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If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

T.S. Eliot


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Tacitus


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Tacitus


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Tao Te Ching


What an artist dies with me!

Tarkin Governor


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Tarkington Booth


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Tarsus Paul of


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Taylor Elizabeth


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Temple Shirley


A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Tennant Harry


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Terry Pratchett


I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Terry Pratchett


It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Thatcher Margaret


The only reward of virtue is virtue.

The Outer Limits


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

The Squirrels


The streets were dark with something more than night.

Theophrastus


True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Thomas Dylan


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Thomas Dylan


We're all in this alone.

Thomas J. Parnell


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Thomas Marlo


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Thomas Marlo


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Thomas Norman


Too much of everything is just enough.

Thomas Carlyle


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Thomas Dave


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Thomas De Quincey


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Thomas De Quincey


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Thomas De Quincey


Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Thomas Jefferson


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Thomas King


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Thomas Macaulay


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Thomas W. Lamont


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Language is a virus from another planet.

Thompson H.S.


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Thompson Hunter S.


Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Thompson Hunter S.


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Thompson Ken


Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Thore Henry David


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Thoreau


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Thoreau H.D.


Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Thoreau Henry David


Flame on!

Thoreau Henry David


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Thoreau Henry David


What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Thoreau Henry David


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Thoreau Henry David


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Thoreau Henry David


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Thoreau Henry David


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Thoreau Henry David


If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Thoreau David Henry


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Thurber James


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Thurber James


Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Thurber James


Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Thurber James


You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Tikkanen Henrik


Confucius say too much.

Tiselius Arne


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Titus Livius


"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Tobaben


Look before you leap.

Tocqueville Alexis de


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Tokugawa Shogun


The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Tolkien J. R. R.


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Tolkien J. R. R.


There must be more to life than having everything.

Tolkien J. R. R.


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Tolkien J. R. R.


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Tolkien J.R.R.


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Tolkien J.R.R.


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Tolkien J.R.R.


If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Tolstoy


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Tolstoy


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Tolstoy


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Tolstoy


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Tolstoy Leo


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Tomash Erwin


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Tomlin Lily


Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Tomlin Lily


The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Tomlin Lily


Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Tomlin Lily


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Tomlin Lily


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Tomlin Lily


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Tomlin Lily


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Tourbillon


Forgive and forget.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Tr Leon


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Trend Motor


VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Trend Motor


The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Trend Motor


A witty saying proves nothing.

Trillin Calvin


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Trilling Lionel


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Trotsky


The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Trudeau P.E.


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Truman Harry


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Truman Harry


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Truman Harry S.


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Truman Harry S.


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Truman Harry S.


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Truman Harry S.


He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Truman President Harry S.


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Tsu Lao


A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Tsu Lao


Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Tsu Lao


Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Tsu Lao


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Tsu Lao


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Tsu Lao


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Tsu Lao


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Tsu Lao


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Tsu Lao


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Tsu Lao


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Tsu Lao


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Tsu Lao


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Tsu Lao


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Tsu Lao


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Tuc The mayor of


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Turgenev


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Turner Ted


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Turner Ted


The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Tusser Thomas


Many hands make light work.

Tusser Thomas


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Twain Mark


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Twain Mark


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Twain Mark


You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Twain Mark


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Twain Mark


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Twain Mark


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Twain Mark


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Twain Mark


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Twain Mark


God helps them that help themselves.

Twain Mark


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Twain Mark


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Twain Mark


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Twain Mark


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Twain Mark


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Twain Mark


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Twain Mark


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Twain Mark


God is Dead.

Twain Mark


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Twain Mark


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Twain Mark


Faith is under the left nipple.

Twain Mark


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Twain Mark


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Twain Mark


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Twain Mark


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Twain Mark


To have died once is enough.

Twain Mark


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Twain Mark


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Twain Mark


I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Twain Mark


We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Twain Mark


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Twain Mark


Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Twain Mark


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Twain Mark


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Twain Mark


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Twain Mark


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Twain Mark


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Twain Mark


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Twain Mark


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Twain Mark


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Twain Mark


Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Twain Mark


Don't get mad, get even.

Twain Mark


I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Twain Mark


Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Twain Mark


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Twain Mark


If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Twain Mark


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Twain Mark


"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Twain Mark


The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Twain Mark


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Twain Mark


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Twain Mark


Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Twain Mark


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Twain Mark


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Twain Mark


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Twain Mark


I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Twain Mark


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Twain Mark


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Twain Mark


Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Twain Mark


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Twain Mark


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Twain Mark


To do two things at once is to do neither.

Twain Mark


The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Twain Mark


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Twain Mark


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Twain Mark


Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Twain Mark


I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Twain Mark


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Twain Mark


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Twain Mark


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Twain Mark


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Twain Mark


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Twain Mark


There's no justice in this world.

Twain Mark


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Twain Mark


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Twain Mark


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Twain Mark


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Twain Mark


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Twain Mark


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Twain Mark


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Twain Mark


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Twain Mark


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Twain Mark


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Twain Mark


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Tweed Boss


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Tyger Frank


Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Tyroon Henry


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Tzu Chuang


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Tzu Chuang


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

them! it only encourages


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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