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Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Kafka F.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Kafka Franz

Genius is pain.

Kahlil Gibran

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Kahn Alfred

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Kaiser Henry J.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Kandel Howard

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Kandel Howard

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Kant Immanuel

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Karl Kraus

It is better to have loved and lost

Karl Menninger

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Kasspe Arthur

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Kaufman George

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Kaufman George S.

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Kaufman Stanley

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Kaul Donald

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Kaul Donald

IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Kay Alan

Honesty's the best policy.

Kay Alan

Justice is incidental to law and order.

Ke John F.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Keats John

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Kehlog Albran

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Kehlog Albran

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Kehlog Albran

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Kehlog Albran

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Kehlog Albran

"The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to ________preserve disorder."

Kehlog Albran

Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to all your troubles.

Keillor Garrison

Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Keillor Garrison

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Keillor Garrison

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.

Keller Helen

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Kelly Walt

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Kempis Thomas `a

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Kempis Thomas `a

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Kennedy J.F.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Kennedy J.F.

The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism, call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.

Kennedy J.F.

I am not a politician and my other habits are also good.

Kennedy John F.

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Kennedy John F.

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Kennedy John F.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Kennedy John F.

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Kennedy John Fitzgerald

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Kennedy John

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

Kennedy Joseph

Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Kennedy Joseph P.

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Kenobi Obi-wan

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Kerouac Jack

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Kerouac Jack

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Kerr Jean

Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Kesey Ken

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Kesey Ken

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Kessler Leo

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Kessler Leo

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

Kessler Leo

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Keynes John Maynard

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Keynes John Maynard

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Keynes John Maynard

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Keyser. C.J.

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Khrushchev Nikita

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Kierkegaard S.

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Kierkegaard Soren

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Kierkegaard Soren

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Kiernan P.B.A. President E. J.

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Kiner Ralph

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

King Stephen

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.


Beggars should be no choosers.

Kipling Rudyard

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Kirk Lisa

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Kissinger Henry

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Kissinger Henry

There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Kissinger Henry

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Kissinger Henry

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Kissinger Henry

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Kitman Marvin

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

Klein Robert

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Knapp R.S.

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Koblas G.S.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.


When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Kopp Thomas J.

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Koran The

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Korda Alexander

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Korda Michael

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Korner Kenny's

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Krabill W.S.

In my end is my beginning.

Kraf Peter Kennedy

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Kraft Foods

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Kraus Karl

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Kraus Karl

Many hands make light work.

Kraus Karl

If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Kristofferson Kris

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Krutch Joseph Wood

Somewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees on the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of employees in the Department

Kubrick Stanley

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Kubrick Stanley

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Kurt Vonnegut

I hate quotations.

Kurt Vonnegut

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There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing.
Ionesco Eugene

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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