Dr.

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Johnson Lyndon Baines

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Johnson S.

In the long run we are all dead.

Johnson Samuel

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Johnson Samuel

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Johnson Samuel

The farther you go, the less you know.

Johnson Samuel

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Johnson Samuel

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Johnson Samuel

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Johnson Samuel

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.


All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Johnson Lyndon

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Johnston M. M.

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Joke The Killing

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Jones Carolyn

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Jones Franklin P.

And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Jones Franklin P.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Jones Franklin P.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Jones Franklin P.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Jones Thomas

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Jones] Chuck

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Joost van den Vondel

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

Joplin Janis

When you're in command, command.

Jorge Luis Borges

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Joseph Gallo

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Joubert Joseph

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Journal Albuquerque

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Journal The Wall Street

Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Joyce James

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Joyce James

Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered].

Juan Don

Housework can kill you if done right.

Judith Martin

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Judy Garland

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Juliana Queen

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Julius Caesar

"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

Jun Esquire

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Jung Carl

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

Jung C.G.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Random Quote

"Lemme show ya the odds, Sparky... In yer country, ya got 14 million black people, and 3 million white people. Now, does the name `Custer' mean anything to you?"
Williams Robin

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