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I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

S. Paige


Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Sabbath Black


If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Sade Marquis


Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.

Sagan Carl


When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Sagan Carl


This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in a world in which happiness is al

Saint-Exupery Antoine de


What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.

Saint-Exupery Antoine de


I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

Saint-Exupery Antoine de


October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Saki Tre


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Salinger J. D.


You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Salvor Hardin


Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Samuel Beckett


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Samuel Butler


Think sideways!

Samuel Johnson


Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Samuels Jim


Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Samuels Jim


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Sandburg Carl


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Sandburg Carl


It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

Sandburg Carl


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Sandra Gotlieb


Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Santayana George


Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.

Santayana George


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Santayana George


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Santayana George


You get what you pay for.

Sartre Jean Paul


Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism.

Sartre Jean-Paul


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Sartre Jean-Paul


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Satie Erik


Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Sayle Alexie


It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the management of them.

Sayre Wallace


What!? Me worry?

Schaeberle R.


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Schenk R.E.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Schiller Friedrich


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Schlafly Phyllis


The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.

Schmidt


My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Schmidt Dr. Harrison H.


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Schopenhauer


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Schopenhauer


The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.

Schrodinger Edwim


The mirror sees the man as beautiful, the mirror loves the man; another mirror sees the man as frightful and hates him; and it is always the same being who produces the impressions.

Schultz C.


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Schulz


VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Schulz


Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan. Sometimes people are just begging for that frypan, and if we weaken for a moment and honor t

Schulz C.


A witty saying proves nothing.

Schulz Charles


Old age is the harbor of all ills.

Schwambach Stephen R.


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Schweitzer A.


Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

Schweitzer Albert


"Avoid revolution or expect to get shot. Mother and I will grieve, but we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you."

Schweitzer Albert


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Scott


English literature's performing flea.

Scott Gene


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Secundus Gaius Plinius


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Seeger Pete


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Seldon Nick


Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Sendak Maurice


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Seneca


Another day, another dollar.

Seneca


Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

Seneca Lucius Annaeus


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Seneca Lucius Annaeus


The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit hits a pe

Seneca Lucius Annaeus


It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

Seneca Lucius Annaeus


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Serling Rod


The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Sevareid Eric


The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Sevig Mme De


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Shake William


If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

Shake William


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Shake William


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Shake William


Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Shake William


Don't vote

Shake William


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Shake William


The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Shake William


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Shake William


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Shake William


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Shake William


One would like to stroke and caress human beings, but one dares not do so, because they bite.

Shakes William


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Shakes William


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Shakesp William


Men are superior to women.

Shakesp William


Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Shakesp William


The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

Shakespea Wm.


"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this price. *Carpe diem*, babe!"

Shakespear


The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Shakespear William


I've got Hubert's pecker in my pocket.

Shakespear William


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Shakespear William


I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.

Shakespear William


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Shakespear William


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Shakespeare


In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Shakespeare


Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Shakespeare


A is for Apple.

Shakespeare


If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Shakespeare


When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Shakespeare


Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Shakespeare William


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Shakespeare Wm.


Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.

Shakespeare Wm.


He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Shakespeare


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Shakespeare


The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Shakespeare


It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

Shakespeare


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Shakespeare


I don't understand what all the fuss was about in Los Angeles. It's not like we looted Brooks Brothers when Oliver North got off.

Shakespeare


Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Shakespeare


Vice-President Hubert Humphrey's loquacity is legendary, and Barry Goldwater notes that "Hubert has been clocked at 275 words a minute with gusts up to 340." On the campaign trail during 1964, Republican nominee Barry Goldwater stated, "The imme

Shakespeare


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Shakespeare


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Shakespeare


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Shakespeare


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Shakespeare


It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.

Shakespeare


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Shakespeare


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Shakespeare William


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Shakespeare William


Experience teaches you that the man who looks you straight in the eye, particularly if he adds a firm handshake, is hiding something.

Shakespeare William


Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Shakespeare William


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Shakespeare William


I don't mind arguing with myself. It's when I lose that it bothers me.

Shakespeare William


Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Shakespeare William


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Shakespeare William


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Shakespeare William


You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

Shakespeare William


Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

Shakespeare William


Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Shakespeare William


There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Shakespeare William


In Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of assassination.

Shakespeare William


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Shakespeare William


Hate the sin and love the sinner.

Shakespeare William


You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

Shakespeare William


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Shakespeare Wm.


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Shan Wayne


It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Shannon Wayne


Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Shaw G. B.


One good turn deserves another.

Shaw G. B.


God helps them that help themselves.

Shaw G.B.


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Shaw G.B.


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Shaw G.B.


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Shaw G.B.


A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Shaw G.B.


"Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else. He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!" "Which is what we do to anyone

Shaw G.B.


In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.

Shaw G.B.


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Shaw G.B.


The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Shaw George Bernard


"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

Shaw George Bernard


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Shaw George Bernard


There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Shaw George Bernard


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Shaw George Bernard


In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.

Shaw George Bernard


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Shaw George Bernard


No two persons ever read the same book.

Shaw George Bernard


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Shaw George Bernard


You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.

Shaw George Bernard


Evil is that which one believes of others. It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

Shaw George Bernard


It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

Shaw G. B.


It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

Shaw George Bernard


I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Shaw Pygmali


Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they are another's.

Shawn Wally


If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

Shay R.E.


We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Shelton Richard


The man who raises a fist has run out of ideas.

Shepard Paul


The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it is your move.

Sheridan


Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Sherlock Holmes


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Sherlock Holmes


Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Sherlock Holmes


Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Shields Brooke


Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Shirley


What you don't know won't help you much either.

