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If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

M Hawkeye

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Mabbitt Ronald

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Mabley Moms

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

MacDonald Dwight

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

MacDonald Ross

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Macaulay Thomas

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Macdonald Ronald

[The members of the Chamberlain government] are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful for impotency.


If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Machiavelli Niccolo

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Machineri R. Bradbury

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Madariaga Salvador De

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Madison James

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.

Mahabharata The

If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Mahabharata. The

I love mankind ... It's people I hate.


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Maher Bill

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Mailer Norman

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Maistre Joseph De

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.


He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Malraux Andre

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Mamet David

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Man Little Big

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Manners Miss

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Manson Charles

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Manson Charles

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Manua Princess Irulan

The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

Manville Tommy

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Manville Tommy

BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Manville Tommy

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.

Margaret Mitchell

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Mari Clive James on

Some days you wake and immediately start worrying. Nothing in particular is wrong, it's just the suspicion that forces are aligning quietly and there will be trouble.

Mark Twain

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Mark Twain

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Mark Twain

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet, challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents itself before us

Mark Twain

It is the business of little minds to shrink.

Mark Twain

When the sun shineth, make hay.

Mark Twain

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Mark Twain

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Mark Twain

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

Mark Twain

I'll never get off this planet.

Mark Twain

With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a half.

Marlon Brando

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Marlowe Christopher

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Marlowe Christopher

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Marlowe Christopher

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Marlowe Christopher

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.

Marquis Don

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Marquis Don

Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as "Garfield Gets Spayed", and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence"

Marquis Don

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Marquis Don

There is always something new out of Africa.

Marr Bill

Come home America.

Marshall Brickman

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Marshall Thurgood

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Martin Steve

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Martin Thomas L.

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.


I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c


Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.

Martin Steve

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Martin Steve

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Martin Susanna

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Martin' Kin Hubbard

It's not easy, being green.

Marx Groucho

The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Marx Groucho

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.


New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Masterson Bat

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Mathis Andrew W.

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Mau W. Somerset

The Least Successful Collector Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of t

Maugh W. Somerset

Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Maugham Somerset

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Maugham Somerset

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Maugham W. Somerset

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Maugham W. Somerset

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

Maugham W.S.

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

Maugham W. Somerset

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Max Beerbohm

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Mayfield E.J.

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Mayonnaise Hellman's

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Mayor Kevin White

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

McAfee Ron

The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my government because they could not keep up.

McCabe Charles

Events are not affected, they develop.

McCall Cash

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

McCarthy Charlie

You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me from your own life. May it all turn out to your happiness.

McCarthy Charlie

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

McCarthy Eugene

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

McCarthy Eugene

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

McCorkle Julia Norton

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

McDaniel Hattie

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

McEvoy J. P.

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

McGee Travis

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

McGovern George

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

McGuire Al

Usually, when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

McIntire Carl

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

McLeod Thom

... [after the announcement of Vanguard] ... Secretary of Defense Charles Wilson (the same "Engine Charlie" who once told the Senate, "[F]or years I've thought that what was good for our country was good for General Motors, and vice versa," probably

McLuhan. Marshall

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

McShane Michael

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Mead Margaret

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

Medawar Sir Peter

Home is where the hurt is.

Meese Ed

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Meir Golda

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Melvin Belli

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.


Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.


If I love you, what business is it of yours?


We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.

Mencken H. L.

When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

Mencken H. L.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Mencken H. L.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Mencken H. L.

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

Mencken H. L.

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Mencken H. L.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Mencken H. L.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Mencken H. L.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Mencken H.L.

"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"

Mencken H.L.

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Mencken H.L.

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Mencken H.L.

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Mencken H.L.

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Mencken H.L.

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Mencken H.L.

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Mencken H.L.

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Mencken H.L.

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Mencken H.L.

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Mencken H.L.

War is like love, it always finds a way.

Mencken H.L.

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Mencken H.L.

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Mencken H.L.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Mencken H.L.

Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

Mencken H.L.

Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Mencken H.L.

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Mencken H.L.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Mengot Roy

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Meredith George

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

Meredith Owen

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

Metrop Fran Lebowitz

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Mex Jack Handley

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Mex Jack Handley The New

A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Mex Jack Handley The New

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Meyrowitz N.

The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it is your move.

Michael Levin

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Michael Levin

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Michael Winner British

Tip O'Neill is just like Congress; old, fat and out of control.


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Michener James A.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Midler Bette

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Mike Harding

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Mike Harding

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

Mill John Stuart

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Mill Dennis

April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.


I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Miller Arthur

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Miller Arthur R.

In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Miller Dennis

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Miller Dennis

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Miller Dennis

I am examining you on your fool ideas that no intelligent Christian on earth believes.

Miller Dennis

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Miller. Olin

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Millman Dave

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.


Set the cart before the horse.


Mum's the word.

Milton John

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Milton John

I use not only all the brains I have, but all those I can borrow as well.

Milton John

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Mitchell Gener

We prefer to believe that the absence of inverted commas guarantees the originality of a thought, whereas it may be merely that the utterer has forgotten its source.


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Mizner Wilson

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Mizner Wilson

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Mizner Wilson

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Mizner Wilson

The Least Successful Police Dogs America has a very strong candidate in "La Dur", a fearsome looking schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida in 1978. He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or of

Moffitt James

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.


Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Montagu Lady M.W.

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Montague Charles Edward

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Montaigne Michel Eyquem de

If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.

Montaigne Michel de

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Montaigne Michel de

Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then do what's best.


I'll turn over a new leaf.


Nice boy, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.


They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.

Moore Steven

We must remember that in time of war what is said on the enemy's side of the front is always propaganda and what is said on our side of the front is truth and righteousness, the cause of humanity and a crusade for peace.

Moose Bullwinkle

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Moravia Alberto

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in a world in which happiness is al

More Sir Thomas

If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.

Morgan J.P.

I realize that the MX missile is none of our concern. I realize that the whole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we can be free to concern ourselves wi

Morgan J.P.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Morgan J.P.

Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.

Morley Christopher

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Morley Christopher

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.

Morley Christopher

I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people... Certainty is just an emotion.

Morley Christopher

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Morley John Viscount

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Morris William

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.


We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Moses Robert

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Moses Robert

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Moss Stirling

A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is

Mostel Zero

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Mother Karl Marx's

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.


What's a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority.


Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Muggeridge Malcolm

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Mull Martin

Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Munr H.H.

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Munro H.H.

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

Murray Bill

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Muscha Jerry

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Muskie Senator Edmund

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

Musselman Bill

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Musset Alfred De

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