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...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

La Rouchefoucauld

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Lady Whiteadder

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Lafferty R. A.

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

Lai Chou En

"There is a God, but He drinks"

Lampoon The Harvard

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Landers Ann

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Lang Andrew

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Langan L.M.

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Lao Tsu

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Lara Michael

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Lara Michael

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Lardner David

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Lardner Ring

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

Lardner Ring

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Larry Niven

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Larsen Dalglish

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Larson Erik

"They make a desert and call it peace."

Lascl Christopher

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Lazarus Long

When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

LeBoutillier J.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

LeGuin Ursula K.

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Lear King

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Leary Tim

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Lebowitz Fran

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Lebowitz Fran

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Lebowitz Fran

A man's house is his castle.

Lebowitz Fran

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Leghorn Foghorn

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Leghorn Foghorn

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Leghorn Foghorn

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Lehman John

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Lehrer Tom

Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Lehrer Tom

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Lehrer Tom

Littering is dumb.

Lem Stanislaw

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Lem Stanislaw

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Len Cool

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Lennon John

Nothing succeeds like success.

Lennon John

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."

Leo Rosten

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

LeoGrande William

All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

Leopardi Giacomo

The goys have proven the following theorem...

Lerner Max

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.

Leslie Stephen

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Leslie Stephen

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Lester Julius

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

Letterman David

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Letterman David

Practice yourself what you preach.

Letterman David

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Letterman David

Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to all your troubles.

Letterman David

Art is a jealous mistress.

Letterman David

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Letterman David

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Letterman David

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Levant Oscar

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Levant Oscar

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Levin Bernard

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Levine Joseph E.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Levinson Leonard

Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

Lew Sinclair

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Lewin Ralph

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Lewis C.S.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Lewis C.S.

Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.

Lewis Joe E.

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Lewis Joe E.

Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Lewis Richard

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Lewis Sinclair

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Lewis Thomas

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Li Woman's

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Li Mark Twain

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Lie Trygve

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Liebling A.J.

Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Liebling A.J.

The time was the 19th of May, 1780. The place was Hartford, Connecticut. The day has gone down in New England history as a terrible foretaste of Judgement Day. For at noon the skies turned from blue to grey and by mid-afternoon had blackened over s

Liepmann Hans

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Lilly John

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Lincoln A.

The white race is the cancer of history.

Lincoln Abraham

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Lincoln Abraham

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Lincoln Abraham

He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Lincoln Abraham

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Lincoln Abraham

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Lincoln Abraham

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Lincoln Abraham

question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;

Lincoln Abraham

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Lindbergh Charles

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Ling James J.

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Lippmann Walter

It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of one's life and then come round.

Lippmann Walter

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Little Mary Wilson

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Little Rich

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Lloyd Kaufman

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Lo graffito in

Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Locke John

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Lockridge Ross

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Long Lazarus

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Long Lazarus

The farther you go, the less you know.

Long Lazarus

A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

Long Lazarus

"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Long Lazarus

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Long Lazarus

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Long Lazarus

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Long Lazarus

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Long Lazarus

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Long Lazarus

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Long Russell

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Longfellow H.W.

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Longworth A. R.

What one fool can do, another can.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Loo Lewis Carroll

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

Louder P.G

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

Louder P.G.

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Louisi Edwin Edwards

... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Lowell James Russell

I owe the public nothing.

Lowell Robert

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Lowell James Russell

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Lubbock John

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Luce C.B.

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

Luce Clare Booth

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Lucinda Childs

... we must not judge the society of the future by considering whether or not we should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up in it will be happier than those who have grown up in our society or those of the past.

Lula Pace Ripley

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Lumsden Marshall

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Lur Terry Pratchett

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Lustbader Eric Van

"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Luten Daniel B.

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

Luten Daniel B.

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

Luther Martin

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Luther Martin

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Luther Martin

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Lyly John

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.


[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

lose. until you

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He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
Johnson Samuel

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