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Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

P Harry Thurston

I will make you shorter by the head.

Pa Long Chen

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Pa Jessie

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Paar Jack

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Paar Jack

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Paine Thomas

I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Paine Thomas

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Palindromist The Mad

"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

Parker Dorothy

The best you get is an even break.

Parker Dorothy

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Parker Dorothy

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Parker Dorothy

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Parker Dorothy

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Parker Dorothy

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Parker Dorthy

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Parker Robert

Leave no stone unturned.


Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Parkinson C.N.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Parkinson C.N.

While there's life, there's hope.

Parnas Dave

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Pascal Blaise

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Pascal Blaise

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Pascal Blaise

Nothing endures but change.

Pasteur L.

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Pat Cadigan

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Pat Cadigan

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Patricia O Tuama

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Patrick Saint

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Paul Erdman

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Paul Tillich German

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Pelt Lucy Van

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Penn Jillette

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Penn William

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Perce Chief Joseph

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Perelman S.J.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Perlis Alan J.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Peter Irene

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Peter Laurence

You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

Peter Laurence J.

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Peter Laurence J.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Peter Stack

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Peter Straub

The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

Petronius Gaius

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.


He is now rising from affluence to poverty.


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Philip Hale Boston

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Philips Emo

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Phillips Emo

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Phillips Utah

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Physicist John von Neumann

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.


San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.


Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Picasso Pablo

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Pike Bishop James

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Pile Stephen

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Pile Stephen

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Pile Stephen

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Pile Stephen

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Pile Stephen

God helps them that help themselves.


A word to the wise is enough.


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Pintauro Joseph

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Pirsig Robert

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Platford Lois

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"


What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue but fitness. The weak and the


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men


Real wealth can only increase.


Nothing recedes like success.


Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Plautus Titus Maccius

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Plautus Titus Maccius

You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Plautus Titus Maccius

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Player Willis

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Plummer Christopher

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.


So little time, so little to do.

Pollard John G.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.


Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Pope Alexander

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Pope Alexander

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Pope John Paul

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Pope St. Gregory

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Poppins Mary

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Postmas James

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Pournelle Niven and

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Powers Richard

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Prabhupada Swami

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Prentice George D.

There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

President Pat Paulsen for

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Presley Elvis

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Presley Elvis

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Price Don

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Prochnow Herbert

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Prochnow Herbert V.

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Professor English

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Proust M.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Proverb A Yippie

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Proverb Ancient Simian

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Proverb Chinese

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Proverb Chinese

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Proverb Recent Chinese

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Pryne Hester

Two heads are better than one.


Save the Whales


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Publius Ovidius Naso

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Publius Terentius Afer

The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been more like fourteen.

Publius Terentius Afer

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Publius Terentius Afer

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Publius Terentius Afer

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Publius Vergilius Maro

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Publius Vergilius Maro

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Publius Vergilius Maro

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Publius Vergilius Maro

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Pulitzer Joseph

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Pusey Nathan

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Python Monty

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

prayer Medieval

To generalize is to be an idiot.

proverb Arab

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

proverb Arabian

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

proverb Chinese

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

proverb Chinese

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

proverb Chinese

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

proverb Chinese

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

proverb Chinese

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

proverb Chinese

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

proverb Chinese

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

proverb Indian

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

proverb Italian

"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

proverb Polish

Well begun is half done.

proverb Spanish

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

proverb Turkish

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

proverb. Scottish

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Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!
Asterix Adventures of

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