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Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Jack Handley

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Jackson Glenda

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Jackson Andrew

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Jagger Mick

What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue but fitness. The weak and the

James Clive

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

James William

A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

James William

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

James Agate

Go away, I'm all right.

Jane Wagner

But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Jarry Alfred

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Jean Giraudoux

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Jefferson Thomas

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Jefferson Thomas

No two persons ever read the same book.

Jefferson Thomas

I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

Jefferson Thomas

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Jefferson Thomas

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Jefferson Thomas

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Jefferson Thomas

The Least Perceptive Literary Critic The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax. A most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to give a public reading of his latest poem. Pope, the leading poet of h

Jefferson Thomas

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Jefferson Thomas

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Jefferson Thomas

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Jerome Jerome K.

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Jerome Jerome Klapka

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Jerome Saint

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Jerrold Douglas

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Jessel Sir George

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Jessica Salmonson

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.


To teach is to learn twice.

Jim Strange de

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Jim Strange de

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Jim Strange de

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Jim Starlin

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Jim Starlin

One big pile is better than two little piles.

Jim Steinman

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Jimmy Crazy

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Jitterbu Tom Robbins

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Joan Didion

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Joan Didion

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Joel Chandler Harris

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Joel M. Snyder

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Joh Lyndon B.

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

John Ball

All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

John Barrymore

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

John Denver

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

John Dewey

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

John Donne

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

John Gardner

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

John Hunt British

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.

John Kennedy

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

John LeCarre

The world wants to be deceived.

John Lightfoot

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

John The Dragon to Grendel in

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Johnson Dave

I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Johnson Dr.

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Johnson Dr.

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may s

Johnson Lyndon Baines

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Johnson S.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Johnson Samuel

For a light heart lives long.

Johnson Samuel

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Johnson Samuel

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Johnson Samuel

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Johnson Samuel

"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

Johnson Samuel

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Johnson Samuel

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Johnson Lyndon

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Johnston M. M.

... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

Joke The Killing

Nothing endures but change.

Jones Carolyn

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Jones Franklin P.

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Jones Franklin P.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Jones Franklin P.

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Jones Franklin P.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Jones Thomas

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Jones] Chuck

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Joost van den Vondel

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

Joplin Janis

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Jorge Luis Borges

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Joseph Gallo

Talkers are no good doers.

Joubert Joseph

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Journal Albuquerque

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Journal The Wall Street

And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Joyce James

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

Joyce James

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Juan Don

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Judith Martin

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Judy Garland

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Juliana Queen

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Julius Caesar

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Jun Esquire

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Jung Carl

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Jung C.G.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

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One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Keller Helen

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