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Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

W Smile

The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

W. Leo Rosten on

"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Wa Cleon Thucydides

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Wa Wanda

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Wade Harry V.

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Wagner Jane

If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.

Wagner Lichty &

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Wagner Michael J.

Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Walinsky Adam

I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Walker Stanley

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Wallace George

Piece of cake!

Wallace George

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Wallach. Carole

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say. "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints t


You don't have to be nice to people on the way up if you're not planning on coming back down.

War Oliver

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Ward A.

Everlasting peace will come to the world when the last man has slain the last but one.

Ward Artemus

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Ward Jay

Who's scruffy-looking?

Warhol Andy

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Warhol Andy

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Warhol Andy

"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."

Warner Jack

Haste makes waste.

Washington Booker T.

Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

Washington George

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Watts Alan

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Wau Evelyn

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Way Glaser and

You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Weaver Ken

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Webber Dean

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Webster Daniel

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.

Weil Joseph

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.

Weiler A.H.

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Weinberg Darrin

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.


A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Wellington The Duke of

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Wellington Duke

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Wells Carolyn

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Wells H.G.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Wells H.G.

If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

Wells H.G.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Wells H.G.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Wells H.G.

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Wells J. Wellington

You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

Wells J. Wellington

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.

Wells H.G.

In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had w

West Mae

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

West Mae

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

West Rebecca

Language is a virus from another planet.

Whalen Philip

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Wheeler Harvey

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

White E. B.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

White E.B.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

White E.B.

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

White Paul

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

White T.H.

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

White T.H.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

White William Allen

Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

White William Allen

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

White Katherine

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Whitehead A.N.

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Whitehead Alfred North

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Whitehead Alfred North

We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Whitehorn Katharine

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Who Dr.

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Whorfin Lord John

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Wicker Tom

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Wicker Tom


Wicker Tom

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Wier Bob

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Wiggam Alfred E.

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Wilde Oscar

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Wilde Oscar

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Wilde Oscar

Don't everyone thank me at once!

Wilde Oscar

I would have made a good pope.

Wilde Oscar

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Wilde Oscar

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Wilde Oscar

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Wilde Oscar

The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing and humiliating reality.

Wilde Oscar

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Wilde Oscar

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Wilde Oscar

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Wilde Oscar

I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.

Wilde Oscar

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Wilde Oscar

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Wilde Oscar

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Wilde Oscar

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Wilde Oscar

"... gentlemen do not read each other's mail."

Wilde Oscar

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Wilde Oscar

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Wilde Oscar

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Wilde Oscar

"California is proud to be the home of the freeway."

Wilde Oscar

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."

Wilde Oscar

So little time, so little to do.

Wilde Oscar

We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.

Wilde Oscar

The Least Successful Police Dogs America has a very strong candidate in "La Dur", a fearsome looking schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida in 1978. He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or of

Wilde Oscar

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Wilde Oscar

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Wilde Oscar

If you want divine justice, die.

Wilde Oscar

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Wilde Oscar

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Wilde Oscar

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Wilde Oscar

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Wilde Oscar

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Wilde Oscar

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Wilde Oscar

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Wilde Oscar

Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Wilde Oscar

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Wilder Billy

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Wilder Billy

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Will George

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Will George

You're either part of the solution or part of the problem.

Willard F. Libby

Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.


She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

William Gibson

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

William S. Paley

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

William Shakespeare

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

William Shakespeare

I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

William Shakespeare

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

William Shakespeare

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

William Shakespeare

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Williams H.H.

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Williams Robin

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Williams Tennessee

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Williams Robin

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Williamson Nicol

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Williamson Dr. Paul

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Willie Sutton

Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Wills Derek

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Wilson Earl

The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Wilson Earl

Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

Wilson Edmund

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Wilson Woodrow

Turn the other cheek.

Wilson Robert

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Win Sir

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Winch Marty

We have no scorched earth policy. We have a policy of scorched Communists.

Winchell Walter

Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."


No good deed goes unpunished.

Winkle R.V.

Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.


The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Winters George

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Winters Shelley

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."


The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.


of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards from man-made sources."


Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Wo Sir Henry

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Wodehouse Sean O'Casey on P.G.

There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

Wolfe Nero

We are all so much together and yet we are all dying of loneliness.

Wolfe Nero

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Wolfe Thomas

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Wolfe Gene

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Wolfe Nero

Black people have never rioted. A riot is what white people think blacks are involved in when they burn stores.

Wood Grant

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

Woody Allen

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Woody Allen

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Woody Allen

Young men are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for counsel; and fitter for new projects than for settled business. For the experience of age, in things that fall within the compass of it, directeth them; but in new things, a


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Wright Frank Lloyd

Man is by nature a political animal.

Wright Frank Lloyd

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Wright Frank Lloyd

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Wurster Hall

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"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.
Pat Cadigan

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