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The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

T.S. Eliot


Nothing recedes like success.

Tacitus


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Tacitus


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Tao Te Ching


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Tarkin Governor


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Tarkington Booth


Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Tarsus Paul of


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Taylor Elizabeth


Small is beautiful.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Temple Shirley


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Tennant Harry


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Terry Pratchett


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Terry Pratchett


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Texa J. Frank Dobie


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Thatcher Margaret


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

The Outer Limits


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

The Squirrels


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Theophrastus


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Thomas Dylan


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Thomas Dylan


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Thomas J. Parnell


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Thomas Marlo


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Thomas Marlo


Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Thomas Norman


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Thomas Carlyle


Don't guess

Thomas Dave


Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Thomas De Quincey


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Thomas De Quincey


Two heads are better than one.

Thomas De Quincey


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Thomas Jefferson


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Thomas King


The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Thomas Macaulay


Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Thomas W. Lamont


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible carpenter.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Thompson H.S.


None love the bearer of bad news.

Thompson Hunter S.


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Thompson Hunter S.


Practice is the best of all instructors.

Thompson Ken


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Thore Henry David


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Thoreau


Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Thoreau H.D.


I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

Thoreau Henry David


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Thoreau Henry David


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Thoreau Henry David


If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Thoreau Henry David


Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Thoreau Henry David


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Thoreau Henry David


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Thoreau Henry David


Never laugh at live dragons.

Thoreau Henry David


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Thoreau David Henry


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Thurber James


"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Thurber James


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Thurber James


I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Thurber James


A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Tikkanen Henrik


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Tiselius Arne


America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Titus Livius


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Tobaben


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Tocqueville Alexis de


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Tokugawa Shogun


All is well that ends well.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Tolkien J. R. R.


The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Tolkien J. R. R.


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Tolkien J. R. R.


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Tolkien J.R.R.


Mandrell: "You know what I think?" Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right?"

Tolkien J.R.R.


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Tolstoy


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Tolstoy


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Tolstoy


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Tolstoy


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Tolstoy Leo


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Tomash Erwin


I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Tomlin Lily


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Tomlin Lily


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Tomlin Lily


AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE!

Tomlin Lily


Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Tomlin Lily


"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Tomlin Lily


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Tomlin Lily


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Tourbillon


Art is a jealous mistress.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Tr Leon


Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Trend Motor


That's no moon...

Trend Motor


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Trend Motor


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Trillin Calvin


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Trilling Lionel


If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Trotsky


Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Trudeau P.E.


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Truman Harry


In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Truman Harry


Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Truman Harry S.


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Truman Harry S.


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Truman Harry S.


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Truman Harry S.


"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Truman President Harry S.


Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Tsu Lao


Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Tsu Lao


Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Tsu Lao


As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Tsu Lao


"Life is too important to take seriously."

Tsu Lao


What fools these mortals be.

Tsu Lao


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Tsu Lao


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Tsu Lao


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Tsu Lao


I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Tsu Lao


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Tsu Lao


My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Tsu Lao


Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Tsu Lao


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Tsu Lao


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Tuc The mayor of


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Turgenev


Well begun is half done.

Turner Ted


Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

Turner Ted


BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Tusser Thomas


There's no justice in this world.

Tusser Thomas


When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Twain Mark


Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Twain Mark


We're only in it for the volume.

Twain Mark


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Twain Mark


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Twain Mark


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Twain Mark


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Twain Mark


The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Twain Mark


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Twain Mark


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Twain Mark


A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Twain Mark


Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.

Twain Mark


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Twain Mark


No two persons ever read the same book.

Twain Mark


The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Twain Mark


What one fool can do, another can.

Twain Mark


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Twain Mark


Who's scruffy-looking?

Twain Mark


Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Twain Mark


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Twain Mark


In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Twain Mark


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Twain Mark


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Twain Mark


Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Twain Mark


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Twain Mark


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Twain Mark


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Twain Mark


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Twain Mark


Things are not always what they seem.

Twain Mark


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Twain Mark


The man who runs may fight again.

Twain Mark


Men are superior to women.

Twain Mark


One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Twain Mark


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Twain Mark


Nice guys finish last.

Twain Mark


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Twain Mark


It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Twain Mark


A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Twain Mark


There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Twain Mark


Better late than never.

Twain Mark


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Twain Mark


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Twain Mark


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Twain Mark


Language is a virus from another planet.

Twain Mark


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Twain Mark


One good turn asketh another.

Twain Mark


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Twain Mark


She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Twain Mark


I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Twain Mark


In the long run we are all dead.

Twain Mark


The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Twain Mark


I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Twain Mark


I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Twain Mark


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Twain Mark


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Twain Mark


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Twain Mark


"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Twain Mark


O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Twain Mark


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Twain Mark


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Twain Mark


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Twain Mark


A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Twain Mark


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Twain Mark


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Twain Mark


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Twain Mark


Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Twain Mark


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Twain Mark


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Twain Mark


So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Twain Mark


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Twain Mark


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Twain Mark


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Twain Mark


Twain Mark


There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Twain Mark


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Twain Mark


Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Twain Mark


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Twain Mark


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Twain Mark


I will make you shorter by the head.

Twain Mark


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Twain Mark


Business will be either better or worse.

Twain Mark


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Twain Mark


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Twain Mark


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Tweed Boss


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Tyger Frank


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Tyroon Henry


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Tzu Chuang


God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Tzu Chuang


Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

them! it only encourages


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.
Lardner David

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