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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Jack Handley

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Jackson Glenda

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Jackson Andrew

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

Jagger Mick

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

James Clive

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

James William

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

James William

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

James Agate

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Jane Wagner

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Jarry Alfred

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Jean Giraudoux

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Jefferson Thomas

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Jefferson Thomas

Small is beautiful.

Jefferson Thomas

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Jefferson Thomas

The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Jefferson Thomas

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Jefferson Thomas

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Jefferson Thomas

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Jefferson Thomas

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Jefferson Thomas

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Jefferson Thomas

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Jerome Jerome K.

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Jerome Jerome Klapka

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Jerome Saint

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Jerrold Douglas

Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Jessel Sir George

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Jessica Salmonson

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."


Satire is tragedy plus time.

Jim Strange de

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Jim Strange de

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Jim Strange de

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Jim Starlin

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Jim Starlin

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Jim Steinman

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Jimmy Crazy

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Jitterbu Tom Robbins

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Joan Didion

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Joan Didion

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Joel Chandler Harris

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Joel M. Snyder

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.


"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Joh Lyndon B.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

John Ball

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

John Barrymore

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

John Denver

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

John Dewey

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

John Donne

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

John Gardner

Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.

John Hunt British

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

John Kennedy

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

John Kenneth Galbraith

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

John LeCarre

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

John Lightfoot

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

John The Dragon to Grendel in

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Johnson Dave


Johnson Dr.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Johnson Dr.

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Johnson Lyndon Baines

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Johnson S.

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johnson Samuel

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Johnson Samuel

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Johnson Samuel

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Johnson Samuel

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Johnson Samuel

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Johnson Samuel

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Johnson Samuel

Everything is possible. Pass the word.


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Johnson Lyndon

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Johnston M. M.


Joke The Killing

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Jones Carolyn

A man's house is his castle.

Jones Franklin P.

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Jones Franklin P.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Jones Franklin P.

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Jones Franklin P.

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Jones Thomas

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Jones] Chuck

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Joost van den Vondel

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Joplin Janis

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Jorge Luis Borges

A violent man will die a violent death.

Joseph Gallo

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Joubert Joseph

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Journal Albuquerque

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Journal The Wall Street

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Joyce James

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Joyce James

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Juan Don

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Judith Martin

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Judy Garland

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Juliana Queen

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Julius Caesar

Odets, where is thy sting?

Jun Esquire

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Jung Carl

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Jung C.G.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Random Quote

If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every
Dickey James

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