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A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

La Rouchefoucauld


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Lady Whiteadder


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Lafferty R. A.


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Lai Chou En


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Lampoon The Harvard


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Landers Ann


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Lang Andrew


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Langan L.M.


Genius is pain.

Lao Tsu


Practice yourself what you preach.

Lara Michael


To have died once is enough.

Lara Michael


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Lardner David


A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Lardner Ring


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Lardner Ring


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Larry Niven


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Larsen Dalglish


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Larson Erik


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Lascl Christopher


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Laukikanyay.


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Lazarus


Knowledge is power.

Lazarus Long


I'm glad I was not born before tea.

LeBoutillier J.


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

LeGuin Ursula K.


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Lear King


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Leary Tim


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Lebowitz Fran


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Lebowitz Fran


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Lebowitz Fran


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Lebowitz Fran


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Leghorn Foghorn


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Leghorn Foghorn


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Leghorn Foghorn


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Lehman John


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Lehrer Tom


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Lehrer Tom


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Lehrer Tom


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Lem Stanislaw


The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Lem Stanislaw


I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Len Cool


Turn the other cheek.

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Lenin


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Lennon John


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Lennon John


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Leo Rosten


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

LeoGrande William


A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Leopardi Giacomo


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Lerner Max


If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Leslie Stephen


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Leslie Stephen


The world wants to be deceived.

Lester Julius


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Letterman David


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Letterman David


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Letterman David


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Letterman David


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Letterman David


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Letterman David


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Letterman David


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Letterman David


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Levant Oscar


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Levant Oscar


The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Levin Bernard


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Levine Joseph E.


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Levinson Leonard


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Lew Sinclair


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Lewin Ralph


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Lewis C.S.


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Lewis C.S.


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Lewis Joe E.


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Lewis Joe E.


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Lewis Richard


The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Lewis Sinclair


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Lewis Thomas


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Li Woman's


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Li Mark Twain


If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Lie Trygve


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Liebling A.J.


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Liebling A.J.


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Liepmann Hans


Beggars should be no choosers.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Lilly John


It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Lincoln A.


"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Lincoln Abraham


Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Lincoln Abraham


I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

Lincoln Abraham


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Lincoln Abraham


I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Lincoln Abraham


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Lincoln Abraham


Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Lincoln Abraham


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Lincoln Abraham


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Lindbergh Charles


When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Ling James J.


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Lippmann Walter


Go away, I'm all right.

Lippmann Walter


Mum's the word.

Little Mary Wilson


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Little Rich


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Lloyd Kaufman


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Lo graffito in


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Locke John


A man's house is his castle.

Lockridge Ross


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Long Lazarus


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Long Lazarus


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Long Lazarus


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Long Lazarus


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Long Lazarus


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Long Lazarus


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Long Lazarus


All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Long Lazarus


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Long Lazarus


What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Long Lazarus


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Long Russell


The optimum committee has no members.

Longfellow H.W.


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Longworth A. R.


What fools these mortals be.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


So little time, so little to do.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


All phone calls are obscene.

Loo Lewis Carroll


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Louder P.G


If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Louder P.G.


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


There's no justice in this world.

Louisi Edwin Edwards


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Lowell James Russell


"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Lowell Robert


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Lowell James Russell


Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Lubbock John


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Luce C.B.


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Luce Clare Booth


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Lucinda Childs


A dead man cannot bite.

Lula Pace Ripley


Odets, where is thy sting?

Lumsden Marshall


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Lur Terry Pratchett


Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Lustbader Eric Van


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Luten Daniel B.


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Luten Daniel B.


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Luther Martin


A snake lurks in the grass.

Luther Martin


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Luther Martin


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Lyly John


Leave no stone unturned.

Lynch


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

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A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
Shaw G. B.

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