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Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

La Rouchefoucauld


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Lady Whiteadder


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Lafferty R. A.


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Lai Chou En


There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Lampoon The Harvard


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Landers Ann


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Lang Andrew


The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Langan L.M.


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Lao Tsu


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Lara Michael


A word to the wise is enough.

Lara Michael


The ripest fruit falls first.

Lardner David


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Lardner Ring


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Lardner Ring


Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to all your troubles.

Larry Niven


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Larsen Dalglish


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Larson Erik


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Lascl Christopher


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Laukikanyay.


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Lazarus


To be or not to be.

Lazarus Long


"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

LeBoutillier J.


Knowledge is power.

LeGuin Ursula K.


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Lear King


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Leary Tim


If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Lebowitz Fran


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Lebowitz Fran


If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Lebowitz Fran


I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Lebowitz Fran


There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Leghorn Foghorn


"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

Leghorn Foghorn


Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Leghorn Foghorn


Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Lehman John


"The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to ________preserve disorder."

Lehrer Tom


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Lehrer Tom


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Lehrer Tom


Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Lem Stanislaw


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Lem Stanislaw


The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism, call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.

Len Cool


God helps them that help themselves.

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Lenin


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Lennon John


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Lennon John


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Leo Rosten


I might have gone to West Point, but I was too proud to speak to a congressman.

LeoGrande William


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.

Leopardi Giacomo


I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Lerner Max


The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Leslie Stephen


The farther you go, the less you know.

Leslie Stephen


We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Lester Julius


Small things make base men proud.

Letterman David


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Letterman David


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Letterman David


A is for Apple.

Letterman David


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Letterman David


I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Letterman David


"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Letterman David


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Letterman David


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Levant Oscar


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Levant Oscar


A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Levin Bernard


When in doubt, use brute force.

Levine Joseph E.


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Levinson Leonard


A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Lew Sinclair


Beggars should be no choosers.

Lewin Ralph


I owe the public nothing.

Lewis C.S.


You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Lewis C.S.


I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Lewis Joe E.


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Lewis Joe E.


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Lewis Richard


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Lewis Sinclair


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Lewis Thomas


But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Li Woman's


The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

Li Mark Twain


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Lie Trygve


You can never do just one thing.

Liebling A.J.


Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Liebling A.J.


We are what we pretend to be.

Liepmann Hans


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Lilly John


Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Lincoln A.


The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Lincoln Abraham


In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Lincoln Abraham


When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Lincoln Abraham


The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Lincoln Abraham


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Lincoln Abraham


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Lincoln Abraham


Another day, another dollar.

Lincoln Abraham


Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Lincoln Abraham


When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Lindbergh Charles


The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

Ling James J.


Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Lippmann Walter


It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Lippmann Walter


"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Little Mary Wilson


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Little Rich


As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Lloyd Kaufman


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Lo graffito in


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Locke John


The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Lockridge Ross


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Long Lazarus


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Long Lazarus


"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

Long Lazarus


The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Long Lazarus


It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Long Lazarus


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Long Lazarus


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Long Lazarus


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Long Lazarus


We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Long Lazarus


A place for everything and everything in its place.

Long Lazarus


Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Long Russell


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Longfellow H.W.


Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Longworth A. R.


The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


There's no justice in this world.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Loo Lewis Carroll


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Louder P.G


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Louder P.G.


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Louisi Edwin Edwards


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Lowell James Russell


"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Lowell Robert


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Lowell James Russell


History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Lubbock John


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Luce C.B.


The man who runs may fight again.

Luce Clare Booth


Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Lucinda Childs


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Lula Pace Ripley


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Lumsden Marshall


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Lur Terry Pratchett


The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Lustbader Eric Van


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Luten Daniel B.


God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

Luten Daniel B.


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Luther Martin


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Luther Martin


Grub first, then ethics.

Luther Martin


When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Lyly John


For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years. This gives me great hope for the human race.

Lynch


Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

lose. until you





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I can give you my word, but I know what it's worth and you don't.
Wolfe Nero

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