Shirley Hazzard


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Shirley Jackson


You shouldn't wallow in self-pity. But it's OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.

Shoaff Edgar A.


Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Shoales Ian


Man belongs wherever he wants to go.

Sidney


We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Sidney Greenstreet


Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

Sidney Paternoster


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Sidney Smith


Fear is the greatest salesman.

Siegel Corky


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Siegel


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Silve James Cabell


Don't guess

Simon Paul


The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Simpson Bart


[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Sinbad


But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them?

Sinbad


"First World" nations are the ones where people drive Japanese cars; "Second World" nations are where First World residents go on vacation; and "Third World" nations are the ones where people still dive out of trees to prove their manhood.

Sinclair John


They use different words for things in America. For instance they say elevator and we say lift. They say drapes and we say curtains. They say president and we say brain damaged git.

Sinclair Lewis


Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Skinner B.F.


I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.

Sky Patrick


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Skywalker Luke


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Skywalker Luke


The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Skywalker Luke


Don't despise your poor relations, they may become suddenly rich one day.

Skywalker Luke


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Sloan John


You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower, start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.

Smith Alexander


I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Smith Alvy Ray


Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Smith Evelyn E.


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Smith H. Allen


To teach is to learn twice.

Smith J. Winter


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Smith Jonathan Michael


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Smith Malcolm


Russia has abolished God, but so far God has been more tolerant.

Smith Mike


There is no proverb that is not true.

Smith Nancy Banks


WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Smith Red


Humans are communications junkies. We just can't get enough.

Smith Sydney


[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Smith Allen


When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this was bound to happen in a democratic system. However, we National Socialists never asserted that we represented a democratic point of view, but we have declared openly that

Smith Allen


"I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true."

Smith v. Moran


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Smith v. Moran


There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

Smith v. Moran


If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

Smithsonian Maga


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Smolla Rodney


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Smollet Tobias


I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Sneyd Doug


In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Snoopy


No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.

Snoopy


How many "coming men" has one known! Where on earth do they all go to?

Snow C. P.


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Snow Carrie


Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Soaper Senator


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Soc Michael Levin


It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.

Socrates


I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Socrates


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Socrates


Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Solo Han


It's not easy, being green.

Solo Han


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Solo Han


A place for everything and everything in its place.

Solo Han


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Solo Han


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Solo Han


War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

Solo Han


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Solo Han


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Solzhenitsyn Aleksandr I.


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Solzhenitsyn Aleksandr I.


The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Somoza Anastasio


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Sondheim Stephen


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Sontag Susan


They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Sontag Susan


The streets were dark with something more than night.

Sontag Susan


Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Sophocles


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Sophocles


Leave no stone unturned.

Soul Messiah


He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Soul Messiah


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Southern Terry


We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

Southern Terry


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Southern Terry


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Spartacus


Last guys don't finish nice.

Speer Albert


Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.

Spider Robinson


Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Spinoza


Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Spr Robert D.


It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Spurgeon Charles


If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Stalin Joseph


You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Stalin Joseph


Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Stalin Joseph


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Stalin Joseph


If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Stallman R.


The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Stamp Sir Josiah


We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Stand


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Stanislaw J. Lem


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Stanislaw J. Lem


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Stanislaw Lem


If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Stanislaw Lem


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Stanley Kelley


There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Starfighter The Last


Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Stasheff Christopher


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Steinbeck John


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Steinem Gloria


The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Stekel Wilhelm


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Stendhal


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Stephen Leslie


If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Stephen Coonts


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Stephen Pile


Al Gore resembled a Vulcan desperately in need of a blow job.

Stephen Pile


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Stern Jerome


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Stevenson Adlai


Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're leading the parade.

Stevenson Adlai


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Stevenson Adlai


Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

Stevenson Adlai


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Stevenson Adlai


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Stevenson Adlai


I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

Stevenson Robert Louis


A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Stevenson Robert Louis


It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Stevenson Robert Louis


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Stevenson Robert Louis


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Stimson Henry


Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Stinnett Caskie


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Stolberg Benjamin


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Stone I.F.


The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Stone Judge Harold T.


The language of politics is poetry, not prose. Jackson is poetry. Cuomo is poetry. Dukakis is a word processor.

Stone Judge Harold T.


You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m. anyway.

Stone Robert


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Stone W. Clement


What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?

Stoppard Tom


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Stoppard Tom


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Storm Johnny


It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

Strachey Lionel


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Strange de Jim


Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Strangers Lovers and Other


Man proposes, God disposes.

Stravinsky


Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Sturgeon Theodore


"You and I as individuals can, by borrowing, live beyond our means, but only for a limited period of time. Why should we think that collectively, as a nation, we are not bound by that same limitation?"

Summer Graham


They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Sunday Billy


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Superchicken


Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello is fatal to a virgin.

Surtees R.S.


Old age is always fifteen years old than I am.

Susan Brownmiller


Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Swan Paradi


No evil can happen to a good man.

Swayze John Cameron


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Swift Jonathan


If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Swift Jonathan


Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Swift Jonathan


If you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life.

Sylvan Kayvan


But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Syrus Publilius


For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.

Syrus Publilius


"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Syrus Publilius


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Syrus Publilius


There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day.

Syrus Publilius


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Syrus Publilius


"After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the cost to others, to win advancement."

Syrus Publilius


Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going to get hit.

Syrus Publilius


We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Syrus Publilius


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Syrus Publilius


I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Syrus Publilius


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Syrus Publius


My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Szasz Thomas


It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

Szasz Thomas


"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

saying Folk


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

saying Yiddish


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

sees it constantly





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