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From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

La Rouchefoucauld


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Lady Whiteadder


My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Lafferty R. A.


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Lai Chou En


Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Lampoon The Harvard


Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Landers Ann


The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Lang Andrew


If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Langan L.M.


Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Lao Tsu


Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Lara Michael


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Lara Michael


The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Lardner David


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Lardner Ring


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Lardner Ring


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Larry Niven


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Larsen Dalglish


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Larson Erik


"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Lascl Christopher


Practice is the best of all instructors.

Laukikanyay.


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Lazarus


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Lazarus Long


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

LeBoutillier J.


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

LeGuin Ursula K.


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Lear King


Set the cart before the horse.

Leary Tim


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Lebowitz Fran


So little time, so little to do.

Lebowitz Fran


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Lebowitz Fran


Look before you leap.

Lebowitz Fran


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Leghorn Foghorn


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Leghorn Foghorn


All is well that ends well.

Leghorn Foghorn


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Lehman John


Piece of cake!

Lehrer Tom


Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Lehrer Tom


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Lehrer Tom


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Lem Stanislaw


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Lem Stanislaw


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Len Cool


It is better to have loved and lost

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Lenin


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Lennon John


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Lennon John


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Leo Rosten


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

LeoGrande William


Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Leopardi Giacomo


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Lerner Max


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Leslie Stephen


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Leslie Stephen


Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Lester Julius


"Life is too important to take seriously."

Letterman David


History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Letterman David


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Letterman David


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Letterman David


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Letterman David


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Letterman David


The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Letterman David


When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Letterman David


Save the Whales

Levant Oscar


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Levant Oscar


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Levin Bernard


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Levine Joseph E.


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Levinson Leonard


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Lew Sinclair


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Lewin Ralph


If you want divine justice, die.

Lewis C.S.


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Lewis C.S.


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Lewis Joe E.


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Lewis Joe E.


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Lewis Richard


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Lewis Sinclair


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Lewis Thomas


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Li Woman's


If God is One, what is bad?

Li Mark Twain


We're all in this alone.

Lie Trygve


It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Liebling A.J.


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Liebling A.J.


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Liepmann Hans


Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Lilly John


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Lincoln A.


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Lincoln Abraham


It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Lincoln Abraham


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Lincoln Abraham


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Lincoln Abraham


Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Lincoln Abraham


Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Lincoln Abraham


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Lincoln Abraham


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Lincoln Abraham


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Lindbergh Charles


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Ling James J.


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Lippmann Walter


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Lippmann Walter


The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Little Mary Wilson


In charity there is no excess.

Little Rich


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Lloyd Kaufman


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Lo graffito in


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Locke John


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Lockridge Ross


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Long Lazarus


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Long Lazarus


Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Long Lazarus


Odets, where is thy sting?

Long Lazarus


Things are not always what they seem.

Long Lazarus


Practice yourself what you preach.

Long Lazarus


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Long Lazarus


Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Long Lazarus


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Long Lazarus


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Long Lazarus


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Long Russell


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Longfellow H.W.


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Longworth A. R.


Anything is possible on paper.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Haste makes waste.

Loo Lewis Carroll


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Louder P.G


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Louder P.G.


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Louisi Edwin Edwards


It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Lowell James Russell


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Lowell Robert


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Lowell James Russell


There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Lubbock John


Nothing succeeds like success.

Luce C.B.


To do two things at once is to do neither.

Luce Clare Booth


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Lucinda Childs


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Lula Pace Ripley


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Lumsden Marshall


I will make you shorter by the head.

Lur Terry Pratchett


"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Lustbader Eric Van


Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Luten Daniel B.


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Luten Daniel B.


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Luther Martin


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Luther Martin


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Luther Martin


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Lyly John


You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Lynch


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

lose. until you





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The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Mencken H.L.

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