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The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

M Hawkeye


And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

Mabbitt Ronald


He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Mabley Moms


Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

MacDonald Dwight


The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

MacDonald Ross


I have a very strange feeling about this...

Macaulay Thomas


Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Macdonald Ronald


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Machiavelli


In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Machiavelli Niccolo


People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Machineri R. Bradbury


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Madariaga Salvador De


Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Madison James


History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Madonna


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Mahabharata The


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Mahabharata. The


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Maharbal


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Maher Bill


Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Mailer Norman


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Maistre Joseph De


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Making


Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Malraux Andre


If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Mamet David


In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Man Little Big


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Manners Miss


Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Manson Charles


War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

Manson Charles


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Manua Princess Irulan


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Manville Tommy


Remember folks. Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

Manville Tommy


Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.

Manville Tommy


Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Marcus Tullius Cicero


What you don't know won't help you much either.

Margaret Mitchell


I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Mari Clive James on


Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organisation of hatreds.

Mark Twain


In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Mark Twain


You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Mark Twain


I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Mark Twain


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Mark Twain


Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Mark Twain


I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

Mark Twain


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Mark Twain


Every why hath a wherefore.

Mark Twain


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Mark Twain


He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Marlon Brando


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Marlowe Christopher


Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Marlowe Christopher


Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Marlowe Christopher


All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Marlowe Christopher


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Marquis Don


Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Marquis Don


"Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."

Marquis Don


The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

Marquis Don


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Marr Bill


You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Marshall Brickman


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Marshall Thurgood


Poverty must have its satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.

Martin Steve


TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Martin Thomas L.


The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.

Martin


I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Martin


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Martin


Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Martin Steve


I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Martin Steve


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Martin Susanna


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Martin' Kin Hubbard


Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Marx Groucho


Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down, and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soo

Marx Groucho


Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Maslow


The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Masterson Bat


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Mathis Andrew W.


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Mau W. Somerset


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Maugh W. Somerset


They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.

Maugham Somerset


Art is a jealous mistress.

Maugham Somerset


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Maugham W. Somerset


The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Maugham W. Somerset


Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Maugham W.S.


The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Maugham W. Somerset


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Max Beerbohm


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Mayfield E.J.


"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Mayonnaise Hellman's


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Mayor Kevin White


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

McAfee Ron


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

McCabe Charles


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

McCall Cash


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

McCarthy Charlie


An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself equally in small as in great matters.

McCarthy Charlie


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

McCarthy Eugene


I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

McCarthy Eugene


Such evil deeds could religion prompt.

McCorkle Julia Norton


You can never do just one thing.

McDaniel Hattie


During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

McEvoy J. P.


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

McGee Travis


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

McGovern George


"Life is too important to take seriously."

McGuire Al


The man who runs may fight again.

McIntire Carl


The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

McLeod Thom


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

McLuhan. Marshall


"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."

McShane Michael


The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.

Mead Margaret


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Medawar Sir Peter


Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Meese Ed


"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."

Meir Golda


None love the bearer of bad news.

Melvin Belli


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Menander


The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Menander


Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usu

Menander


There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Mencken H. L.


Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Mencken H. L.


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Mencken H. L.


Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Mencken H. L.


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Mencken H. L.


Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Mencken H. L.


If people say that here and there someone has been taken away and maltreated, I can only reply: You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Mencken H. L.


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Mencken H. L.


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Mencken H.L.


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Mencken H.L.


No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Mencken H.L.


AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE!

Mencken H.L.


"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Mencken H.L.


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Mencken H.L.


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Mencken H.L.


"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Mencken H.L.


Don't guess

Mencken H.L.


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Mencken H.L.


The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Mencken H.L.


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Mencken H.L.


Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Mencken H.L.


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Mencken H.L.


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Mencken H.L.


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Mencken H.L.


So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Mencken H.L.


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Mencken H.L.


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Mengot Roy


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Meredith George


When you're in command, command.

Meredith Owen


A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Metrop Fran Lebowitz


Big book, big bore.

Mex Jack Handley


Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Mex Jack Handley The New


"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Mex Jack Handley The New


Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Meyrowitz N.


I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Michael Levin


What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Michael Levin


You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Michael Winner British


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Michelangelo


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Michener James A.


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Midler Bette


When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Mike Harding


Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Mike Harding


Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Mill John Stuart


If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Mill Dennis


A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Miller


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Miller Arthur


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Miller Arthur R.


I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Miller Dennis


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Miller Dennis


Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Miller Dennis


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Miller Dennis


He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Miller. Olin


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Millman Dave


Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Milne


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Milton


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Milton John


Never buy from a rich salesman.

Milton John


America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

Milton John


"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Mitchell Gener


If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

Miyamot


Russia has abolished God, but so far God has been more tolerant.

Mizner Wilson


Set the cart before the horse.

Mizner Wilson


Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Mizner Wilson


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Mizner Wilson


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Moffitt James


Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

Moliere


Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Montagu Lady M.W.


XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Montague Charles Edward


Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

Montaigne Michel Eyquem de


Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

Montaigne Michel de


Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Montaigne Michel de


The scum also rises.

Montesquieu


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Montesquieu


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Montesquieu


It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Moore Steven


Freedom is nothing else but the chance to do better.

Moose Bullwinkle


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Moravia Alberto


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

More Sir Thomas


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Morgan J.P.


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Morgan J.P.


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Morgan J.P.


We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Morley Christopher


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Morley Christopher


It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Morley Christopher


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Morley Christopher


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Morley John Viscount


I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

Morris William


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Morrisey


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Moses Robert


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Moses Robert


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Moss Stirling


Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Mostel Zero


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Mother Karl Marx's


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Muad'dib


The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Muad'dib


I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Muggeridge Malcolm


Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young.

Mull Martin


Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Munr H.H.


One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Munro H.H.


There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Murray Bill


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Muscha Jerry


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Muskie Senator Edmund


My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Musselman Bill


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Musset Alfred De





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If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.
Wicker Tom

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