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It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

Jack Handley

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Jackson Glenda

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed). When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage. "What is this?" he shouts. "I fought

Jackson Justice Robert H.

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.

Jackson Andrew

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Jagger Mick

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

James Clive

If you float on instinct alone, how can you calculate the buoyancy for the computed load?

James William

The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

James William

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

James Agate

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Jane Wagner

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Jarry Alfred

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Jean Giraudoux

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Jefferson Thomas

If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

Jefferson Thomas

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Jefferson Thomas

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Jefferson Thomas

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Jefferson Thomas

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Jefferson Thomas

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Jefferson Thomas

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Jefferson Thomas

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Jefferson Thomas

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Jefferson Thomas

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Jerome Jerome K.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Jerome Jerome Klapka

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Jerome Saint

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Jerrold Douglas

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Jessel Sir George

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Jessica Salmonson

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Jim Strange de

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Jim Strange de

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Jim Strange de

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Jim Starlin

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Jim Starlin

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Jim Steinman

"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"

Jimmy Crazy

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Jitterbu Tom Robbins

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Joan Didion

Knowledge is power.

Joan Didion

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Joel Chandler Harris

The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Joel M. Snyder

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.


The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Joh Lyndon B.

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

John Ball

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

John Barrymore

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

John Denver

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

John Dewey

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

John Donne

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

John Gardner

The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it is your move.

John Hunt British

All generalizations are false, including this one.

John Kennedy

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

John Kenneth Galbraith

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

John LeCarre

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

John Lightfoot

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

John The Dragon to Grendel in

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Johnson Dave

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Johnson Dr.

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Johnson Dr.

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Johnson Lyndon Baines

The full potentialities of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully interferes.

Johnson S.

"I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages. You sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working. I have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nos

Johnson Samuel

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Johnson Samuel

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Johnson Samuel

We should be glad we're living in the time that we are. If any of us had been born into a more enlightened age, I'm sure we would have immediately been taken out and shot.

Johnson Samuel

It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.

Johnson Samuel

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Johnson Samuel

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Johnson Samuel

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.


Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Johnson Lyndon

Keep cool, but don't freeze.

Johnston M. M.

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Joke The Killing

... the privileged being which we call human is distinguished from other animals only by certain double-edged manifestations which in charity we can only call "inhuman."

Jones Carolyn

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Jones Franklin P.

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Jones Franklin P.

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

Jones Franklin P.

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Jones Franklin P.

For a light heart lives long.

Jones Thomas

Thinking you know something is a sure way to blind yourself.

Jones] Chuck

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Joost van den Vondel

In the future, there will be fewer but better Russians.

Joplin Janis

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Jorge Luis Borges

Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear lest she should catch a cold on overexposure.

Joseph Gallo

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Joubert Joseph

Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!

Journal Albuquerque

Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Journal The Wall Street

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Joyce James

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Joyce James

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Juan Don

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Judith Martin

One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious.

Judy Garland

Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.

Juliana Queen

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Julius Caesar

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Jun Esquire

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Jung Carl

I will make you shorter by the head.

Jung C.G.

Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Random Quote

The horizon of many people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call this their point of view.
Einstein Albert

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