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No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

Jack Handley


If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Jackson Glenda


Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Jackson Justice Robert H.


Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Jackson Justice Robert H.


Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Jackson Justice Robert H.


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Jackson Andrew


I dote on his very absence.

Jagger Mick


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

James Clive


Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

James William


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

James William


Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

James Agate


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Jane Wagner


A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Jarry Alfred


I'm sorry I missed.

Jean Giraudoux


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Jefferson Thomas


The white race is the cancer of history.

Jefferson Thomas


Too much is just enough.

Jefferson Thomas


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Jefferson Thomas


A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Jefferson Thomas


American cars are made shoddily... Cars made overseas are far superior.

Jefferson Thomas


The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Jefferson Thomas


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Jefferson Thomas


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Jefferson Thomas


Justice is incidental to law and order.

Jefferson Thomas


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Jerome Jerome K.


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Jerome Jerome Klapka


The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

Jerome Saint


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Jerrold Douglas


The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

Jessel Sir George


Many hands make light work.

Jessica Salmonson


Men are superior to women.

Jesus


Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

Jim Strange de


It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Jim Strange de


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Jim Strange de


All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Jim Starlin


Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

Jim Starlin


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Jim Steinman


"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Jimmy Crazy


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Jitterbu Tom Robbins


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Joan Didion


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Joan Didion


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Joel Chandler Harris


Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. War is peace.

Joel M. Snyder


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Joey


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Joh Lyndon B.


If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

John Ball


The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

John Barrymore


The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

John Denver


Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name.

John Dewey


He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

John Donne


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

John Gardner


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

John Hunt British


The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

John Kennedy


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

John Kenneth Galbraith


Real wealth can only increase.

John LeCarre


of the time.

John Lightfoot


In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

John The Dragon to Grendel in


I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may s

Johnson Dave


Even God cannot change the past.

Johnson Dr.


The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Johnson Dr.


When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Johnson Lyndon Baines


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Johnson S.


Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Johnson Samuel


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Johnson Samuel


Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Johnson Samuel


They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Johnson Samuel


While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.

Johnson Samuel


Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?

Johnson Samuel


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Johnson Samuel


I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

Johnson


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Johnson Lyndon


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Johnston M. M.


Confucius say too much.

Joke The Killing


Persistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political leaders.

Jones Carolyn


I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Jones Franklin P.


In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.

Jones Franklin P.


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Jones Franklin P.


If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Jones Franklin P.


If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Jones Thomas


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Jones] Chuck


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Joost van den Vondel


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Joplin Janis


Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Jorge Luis Borges


Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Joseph Gallo


An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Joubert Joseph


Look before you leap.

Journal Albuquerque


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Journal The Wall Street


No evil can happen to a good man.

Joyce James


The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Joyce James


"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Juan Don


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Judith Martin


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Judy Garland


"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Juliana Queen


Were it not for the presence of the unwashed and the half-educated, the formless, queer and incomplete, the unreasonable and absurd, the infinite shapes of the delightful human tadpole, the horizon would not wear so wide a grin.

Julius Caesar


Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Jun Esquire


I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Jung Carl


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Jung C.G.


Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Juvenalis Decimus Junius





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When in doubt, tell the truth.
Twain Mark

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